Friday, 16 September 2011
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How Do You Deal With Horrific Dorm Experiences?
It was 1:15 am. I stood in my room, fresh out of the shower, clutching my towel around me. My room is connected to my suitemates' room through our bathroom; I could hear someone in their room knocking on their bathroom door to see if the coast was clear.I eyed my own bathroom door menacingly, willing the person knocking so loudly and deliberately to feel my burning hatred for him.
My roommate, who had been trying to go to sleep, sighed and looked at me. "It's gonna be one of those nights, isn't it?"
She truly had no idea.
Minutes previously, I'd been in the shower and heard my suitemates enter their room with several boys. I didn't think anything of it. Even though the bathrooms in the dorms don't have locks, the walls are paper thin, so I knew nobody would have any problems hearing the shower running. Seriously, you can hear someone taking a shower from down the hall.
But out of the clear blue, a boy opened the door. A boy. While I was taking a shower.
Maybe this wouldn't have been a big deal had there been an opaque curtain or a stall door, but the shower curtains the dorms provide are essentially like frosted glass; they may blur things, but... they show things. So here I am, behind this sheer curtain, with a strange (probably drunk, as it was Thursday night) boy walking into my bathroom.
"EXCUSE ME!" I yelled. He backed out and shut the door. I rolled my eyes and continued my shower, almost managing to shake it off. What are the odds of something like that ever happening again, right?
Mere minutes later, I hear three quick knocks on the door before it is immediately opened before I had the chance to announce my presence. Again, by a boy. While I was taking a freaking shower.
"UMMMMM?!" I yelled. Again, he backed out and shut the door. This time, I was so beyond flustered and furious that my hands were shaking. I finished my shower at top speed and got the hell out of the bathroom.
To any boys reading this: girls like you. Really, we do. But I don't care how pissed drunk you are, or how badly you have to pee... you do not walk into a bathroom when a girl is taking a shower. Unless, of course, you've been given permission. But considering how I haven't yet given any boy permission to see me naked, suffice it to say I don't appreciate the fact that strangers have now seen that much of me.
Ew ew ew. EWWWW. Pardon my shuddering.
Guys, I've never dealt with anything like this before. My suitemates last year were nowhere near this problematic! But now I'm standing dripping wet in my room because drunk boys I've never met before are apparently having a public peeing session in my bathroom after repeatedly walking in on me. And notice how courteous they were AFTER the water was no longer running? I can't even...
And I swear, I don't know how many people were in my suitemates' room last night, but they were using the bathroom like Grand Central Station. Remember when I mentioned that the walls are paper thin? If I were a bigger bitch, I would've purposely walked in on them... but that would've involved seeing way more of these boys than I cared to see.
UGH. I'm still SO MAD about this.
What do you think I should do? Should I confront my suitemates about keeping more control over their drunken obnoxious friends, or should I let it go and hope (read: pray) it doesn't happen again?
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- From: darci
- About Me: I'm a New York native attending the University of Miami (go Canes!). I love Cherry Coke, all '80s pop culture, the Olympics, snow, and a good story. :) Follow me on twitter at @darcisays!
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Comments (38)
Those people seriously suck. You have to sit down and establish some ground rules with them, possibly with your RA present.
Transfer to a single?
@lewk@xanga - Thankfully my roommate isn't the problem. But unfortunately, singles are connected to another room through the bathroom as well, so I'd still have to deal with my (now not so irrational) fear of being walked in on while I'm in the bathroom. :(
Ugh, that's horrible. They should really put locks on the bathroom doors if they're shared..
I can understand why the bathroom doors don't have locks incase one or the other forgets to unlock the door afterwards. You said the curtain was more or less see thru, so maybe hang up another curtain or replace it to avoid this in the future? It won't stop drunks from coming it, but it can stop them from seeing much.
try putting stops infront of the door?
Confront them NOW. Trust me, I speak from bitter experience that things will just get worse if you don't.
I agree with @july37@xanga - block the door with something, preferably something heavy. And yes, you should talk to your suitemates about it.
WHOA. Not cool.
I lived in a dorm room like that last year. Fortunately there was a lock, but I definitely had conflict with my suite mates as they always blamed me for the mess in the bathroom. It was always my hair caught in the drain. It was always my pee that splashed on the toilet seat. It was always my change the roll of the toilet paper. Ironically, my hair is red while all of their hair was black. AND, I am a neat freak, so I knew I never made a mess. Ugh, I can go on for days.
I transferred out of my last school because the dilemmas piled on and I realized I wasn't happy there. If you don't want to transfer, perhaps instead of being passive with them, extend the olive branch by inviting them over to your room for pizza and you can lay down the law. If they don't abide by the rules, address it to the RA. After all, it's their job to handle this kind of stuff.
Go to your RA ASAP I mean seriously... that's awful
talk to your suitemate bout it, if it happens again go to the RA.
hope it doesnt happen again!get a portable door lock. I have the Add-A-Lock door lock.
http://www.walkabouttravelgear.com/safety.htm
he did that on purpose. effin perv. ugh~ that's why I didn't stay at the dorms but commuted to school nearby.
worst comes to worst, move out?
Talk to suites then talk to RA. You gotta put your foot down and let them know that was not acceptable.
Funniest article ever
Definitely let them know that you don't want this kind of stuff happening ever again. You should be able to take a shower in peace in your bathroom without having to worry about strangers walking in on you. What the hell?
Get a door stop.
I definitely would have bitched the fuck out of my suit mate as soon as I got some clothes on. That is in no way ever acceptable. I would've made a scene with the amount of curse words I'd be screaming.
The only thing I can think of is to go to your RA and tell her your concerns and hopefully she can voice them to your suitemates. Maybe she'll talk to them about bringing drunk guys over and about making sure their friends are more careful.
But besides that it really seems like one of those things you can't do much about. You can talk to them yourself but they'll just use the excuse that their friends were drunk and they couldn't do anything about it. The best you can do is hope they'll be embarassed of their friends enough to keep a tighter leash on them next time.
I wouldn't go to the RA right away, I think that's a terrible idea. By going to the RA you're kind of tattle-taling them, which could really lead to some tension. I'd go over there and talk to them, just really nicely. Like someone above me said, maybe ask them over for pizza or something. Just be super nice about it and explain that you're sensitive about this. If they're not total bitches, they'll understand.
Talk to the suitemates and then to your RA if it happens again. Make a rule that boys are not allowed in the bathroom while a girl is taking a shower or using the toilet. Or let them know you're taking a shower beforehand.
Before I graduated, I knew this well. It sucks that locks don't work both ways (keep people from entering dorm-room and keep people from entering occupied bathroom). However, there is something you can do, no matter if the problem was them being too drunk to think or intentional perviness. The two things we did in our set up were:
1. Get bright red foam door hangers that said "Occupied" on them and put them on the knobs. When using the bathroom, we would slide out the hanger and they would know.
2. (Extra measure, helpful if dealing with drunks). There are these sticky 3M hooks you can put up and they come off at the end of the year. They come in packs of 2 or 3, usually. We took four and stuck them on both doors of the bathroom with rubber bands. Hopefully this shows how it was done:
| J | J
| |
| O |
If we were using the bathroom, we would take the rubber band and put it on the hooks on the door (doubled over, since it makes it harder to stretch the band. Also make sure the band is snuggly on).
Maybe that could help...? I do also suggest talking to your suitemates about that, because that was seriously rude of their guests.
I would say yes confront them and yes talk to the RA. I wouldn't necessarily ask the RA to take action at this time, but I would establish a "paper trail" in case this becomes a pattern.
then I would take action. yes, lock the doors. by lock i mean as others suggested block them with something. if necessary, and if you can, buy knob sets that have locks on them and change them out with whatever's on there now. I wouldn't hand out the keys to that either.
I'll be honest, if it's it's how you say it is then it sounds more like an "accident" than an accident; especially the second guy. i mean come on, even if the first guy was too stupid to realize someone was in the bathroom do you really honestly believe the group just forgot that he went off to the bathroom and then came back after getting yelled at by the naked girl that was in there? nah, like I said; confront the 'mates, talk to the RA and take some pro-active steps.