Sunday, 22 November 2009
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Maybe I'm Overweight on Purpose...?
I realized that men don't like overweight women, but they don't like shapeless women either, and this has been something that has bothered me over the past year or so.
I must have sealed a deal with Satan himself, because I only have curves now that I'm overweight and I'd just like to indicate how unrealistic it is for someone with my body type to not be fat and still have curves.
If I lose my upper body fat, then I'm afraid that my hips and ass will diminish to their former size and that men still won't appreciate my frame. I am not originally an hourglass shape and I personally feel discriminated against because of my natural body type. To be honest, I've never felt too affected by high fashion as much as I feel affected by the standards of the porn industry, and moreover, heterosexual men.
While I understand that the fashion industry has made an impact on women's body image and is the common catalyst for eating disorders (and I support the backlash against this), those who blindly assume the counter-argument that "real women have curves" and that men dislike women without them are creating a double standard.
So it's realistic to have a 36-inch bust, 25-inch waist, 40-inch hips but it's unrealistic to be naturally small-framed?
Anyone who purports to a conclusion like this is hypocritical because some of us are not built like Jessica Rabbit or a live-action Barbie doll, but we are still just as much "woman" as they are. Sorry that I did not "fill out" accordingly to your newfound agenda that all women must come in only one shape in order to be considered feminine. Suggesting one aesthetic for women universally, that for some of us, is only attainable through a variety of expensive cosmetic procedures all the while crusading against anorexia in order to achieve another aesthetic is contradictory.
Some of us have serious body image issues and resort to such measures as starvation because some of us just can't gain weight in all of the "right" places.
Do you resonate with this?
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About the Author
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- From: CadaverineIX@xanga
- Name: CadaverineIX
- About Me: I have a very strong personality, but I consider myself a decent human being. Somewhat high strung? Yes. Prone to be defensive from time to time? Yes. If someone dislikes me, I can guarantee you that it isn't because I was ever unnecessarily rude to them. I am very shy and reserved but also very opinionated. This doesn't mean that I don't ever speak my mind, but I believe that there is always a time and place where speaking it is more necessary than others. I'm tactful and try very hard to keep my more harsh observations to myself. However, this does not mean that I am an extreme pacifist who claims to love everyone, because I definitely do not love everyone. I will probably repeat myself hundreds of times in the future, but I admit that I have issues. Because I'm quite emotional and passionate, I'm a lover and a fighter. If you hurt me or anything/anyone close to me, I can be very unforgiving but if you treat me kindly, I can be loving. I'm sensitive and hurt easily. I'm insecure.
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Comments (72)
This makes sense.
I emphasize on having a natural body shape that requires sacrifice.
I'm naturally athletically framed.
So I either sacrifice having boobs and being fit or have boobs and look bulky :/
agreed.
but this comment will mostly be about how redonklulously hot that plus-sized model is.
Yes and thank you!
A healthy body is a beautiful body.
This is a very very well written post.
Everything is a double standard. Overweight women are going against what women want; stick thin women are going against what men want.Â
All we can do really is just like who we are.
your measurements don't seem indicative of a weight problem, unless you're like, four feet tall.
mine are something like 40-25-33 and i'm nowhere close to overweight.
can't be any truer. the double standard of being skinny and having womanly curves isn't naturally possible, unless you're o_o miraculously blessed. lol.
I'm not skinny nor curvy.
im not skinny, but im nowhere near chubby. at 33-24-33, iv ebeen told i have a very curvy hourglass figure. and i have boobs and and ass. maybe not a DD, but i definitely have a rack.
Amen, sista.
i quite like the post. it's quite well written and logical in it's reasoning.
i personally have a small framed upside-down cone shaped body: tall with broader shoulders, a considerable chest, small waist, narrow hips, and next to no bum. in order for me to be curvy, i would have to gain a significant amount of weight, and even then, i wouldn't have curves in all of the "right" places.
in the end, i prefer being on the thinner end of the spectrum because it's more comfortable for me. i can deal with having no hips or ass, because i try to dress to flatter my figure. men may think they want a particular body type, but they are so easily fooled by the right outfit.
Agreed. I need to lose some weight, but I also don't want to lose my curves in the process! However, I think being healthy should ALWAYS come first. Say you lose weight and do lose your curves...there will still be men out there that appreciate that shape. Being healthy is attractive! Besides, I know at least one guy that has expressed his preference for small-framed, not-so-curvy women.
That does make a lot of sense. Recently, my kid sister kind of bloomed. She's short, but has this Kim Kardashian look about her. Boobs, butt, curves. What's humorous to me is: I'm more upset about her growing up than my parents. And I believe I've scared off a few of her would be preteen suiters. Lmao. But yeah, nothing wrong with how you are.
You said that very well. And I agree to a certain point. I hate that double standard thinking where you have to have curves whilst still being skinny.
I have always had a small frame and have always been underweight since the day I was born. Before I even knew the definition of eating disorders, I would always hear adults around me saying that I never ate or how to make me eat. For a while I assumed it was just because of my small frame so I thought nothing of it, and tried to eat as much as I could. Even that didn't help, I sitll got the same remarks. After a while I started liking those remarks because they 'defined' me.
So I choose to be skinny now, for me I find I function better. I won't ever have the curves though and definately not in the right places. It's like you pick one of the other. Having the best of both worlds is way too hard to achieve.
Yeah, I know what you mean. Not all women have perfect hourglass proportions. Some women *can't* have curves in the "right" places without becoming overweight. Although we have a good deal of control over how much fat vs. muscle we have, we have virtually no control over how that is spread around. It's a kind of depressing fact sometimes. :-|
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - what she said
that model is gorgeous! And i bet you are too :o)
I agree with this. We really need to just push for women to be healthy, no matter what size or shape. We are all beautiful in our own right no matter what, it's just better for us if we are healthy.
Wow, I am pleasantly surprised by the feedback I have gotten on this post. Thanks so much, everyone.
For quite some time, I've tried to explain my argument to other people, and especially to many commenters on blogs, but I've been unable to get a word in edgewise and I am very appreciative to have people reading this who finally actually understand what I've been meaning to say.
To be honest I have actually never thought about it like that. You are so right. I struggle everyday tyring to love my body for what it is. I am not thin nor am I fat, but I have no curves at all so I am constantly being harsh on myself for that and I am always tyring to starve myself hoping I would get those curves men like.
I completely know where you're coming from. I'm a bit thicker, and would like to be skinnier but at the same time I don't want to lose my boobs and ass. I think its important not to think about what men want and love yourself completely first. Who gives a shit what men want! Its OUR bodies.
@courtneyabigail@xanga - This is why I don't eat solid foods for days at a time as well. I think that if I get to be thin enough that I can "build from scratch", or at least not be fat.
I understand that eliminating solid food for a period of time and calorie restriction may be unhealthy, but in a sense, I've begun to enjoy doing it. I've always been prone to extremes, and refusing cravings makes me feel as though I'm somehow in control. I think that if I become thin enough, I can just re-attempt to gain weight in the more appropriate areas, and sometimes I even just want to make a social statement. Other times, I just consider cosmetic surgery and how to find a reliable means and resource of doing so.
I'm certainly not trying to glamorize these measures to which I resort, and I honestly don't ever wish anyone to ever feel as insecure as I do currently...but I want to get as many people as I can to understand my ideas.
@Coke0@xanga - Thanks for the inspirational words...I know that it's foolish to care so much what men may think about my body, but I'm 21 and have no experience with dating or sex at all. Some of my peers have made some very emotionally harmful and/or underhanded comments about how very few men would consider me attractive, and I can't say it doesn't bother me. I'd like to say that it doesn't, but I'm beginning to wonder if everything they've told me may be true.
it's funny how we all want what we don't have... i'm naturrally like these women you describe, the jessica rabbit type and I started dieting to loose all the curves. developed an eating disorder in the end...
@AirFever@xanga - Well, AirFever, I just would like to let you know that I, by any means, am attacking you for your body type, or anyone else's for that matter. I'm sorry that you felt the need to resort to an eating disorder to feel accepted, and I hope that you overcome your insecurity. It's much easier to be said than done, but no-one deserves to feel unaccepted for something over which they have no control, and that there is nothing wrong with to boot.
Ultimately, any culture can include such assholes, who act as though they are never satisfied, as if they're in such a position that they're the supreme authority on what's beautiful and what isn't.
Good luck, though. Seriously.