Dear Gentlemen, and Gents-Oft-Mistaken-for-Ladies:I get it. This is Brooklyn. Not only is this Brooklyn, but it's Williamsburg, arguably the hippest neighborhood therewithin. So I realize where we're coming from here. Your shorts are cool. Your unwashed hair? So sick. I got it.
For the most part, your style doesn't bother me too much. Sure, I chuckle at your man bag while I'm waiting for the L train, and I marvel at how you can see in front of you on Bedford Avenue wearing those larger-than-life glasses. But I've gotten used to the tight inseams and the plaid that cling to my Brooklyn brethren. Whatevs.
But, every now and then, I pass an extra special one of you on the street, and I do a double take, not because you look bootylicious in those neon cutoffs, but in a knee-jerk, "omg, for realz?" sort of fashion.
Really,
Guy with the Flowing Blonde Curly Hair, what are you going for here? The Ironic Poodle look? Your mane looks like you're the lucky recipient of when Fabio and Michael Bolton teamed up for Locks of Love.
Skinny Asian Dude with the entire front panels of your jeans cut out, from WAY TOO HIGH on the thigh, down? What are you trying to do, ventilate your leg hair? You know we can see the entire outline of your fruit basket, right,
Jeggings Man?
I love those of you who have a hint of hipster coolness: give me a skinny guy in pair of thick glasses or some vaguely tight pants, and I'm in heaven. But as much as I like the hipster look, I like my men to look like MEN, not like Kate Moss with a slightly butch-er haircut. If we appear to have the same waist-to-hip ratio, I'm really not into lining ours up together to check, if you know what I mean.
So, I'll keep my eye out for you, wispy and insanely dressed androgynes, if only for amusement's sake. But please, give me some elbow room on the subway. Your tutu is making my leg itch.
Yours truly,Jessica "Why is there glitter in my fair trade coffee?" M.
True 
Comments (51)
loved it.
haha this is great!
lolol
lmfao i loved this!
i dislike hipsters for one reason, and one reason only. honestly, they'd be pretty amusing otherwise, but i'm convinced they jack up prices wherever they move. see, i grew up in astoria, but then some stupid hipsters decided it was the place to be, so a couple of them moved in there & made parts of it all trendy and stuff. and of course, it got more expensive, so my mom & i couldnt afford it anymore, and spent almost a yr looking for housing elsewhere. we finally moved to the bronx, which is apparently the last affordable-ish (and, as far as i can tell, hipster-free) borough left. i mean, sure there are many parts of other boroughs that are hipster free (usually the cheaper parts, which adds to my theory), but i don't think i've even seen any hipster neighborhoods in the bronx. i'm hoping they don't bother with it.
i guess this whole expensive thing could just be a result of the general state of the economy, and i guess nothing is really "affordable" in nyc, but fuck that. im convinved there is a correlation between an areas general affordability an its population of hipsters. gotta blame someone right?
btw, i almost pissed myself at "jeggings man". so do not want to picture that.
This was...interesting.
i STILL dont really know what a hipster is... -_-
@zzzzzulavalle@xanga - just visit williamsburg brooklyn. it's self explanatory once you see it. or if you're too far to come see our hipster zoo, google image search LOL
hahaha
@zzzzzulavalle@xanga - me either. I dislike labels..
But more importantly if you live in williamsburg you're stupid. $2,000 for a tiny ass room a month. lol. that MIGHT be an exaggeration, but seriously. go kick rocks.
XDDDDDDDD 'Twas funneh.
awesome.
my school = hipster. they've made brooklyn ridiculously expensive -_- and manage to change the names of a lot of neighborhoods into "cute" short ones..like LoHo...blah blah.
@Hinase@xanga - psh, hipster isn't a label; it's a style/subculture :P
fun rant ^_^
@xsPoNgEs_go_SQUISHx13@xanga - Oh..but still it does kind of label things oh well...but I still don't understand what it's about.
rofl! I hear you - and see the same shit when I'm in Williamsburg.
Hahahaha loved reading this. Thanks! :)
hahaha love it
@SeitekiChibiNeko@xanga - do you live in Williamsburg too?
@birthdaygirlbaby@xanga - haha, my rent is definitely NOT that much. it's a great neighborhood, too :)
@chiffon_pixie@xanga - yeah, if I had grown up in Brooklyn, I'd be pissed at the hipster infiltration, too. My area of Williamsburg has a lot of Italian immigrants, and I always see them looking at the hipsters walking around like, "wtf." We've displaced a lot of local businesses with our fair trade coffee shops and yoga studios
awww.... i live in williamsburg :/ and go to art school... shit.
hahahahaha, i adore this though."hipster" girls arent as bad as guys though...right???
how about you just leave them alone i mean is their style really hurting you. i dont think so stop making fun of them
I would have added the fact that they dress just like you in Alabama to the list. It would make them cry or implode, but then again they might ironically start calling themselves Jeb, Bubba, and Jethro.
@chiffon_pixie@xanga - Not a lot of hipsters in the Bronx, there are more rappers/hiphop/break dancer wannabes. Additionally in the Bronx there are Punks, Skaters, Emos, and an occasional Goth. I'm without label. ^_^