Saturday, 28 November 2009

  • Sex Before Marriage: The Girl's Perspective

    Sex Before Marriage: The Girl's Perspective


    I'm not going to sit and blab on about sex before marriage being "bad" or "against religion" like your parents would. Sex is completely natural. Truth be told, humans are created to have sex, or reproduce, and die. Obviously, that's a very skimmed down look at life, but it's the truth.

    Now, depending on your religion or not, you may be totally in favor of waiting to have sex. But I know a lot of people are not waiting. I said "Go with the flow, do what feels right." I decided to lose my virginity when it felt right, and when I felt like I was ready. I wasn't going to force myself into waiting. That to me seems unnatural.

    It's not wrong to wait, and it's not wrong to have sex before you get married. You can go with your own beliefs; don't keep yourself from something you feel ready for. But if you are deciding to wait it might be harder then you think. Once you get a boyfriend in your teen years and you two start getting comfortable with each other, there's going to be a lot of lying around, meaning there might be a lot of temptation. To be safe, if you looking for someone to date they should have the same amount of sexual experience, this would make it easier for you two to keep to your personal promises. There is people that run into each other that fall head over heels for each other and they don't have the same personal promises. You can make it work.

    Don't listen to what other's tell you. You don't have to wait if you don't want to. There is no right or wrong way to go. Make your decision based on what you think you're ready for. It's your choice. Either way you go the experience is something very special, at least in my mind it is. It's not going to be perfect, but it'll be special.

    What are your views on sex before marriage? Did you wait/are you planning to?

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Comments (179)

  • soyeahthatswhathappened@xanga

    i think sex should be saved until after you're married. aside from my religious beliefs, it just is smart in so many ways. but i don't think sex before marriage is the "worst thing ever" and i wouldn't judge someone who had it.
  • awkward__girl@xanga

    i love this post :) i definitely agree with what you said. i hate how girls are pressured into waiting till after their married, it will just want them to react irrationally and to go against authority.
    oh and im waiting until the right time.
    =]
  • SamiiSaysHaii@xanga

    I'm just waiting for the guy I know is right for me. I know I'm not going to have sex now, since I'm only 15 and I personally think it's wrong to have sex at such a young age [plus I don't even like anybody that much], but when I'm older and I have someone that's very special to me, then maybe. It'll happen when it'll happen and I know it'll be when the time is right. If it's after marriage, then yay for me ! If not, I'm sure the world won't end.
  • ccarothers@xanga

    I am waiting until marriage.  I want to give myself to the one guy willing to give me his name.  Who knows me for something other than my sex.  
  • Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga

    I don't have a beef with pre-marital sex. People can do it for whatever reason they want to, whether they just want to or whether they want it to be meaningful for their marriage.
  • ScribbledSunshine@xanga

    i thought i'd wait until marriage. i've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he's the one, but we don't want to get married right now - we want to be more secure in our careers. when we decided to have sex it was after realizing that we want to get married, and we are eachother's firsts & as far as we're concerned - we're going to be eachothers lasts & onlys. (and yes, whenever i say that people always like to interject that we aren't married yet and the divorce rate blah blah blah)
  • EmergencySurveys@xanga

    i wanted to, but it didn't happen.
    & this one boy said he wanted to marry me, so i was like, "then i want to wait til we get married to have sex again." he started bitching & complaining. really? you want to marry me & can't do that for me? asshole.

  • plump_Katz@xanga

    I'm actually so scared of pregnancy that I don't even need to try XD

    Morally, I don't really care.

  • anonymous
    I didn't wait and I totally regret it. I lost my virginity at 16 to my then boyfriend who now is a distant memory. I'm married now and wish my Husband was my first and only. The other experience sorta irritates me!
  • sexncookies@xanga

    i lost it the most horrible way possible...after 18 yrs of waiting. one drunk night fucked it all up.......i let my guard down cause I thought id be safe.


    but i have no regrets. shit happens. theres nothing i can do but to move on and make better decisions later in the future.
  • FallenReign@xanga

    I'm waiting until I trust someone enough to have sex. I have weird trust issues and if he (whoever he may be) loves me as much as he says he does then he's gonna have to wait. 
  • haltija@xanga

    personally, i like to know what something tastes like before i go ahead and buy it in bulk at costco. if i take that kind of care with my groceries, how in the world am i going to just gamble on my partner satisfying me? haha.
  • curious_maya@xanga

    i don't know about waiting for marriage..
    i mean.. what if i don't marry till i'm like 40 :| ..i'm only 16 now but i'll make sure i'll at least love and trust the person truly and that they love me too before having sex
  • heidi_teamaster@xanga

    Losing my virginity before marriage....biggest mistake of my life.

    Although I do believe that everybody has their own path.  To each his own....but me not waiting (at least a little longer) was a mistake.

    =/
  • emiliahhhx7@xanga

    I think you should wait until you're in love. Marriage is the safest way to do that, because you are committed to each other and know that you want to be together for a while. But there are certainly times when you're not married but deeply in love. It all depends on whether your both ready. If your partner is ready and your not, it wouldn't be smart to give in. Personally I believe in waiting until marriage, but I can't even really say that I'm following what I believe in, so whatever is good for the individuals together. 
  • RachelEliason@xanga

    I am going to go out on a limb and state that I for one am totally in favor of sex before marriage. Good sex involves chemistry. sometimes it's there, sometimes it's not. If it's not, you want to know that before you marry someone.

    A lot of people think that marriage will somehow magically change their relationship, but it won't. I think you need to be totally comfortable with every aspect of the relationship before you make a huge legal and moral commitment to it. While it runs against the grain, I not only believe in sex before marriage, but also in living together. too many divorces result from people being in a hurry to get married without first knowing everything there is to know about their partner; how well they keep their living space clean, how they handle money, what they are like in bed.

    Of course many people's religious and moral ideology will conflict with that. I guess it's just a matter of opinion, but I tend to be more practical about things like this. Everyone is different and that's a good thing.
  • ChelseaSmilesMore@xanga

    I didn't plan on waiting til marraige, and now it's a bit too late for that, haha.
    I don't regret it now and I'm hoping to not regret it later in life either.
  • her_phantasmagoria@xanga

    I respect that this post did not shove the writer's views down my throat.


    I think it is entirely a personal choice and no one person is going to act (or not act) for the same reason. Do what is natural to you. Simple as that.
  • live_for_love@xanga

    My sisters really enjoy the saying "You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it first, would you? Same goes for men."

    Personally, I don't care what people do. Have sex or don't, it's not a big deal.
  • openmindedgirlk@xanga

    I'm kinda waiting till marriage, I'm kinda not. If I meet a guy that I love and he loves me, then I could see myself having sex. We don't have to to be together forever but in that moment we have to love each other. I want to be in a lasting relationship and not just a one nighter. Most ppl aren't vrigins today and there is nothing wrong with it. I pretty sure guys don't expect girls to virgins as much as they probably once did.
  • sophia@xanga

    my thoughts exactly
  • secretglamor@xanga

    @RachelEliason@xanga - True, being married isn't going to change the relationship. Or maybe the person just isnt ready for sex yet, that wont change either.


    @awkward__girl@xanga - That's what I did. Do what feels right, not what you were told is right.


    @live_for_love@xanga - Well, I wouldn't but it like that but yeah, if you love someone and if you feel the time is right have sex.


  • suggestivetongue@xanga

    I have had sex before marriage and I will continue to have sex before marriage. I will also have a lot of sex after marriage. From what I've studied about waiting... god no, I could never.

  • sarahzthoughts@xanga

    I don't understand why everyone thinks that the decision to wait until marriage is only because of religion. There are plenty of secular reasons to wait as well. So it's definitely not "archaic" or "old-fashioned."


    What irritates me most about posts like these is the complete disregard for a little something called SELF CONTROL. Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you're all of a sudden going to become a slave to your hormones...unless you want to, of course. What separates humans from animals is the ability to reason, and use common sense. Believe it or not, it's actually possible to be in a committed relationship with someone, without sleeping together. There's more to life (and love!) than sex.
  • DAMN_itsz_KRYSIE@xanga

    @awkward__girl@xanga - Agreed.

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