Sunday, 15 November 2009
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I Have a Hard Time Accepting Compliments
I hear it all the time: "Oh, why can't you just take a compliment?" and "Why do you have to be so difficult?"
My inability to accept compliments is not a product of a lack of confidence. Everyone naturally assumes that when I question the accuracy of a comment that I'm trying to say it's false. That's incorrect.
I question when people praise me because I'm a skeptic.
People tend to lie or exaggerate for various reasons, so I don't naively believe anyone about anything. I know I'm decent looking, I'm not blind. I understand that I'm not morbidly obese, have some muscle, have nice eyes, decent lips, athletic shoulders and so on. I know I'm not ugly. I can actually be quite vain.
However, I don't believe that other people see that in me.
When I'm doubtful of a compliment, it's usually not because I don't believe it about myself, it's because I don't think it's truly meant.
What about you? Can you accept a compliment? Do you have good self image?
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About the Author
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- From: breaking_expectations@xanga
- Name: Gloria
- About Me: je ne sais pas. Hi, I'm Gloria. I'm short and and an over-achiever. I'm slightly twisted, but generally an interesting person. (GW:100)
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Comments (81)
I have a terrible self-image. People's compliments embarrass the hell out of me.
I haven't been able to accept a compliment in years.
Totally on the same wavelength as you.
Also my mother is asian and insults. Only. Compliments in my household are..HAHAH, never. Yeah.
Dear?
Yes you do lack confidence.
I'm pretty bad at accepting compliments. I never know what to say, and it always ends awkward.
accepting compliments sometimes makes other people think you're vain and self-absorbed.
modesty ftw?
I know what you mean, its hard to know when people are telling the truth!! So yeah, I hate compliments..
I'd say it's being modest, for me at least. I can usually graciously accept compliments.
i understand what you mean. people think i respond oddly to comments because i shrug and they think it's because i'm shy and modest without a ton of self-esteem. not that i'm complaining; that kind of impression is helpful sometimes. but it's just so not me, it's hilarious.
my self image is better than fine. it's probably just as narcissistic as the rest of my generation, though i hope not. actually, i just don't like compliments because i feel an obligation to say something back but i usually can't find anything fast. i always see the negatives first and usually after one of those awkward 'you-just-complimented-me-but-i-didn't-know-what-to-say-back-so-you-kind-of-walked-away' i'll see something but it's too late >.<
I go overboard in trying to be humble. I've actually crossed to the other side and embraced self-deprecation. I don't think it's particularly detrimental, but unhealthy, most likely. I too am suspicious of everyone who compliments me.
Yeah, I never know what to say when someone compliments me, so I usually just thank them and then change the subject.
I have horrible self-confidence, and I have a hard time accepting compliments too. Ever since I was young, I've been taught to be humble, and to never let compliments get to my head. I haven't forgotten.
I reject compliments to the point where I convince myself that I'm the complete opposite. I can be very self-deprecating.
I suppose.. but whatever happened to just graciously accepting a compliment instead of looking for a deeper meaning? No matter what their motives are for complimenting you, they obviously didn't say it to strike you down.
I just feel like people who compliment people only do it to make the person feel better, like they THINK that that person WANTS the compliment so bad, that they give it to them. Honestly, I don't like compliments much.
@cornyonacob@xanga - That can be the case sometimes, I agree. But, if you just say "thank you that's such a nice thing to say" instead of something like "oh I know I'm perfect" then you can receive that confidence boost without coming off as snobbish.
compliments make me uncomfortable. what do you say afterwards? "thank you"? they're not saying it for the thanks...
i don't know. maybe i'm just insane.
I just smile and say thank you now. I used to suck at compliment accepting...after a while though, they build up and you feel better enough about yourself to think that perhaps they're true ^^
@fuzzi_mushroom@xanga - yeahhhhhhhhhhh i know what you are talking about man T_T asians. "why are you doing art? why dont you study math?" "why werent you an economics major? do accounting like me! you earn money!" "go study" etc i like your hobbes picture too :P
I hate compliments.
you don't think you are hot but just average. not a lack of self-esteem but learn to accept those compliments by saying thank you it means you appreciate them and then maybe you can believe they may be sincere. besides why would anyone waste their breath to compliment someone if they don't really mean it? You believe or think that other see in you, what you see in you and you don't see much in the mirror in the morning do you?
I can't accept a complement. I have horrible self image. I just posted about it. It's like... I don't associate myself with pictures that have been taken of me. It's odd and makes me feel even worse and more confused.
No and no. Compliments are pretty much wasted on me. No matter what someone says, if I don't believe it, I'll question it. And more often than not, I won't believe it. Just the way it goes. Having a sucky self image is... sucky :\
that is a sly roundabout way to compliment yourself with the, "I know I'm decent looking, I'm not blind. I understand that I'm not morbidly obese, have some muscle, have nice eyes, decent lips, athletic shoulders and so on." I can relate. I understand that I'm not a fatty with stomach rolls, have lean muscle, gorgeous eyes, luscious lips, perky you know whats and so on
I'll blush and shy away because I have a hard time accepting compliments.
i dont like compliments because i dont like people giving me a reason to get cocky. i know some people who are pretty over-confident and i never ever want to even have the excuse to get to that level.
normally i just say thanks but still am embarrased