Wednesday, 21 September 2011

• Listen to This Music! Then Let's Make Out!

  
  (your boyfriend after you put on Kings of Leon in bed)
  
  Some researchers recently surveyed college students on which songs make them feel sexiest during sex. So, allow some professors to tell you which songs are HOTT, y'all!
  

  Hella Good, No Doubt: Gwen Stefani sounds like she’s standing right next to you, telling you to “keep on dancing”—probably a veiled sexual reference. Relaxed vocals where the singer is close to the microphone let you hear moistness and breathiness, which is sexier than if they sound like they’re yelling.

  Um, hella no! This is not a song to get your romance on to. Also, -30000 points for "moistness."
  

  Psychotic Girl, The Black Keys: This indie-rock tune clocks in at right around 80 beats per minute—one of two tempos deemed sexiest, probably because they’re also common in hip movements and other rhythms during sex. The other is 130 bpm (prime example: I Like It, by Enrique Iglesias).

  Okay, I love me some Black Keys, but I do not want to boogie down as a song plays about a crazy girl. I recommend instead that you check out Dan Auerbach's solo stuff, which is basically sex in audio format.
  

  Rude Boy, Rihanna: Well, besides the fact that she’s smoking hot, Rihanna uses not one but two vocal styles here. In the loud sections, she arouses (“Can you get it up?”), while the quieter parts create intimacy (“I like the way you touch me there”). A similar effect occurs when sweet or whispered vocals float over a hard-rocking background.

  What? No.
  
  Here are some songs that I would actually recommend for make-out sessions:
  
  

  • Portishead, "Glory Box"
  • Mazzy Star, "Fade Into You"
  • the xx, "Islands"
  • The Veils, "Sit Down by the Fire"
  • Syntax, "Pride"
  • The Dead Weather, "Will There Be Enough Water"
  • Massive Attack, "Teardrop"
  • Hooverphonic, "Mad About You"
  • Ryan Adams, "Wonderwall (cover)"
  • Ben Harper and Vanessa de Mata, "Boa Sorte"

  
  Do you have a "romance" playlist?
  

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