I'm replying to a recent post:
I Am a Teen Mom. I really didn't like it because it just adds to the stereotype of teen moms.
Sure, she tells girls not to have babies when they're teenagers because it's hard. I won't deny that. But did anyone read the comments, and see how many girls supported abortions, using the reason that raising a kid would be too hard, because the poster had to give up so much?
Your life is not over once you have a child. I've said it plenty of times already, but I'll say it again. I do
not
regret having my son at 18. Not even for a second. He's changed my life, but for the better. I would still be an immature, selfish girl without him. I've grown up, and learned to put other people's needs before my own wants.
I don't care that I don't get to go to all the parties my friends have. I could go to college if I want to, but I don't. I have a career. I could work more hours and have more money, but I would rather be home with my son. I have plenty of time to do these things when he starts school. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.
I don't
want teenage girls to get pregnant, but I know that it happens. Make the best of it. See your child as a gift, not a burden. You made this decision, stick with it. It has amazing rewards.
Comments (229)
Also, abortion isn't the only option if you are unready to raise a child.
While I am pro-choice, I also think abortion should be considered.
Each case is different, and it's up to the individual girl to make the choice she thinks is best for her. Sometimes a child will be an amazing thing in her life, but sometimes not.
You're so right. Love the tattoo btw :)
^^ I agree with you.
i agree. :)
but i also think 18 is youngest teenage year where its okay to have a child. having a child is okay at 18.
i dont think its so much about the teenage mom missing anything though, its more about the child. what if the mom does not have enough money to raise the child and the child suffers? What if they are not emotionally mature enough? Otherwise, if these things are set, then a teenage mom is okay.
Agree.
Thank you for posting this! And I agree - your life is not over once you have a child. I don't think you should be someone who hands off your child to someone else so you can go out and be the person you were before you have kids, but you can do things once you have children - your priorities just change. That happens whether you have your first child at 16 or if, like me, you have your first at 25. A lot of my friends are going to grad school, starting their careers and I'm at home with two wonderfully crazy toddlers. I know that I only have so much time to enjoy them while they are little, and thankfully it is fiscally possible for me to be a stay at home mom. No matter what, though, they are changing my life. They change what I think about during the day, the way my days go, and I seriously look forward to what we'll do the next day. :) However, none of that would be any different if I did have to work - I'd just have fewer hours with them per day.
I am pro-choice, but I do think that people need to seriously think about the ramifications of that choice. I know that I could never have an abortion, but I think legally, it's any woman's right to make that choice. Sure, I think that's an option for every woman, but I don't always think that's the BEST choice.
I had my son at 18 and i wouldnt trade him for the world. He's the best thing that ever happened in my whole life! :)
He's getting big on me tho ( he's 3 months alreadyy!!) it's sad :(
Everybody is different. Just because YOU think of a child as a gift, doesn't mean every female on the planet has to feel the same way. That's why we have abortions. If you don't like it, don't get one. Or YOU can be the one to support the millions of children whose parents cannot afford to feed or clothe them.
I half agree. "You made this decision" chances are, the only decision that was made was to have sex. The baby part was an oops. Sure, they go hand in hand, but eh.
I also agree that abortion isn't the only choice out there. You could have your child and it could be the best thing that ever happened. You could also have the child and put it up for adoption. You could also decide to have an abortion. All of these are very serious decisions that a person has to make, and I think they should be considered equally. But no matter how you slice it, not everybody is ready to have a child. Hell, at 20 I'm still not ready to have a child.
I'm glad you wrote this post though, it shows that a kid isn't always the end of the world for some people. :]
@OctoberSkyee@xanga - Agreed
I seriously hope this doesn't refuel the abortion debate.
Anyway, I think MOST [not all] teenagers are not ready emotionally or financially to raise a child and it just makes two lives harder [sometimes three if the dad's in the picture].
And as someone said above, a child isn't a blessing to everyone. We are all different people, leading different lives, with different views. You're glad you kept your child. Good for you! Seriously. And I'm glad I aborted my fetus. I know for certain I will never regret it.
Yes.
I was watching 16 and Pregnant last night and I got the warm fuzzies when the teen Mum said "I might miss out on all the parties but I'll do it because I love him", talking about her son.
I kind of agree. A baby shouldn't be looked at as a burden but as a gift. But when a 16 years old gets pregnant, I'm pretty sure they aren't ready yet to raise a kid. But abortion shouldn't be the only option, there is always adoption, someone's baby can always be a gift to someone who can't have kids.
Definitely agree!
Thank you for this. I had my son at 19, and never for one second have I regretted my choice to keep him. He has been a true blessing and improved my life 100%
I respectfully disagree.
"Your life is not over once you have a child."
Actually, yeah it is, in several ways. Your life is now, first and foremost, about protecting and caring for the child. Your life is no longer about you. If I was stuck with a kid, I would consider my life over for all intents and purposes.
"I would still be an immature, selfish girl without him."
Yeah every case is individual, some teenagers can take care of kids blah blah blah... However, from what I've seen, most teenagers remain selfish and immature, baby or no baby, and the kids suffer as a result.
"I've grown up, and learned to put other people's needs before my own wants. I don't care that I don't get to go to all the parties my friends have. I could go to college if I want to, but I don't. I have a career. I could work more hours and have more money, but I would rather be home with my son. I have plenty of time to do these things when he starts school. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything."
Again, good for you, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is not the case for most teenage parents.
"I don't want teenage girls to get pregnant, but I know that it happens. Make the best of it. See your child as a gift, not a burden."
As it turns out though, a child is a burden. A HUGE burden, especially when you're still a child yourself and don't want to deal with the responsibility of being a parent. And when you don't, it becomes a burden on the grandparents when you can't watch it, a burden on the state because you can't afford it, and a burden on the already-full orphanages when you make the misinformed and naive decision to give it up for adoption.
Please don't try to falsely cast any positive light on teenage pregnancy, even in the good-hearted manner of trying to discourage abortion.
@Gorrific@xanga - "And I'm glad I aborted my fetus." Do you call it a fetus to make yourself feel better about? Not many people actually call aborted babies nothing but a fetus, at least they have the balls to call it like it is and not try to sugarcoat it. You are glad that you killed your unborn child. <---does that sound worse to you? It's the same thing, just without the self inserted bullshit. Maybe you should have been more responsible in the first place, then you wouldn't have to be glad about a death that you fucking caused!
I agree. Children are amazing. No one intends to get pregnant but a baby is a blessing.
Nice post
@Gorrific@xanga - Gross.
that's your opinion, obviously that was the right choice in your situation. that doesn't mean it's the right choice for lots of other girls. what about the girl that has no family to support her, a boyfriend that wants nothing to do with a child, or no way to get a job/career because maybe she hasn't even worked at all yet? i'm in college right now, and i'm not even a teen, i'm in my 20s-- and i would not see a baby as a gift if i got pregnant, i would see it as a complete blockade to reaching my dreams in life.
my foster sister was a teen mom..twice. the first she had at 16, the next at 18. guess what? she lost custody of them when they were toddlers, she became too overwhelmed. not everyone is cut out to handle the responsibility of being a mom at a young age, and people shouldn't be made to feel guilty just because they choose not to be.
It's great that you don't regret having your child and many women don't, but there's nothing wrong with people who would abort if they got pregnant. Nothing wrong with wanting to wait either
@cherrypopstar@xanga - If the mom has no money or isn't mature enough, that's when you put the baby up for adoption :P
It's called a choice. While some teenagers do decide to practice unsafe sex, many simply have a mistake happen just as can happen with adults. However, unlike adults, teenagers have an underdeveloped brain, aren't fully matured mentally, and do not have the same abilities and opportunities as adults to care for a child. I support women/teenage women who do choose to have the child, but there are plenty of teenager and women for whom abortion is a better option.
@helvetebrann@xanga - Abortion should not be an option. That is gross.