Tuesday, 01 November 2011

  • Social Media's Sometimes-Negative Effect On Relationships



    It's not official until it's up on Facebook, right? What once was private is now made public through status updates or tweets. People just have to announce EVERYTHING about their relationships, it seems. It's almost to the point where you can know the entire drama between a couple without even seeing them. Almost everyone can cite a true life experience of this.

    I have to admit, I'm in love with my social media. I, like many others, procrastinate on Facebook. I am one of the biggest Twitter addicts alive (Lovelyish dish to come later). I blog and Skype regularly. However, sometimes too much can be shared on these sites. It's one thing to say that you're out with friends, or headed out on the town. It's something else entirely to post statuses on every little thing that you do with your significant other, or to tweet about your issues with your boyfriend?

    And is my Twitter timeline the only one with bitter people who have no problem talking about their exes like they're complete trash? And maybe it's true, but is it necessary to share with the world wide web, with people that you don't even always know? Maybe it's just time to for me to start unfollowing some people. 

    I think that putting all your romantic, sexual, personal business out on Facebook or Twitter opens up the door for public commentary. I've seen friends commenting on other people's relationships, all because of an issue that they put out in the open. It all can lead to ugly, public debates, which can have a negative effect on love lives. Social media has brought some pretty nasty problems for couples. Three simple things come to mind.

    The FB relationship status. It's cute to put up relationship statuses (I sometimes scream of joy when I see a new couple made on FB). But it can get complicated and messy when one party decides to hide their status, or change it to "It's complicated" after an argument or something. Especially without communicating that decision to their significant other. Something as small as that can change a whole dynamic of a relationship.

    Friendly communication with friends/exes. Communication with exes or even cute friends on FB or Twitter can spark yet another argument between a couple. God forbid, you comment on a friend's picture, or hit the "Like" button when they type a status about a new job. Insecurity over this can lead to a terrible fight. 


    Private fights gone public.
     These days, people will have full-on fights on FB or Twitter, going back and forth on an issue that should have been kept private. If I see one more fight between parents over their child, I'm going to go insane. There are just some topics that should not be put out in the open like that.

    I love social media, but sometimes people post way too much about their personal lives, or allow their insecurity to make them over-analyze the tiniest comment or status change.

    Do you believe that people post too much about their personal lives online? Does social media have an effect on relationships? 

     

Comments (9)

  • AubreyBird@xanga

    This sort of attitude is the result of immaturity, not the existence of social media.  

  • blondiedeam@xanga

    Yeah, over a year ago my boyfriend and I decided to delete all social media because we could tell it was negatively affecting our relationship. We don't miss it all and it has helped us become happier and avoid the tons of fights we use to have about Facebook (i.e the jealousy and the time consuming part) I think deleting our Facebook's was one of the top 10 best decisions we have made as a couple. Lol.

  • AllySantra@xanga

    Absolutely. I do agree with Audrey above, it isn't social media's fault, it's just people's immaturity being brought to light. Some people just can't resist creating drama, they don't care if it's out in the open for everyone to see. :\

  • carydeeluxe@xanga

    the airing of dirty laundry via social networking sites makes me really uncomfy. i've never displayed my relationship status on facebook. i don't think i'll ever need attention badly enough to want to do so.

    but yeah, i agree with above insofar as social media certainly provides a public stage on which the immature, the desperate and the bored can dramatise their humdrum little lives. it's not exactly social media's fault, per say, but i do think social media helps perpetuate it.

  • Hinase@xanga
  • xraindropsonroses@xanga

    my boyfriend doesn't have facebook, that's alright... I'm kind of glad about that.

    I still have myself listed as "in a relationship" because I had a couple friends who kept trying to set me up,then a couple guys who were trying to go out with me....  and it was just faster to put it on facebook then to tell everyone in person. I don't regret it. Even with my past relationship, I didn't regret having it on facebook either. But it's a personal choice.

  • written_conversations@xanga

    this isn't facebook's fault, it's people's fault.

  • WaitingToShrug@xanga

    That might be more of a result of who you are friends with than the network itself. I keep myself happy on facebook by keeping the list pruned down a lot.

  • MassiveVortex@xanga

    I'm not even gonna btoher reading this because I'm tired of hearing and reading the same constant shit. YES. WE GET IT. Social media has drastically changed the dating world. However, if someone's too busy tweeting to make a connection with your S.O., or too busy making it "facebook official" to pay attention on a date, that's THEIR problem, not the Internet's.

    And by the way? Kim Kardashian's failed "wedding"? I'M OVER IT. Stupid reality stars like her do this kind of shit ALL THE TIME for publicity, why does it surprise anyone? And who cares if she's actually heartbroken about this? Kardashian should've thought about that before being so rash about this decision, her partner, filming her wedding for many many people to see, and all of that stupid garbage that I almost guarantee you she DIDN'T think og. Treat your relationship like a scripted sitcom and then it becomes one--finished after the first year.
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