I don't find myself attractive, at all.Now, I will clarify here, this is not a self hating statement. Note my wording: note how I never said I am not attractive. I just do not perceive myself that way. The key term there is "perceive." Perception is a process unique to each and every person.
It is a combination of past experiences, preferences and ability to think fluidly. The past experiences may teach you that a certain thing is definably "ugly" or "beautiful." From there, preferences are formed, helping you determine which things attract and which repulse you. Fluidity is the ability to be open-minded and flexible in thinking, seeing beauty in new or different things.
If I were to see myself, in a third person setting, I would not find myself to be beautiful or attractive. I have my own perception of beauty, which leads to my own personal definition of it. This definition can not be verbalized or written, for it is simply ingrained in my subconscious. The same concept that I apply to others is applied to myself.
I am not ugly. I just do not fit my own definition of beauty. Yet, there are certain less commonly appreciated things that I find attractive. My beauty definition includes: messy hair and sweat after a workout, collarbones, a cocky attitude, intelligence, written words and flaws. I am a perfectionist, but I love the flaws in others. Weird, but that is just how I perceive beauty.
When others compliment me, I often find myself surprised. Annoying as it is to others, my favorite response is "really?" It is not that I am fishing for further assurance of my attractiveness, but that I am genuinely shocked that someone thinks I am beautiful. Though perhaps as humans we are merely more harsh on ourselves.
I suppose what I need to stress here is this:Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because one person says you are unattractive does not mean that is true. There is no universal criteria for beauty, you cannot simply be beautiful or ugly. Those terms do not exist in a single definable way, what one person sees to be attractive is not going to be the same as someone else. I am sick of girls starving themselves just to be "beautiful" and guys bulking up just because they think that is how they should look.
Wake up, beauty does not exist. Perception does. If you are unsure on perception, look it up.
Do you find yourself attractive? Do you find certain things attractive that are not common "beauty" (physical or mental) standards?
True
Comments (56)
yes
I agree. While ten people may find someone unattractive, there are always ten more people who find that same person beautiful to look at.
Good post =) I agree
Great post <3
I love you for this post♥
I like this very much.
Exactly how I see it.
Girls starve themselves because a majority of guys prefer lean, fit girls who have boobs and nice asses. I know somewhere, someone thinks that my body at 5'3" and 135 lbs is perfection, but I want to be 110-120 lbs instead because that's what most guys would find attractive.
There may not be one body type that is the epitome of "beauty," but there is definitely a certain body type that is preferred by a majority of the population.
good post =)
I agree, However, I have never met a single person, myself and family included that hasn't perceived me as hideous. That tells me that there must be some standard and I am apparently never going to be anywhere near it.
@sempermedusa@xanga - you're surrounded by idiots apparently.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - I won't deny it, but I think "robots" might be a better title.
I love the way I look some days, but others, wooweee!
I like this post a lot.
I think moles are really pretty!
I love big ears and chubby cheeks!
:)
by that argument, nothing exists. only perception.
sometimes i find myself attractive but other times i dont. i feel like if i wasnt fat then i could be really pretty but im not so yea
I think I'm attractive, but not beautiful because I am the complete opposite in features and looks that I find to be beautiful. But others compliment me and I accept it. I hope I do not sound conceited !
I'm happy with how I look; I'm okay with it. I was never the token "hot" girl; too short, dark haired, dark eyed, butt too big. But then I moved to Sydney and I was "hot": guys hitting on me everywhere I went, calling me gorgeous, men (and ocasionally women) staring at me... it was a weird experience. I guess their perception of attractive is my features, how I look. Meanwhile, back home, my features and how I look are just average. I don't feel particularly beautiful or ugly or anything, just, well, I'm happy with myself. I feel gorgeous when I'm nicely dressed and happy; I feel uglier when I'm sick. My own perception of how I look is fluid. I don't think "ugly" or "beautiful" or "hot" or "cute" are set in stone traits. And I truly believe how we feel about ourselves and our personality greatly affect how our looks are perceived.
I love scars. Huge eyes. Large hands. Large backs. I'll take a guy who's a tad overweight over a skinny man most of the times. I like very slight signs of aging: a few wrinkles here and there, body hair, specks of grey in a beard.
i loove this post
I think in the exact same way as you (:
Do you find yourself attractive? Yes, I do. But for some reason, I find it hard to feel attractive. I'm not sure why.
Do you find certain things attractive that are not common "beauty" (physical or mental) standards? I guess so. I prefer short men; I don't know many other women who like that in a man. :)
I enjoyed this post, and I agree with it.
Then I wish he percieves me as beautiful. lol
I feel you, i think the same way
no i don't find myself beautiful. & yes, i find certain things beautiful that aren't usually thought to be so. your entry described my views exactly. it was a great read. :)
agree!