Monday, 09 November 2009
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Your Mother is Right About One Thing
Who didn’t want to change something when they were a kid/teenager? “My nose is too wide”,“I feel so fat”,“I hate being so short”,“I want boobs damn it!”,“Why can’t I be popular like Joe & Jane?”
I bet you guys rolled your eyes when your mother told you that you would change as you got older & had to listen to her story, right? If you did, I bet a few of you owe you mom an apology. LOL I’m serious! I used to think that too. I used to often say when I’m in my 20s, I would change a lot with surgery or other quick fixes. Change happened on its own.
When I graduated high school, I was 17 going on 18, 5 feet 7 inches tall, I was heavy (by my own admission), I had a chubby face with a fat button nose and my outcast nature was impossible to deal with. I thought I would be that way forever since I had issues as a kid with weight & meeting people.
Now I’m 23, I’m FOUR sizes smaller (from 16 to 10/12), I’m 2 1/2 inches taller and as I lost the weight, my face thinned out & my nose doesn’t look bad. I didn’t do surgery or crazy diet pills or anything. I did it all myself with hard work & lifestyle changes. I’m honestly happier in my 20s than I was as a teenager. This is one time I will honestly say my mother was right.
Thinking back on it, it all makes sense. As a teenager, you’re going through crazy hormonal changes, your body is still developing & you’re making decisions you never had to worry about as a kid. The pressure is tremendous and body image seems to become a priority when you compare yourself to those around you. Once I stopped worrying about it, time and patience straightened things out. I’m glad for a lot of reasons, especially since I don’t have to spend money on cosmetic surgery. I lost the weight for health reasons. I could care less about bikinis and mini skirts but I did mind being able to run without being in the back short of breath & worry about health problems down the road.
I don’t feel so bad being the late bloomer anymore. I may have been a bit behind developing physically and it made me a loner but I’m glad. I look and see how crazy my classmates got with their fast developments and popularity based on how they looked instead of who they were and they like it at the time. I noticed and appreciated the value of being liked for my mind and personality than what kind of figure I had back then and now. As adults now, many not quite happy about how they acted in high school and college. In the years since high school, I’ve actually befriended former tormentors because they grew out of their vanity and teasing ways and actually apologized to me for how they picked on me. I let it go because holding grudges doesn’t do anything but hurt you. It’s actually nice to sit back and remember the good times as a kid and reconnect as you get older. In a way, it shows how much of an impact I made on them back then if they took the time to find me, send me messages and ask to be friends.
To all the late bloomers out there, don’t feel ashamed of yourselves. You’re not the only ones out there to feel like the odd duck in a lake full of swans. Sometimes the flower that opens last is the most beautiful & is admired the most by others. A lot of famous actors, philosophers & leaders were considered “odd” before they got the last laugh.
Are any of you guys former Late Bloomers? How did you cope with it? What’s changed for you since then?
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Comments (71)
well, my chest size is a LOT smaller than my mothers. and both of my grandmothers.
so i'm assuming that those will come in more when i get older. which is fine by me, i don't mind my chest size one bit.
everything else is pretty much in check though haha
I was definitely an early bloomer. But like, I figure my face and body will mature a little bit and then I'll be good, you know?
That's definitely me too! When puberty hit, I took on a heavy weight gain and was quite depressed. At 14, I was chunky, pimply, had ugly glasses and nothing went together. Small eyes, big bushy hair, thin lips, tiny ears, and a small face on a big jaw. My friend told me, "Give it some time. When your figure fills out, you'll be even more beautiful than your sister [who was a bombshell by most standards]."
I wouldn't say that of myself now, far from bombshell-dom, but I feel like the teenage years have plopped my adult features in a messy pile and only now are they starting to assemble into facial coherence.
not only do you physically grow and learn to accept yourself as you get older, but others learn to accept you as well.
Totally a late bloomer.
I was 5'10" and like 120 pounds in 6th grade. Meaning I looked like an alien, with a large head, long, lanky arms and legs, and I could barely figure out how to move my own body.
Looks? Hideous, in my opinion. Braces, weird center parted hair with the long bangs.
I don't think I really bloomed until college even. I think it was then when the testosterone really kicked in, and I started getting umm... flexy. To this day though, my mother still tells me I look like a girl. WTH, seriously.
Oh god, high school, so bad. D: Same height as I am now, but about fifty pounds heavier in some parts. Bad face. Bad hair. Bad everything. Bad bad bad.
I'd say I'm still in bloom. xD I'm a helluva lot better than high school, but I feel like I still haven't really reached prime Lacey time. Maybe once I hit mid 20s I'll reach it.
I hated being in middle school. All the girls in my class were prettier, skinnier, and in my mind, perfect, while I was awkward, shy, and unattractive. I was stuck being alone for most of the time because, well, who would hang out with me, when everyone else seemed so much better and more interesting? When I got into high school, I decided I would leave that all behind and start accepting myself and being more open to people. I became a lot less awkward, and I was still shy, but not to the point where I couldn't make friends. I started having conversations with people when I normally wouldn't. And honestly, I think I look a hell of a lot better than I did back in middle school. Haha. I think a part of that was learning to actually like myself. I feel so much better about being myself now. It took a few years, but at least I got there.
I never complained about things like that, though, so my mom never really told me that everything would fall into place when I am older. But they have started to, so I'm happy. :)
@live_for_love@xanga - Dear, you look wonderful now -- and I know you'll just continue to become even more beautiful as the years come <3.
i'm mid-blooming ? haha i guess i'm somewhat a late bloomer. when i was in elementry school i had small eyes a huge flat nose and big lips. but my features started to " form " or even out during the summer before high school. my eyes arnt squinty , my nose is actuall pretty high , lips still the same but i like them (: . my mom says that i've grown and " blossomed " and i totally agree .
@chow@ireallylikefood - <33 And you're a cutiepie that def doesn't look like a girl
Mm I guess you could say I am, but I'm not entirely sure, to be honest xD I mean, I'm fairly skinny right now and stuff since I, too, changed my unhealthy habits but I have no chest ^_^ maybe it's because I'm small and I don't eat a lot of fatty foods. Or because no one in my -direct- family really has large boobs.
Darn... ahaha :P
@goblinsinthemirror@xanga - I wish I knew that 10 years ago you know? LOL. Better late than never. I always make sure to tell my nieces how sweet & beautiful they are inside & out & never let those kids at school bother them. I wish I had that when I was their ages.
@live_for_love@xanga - I swear it all happened for me after 20. One day I woke up, looked in the mirror & went "DAMN! when was that like this?!" or people would tell me they noticed a change & I would pick up on it. all those science books that say you reach maturity between ages 16-18 are totally wrong. I stopped for a while my least 2 years of high school & then after I turned 20, all this stuff happened & I'm who I am now.
@chow@ireallylikefood - WOW! 5'20 in SIXTH grade? how tall are you now? I bet you broke the 6 foot mark years ago! I wish I knew you in 6th grade. I was taller than all the boys...didnt help me. XD
@live_for_love@xanga - I think that one guy that eyed me down in the loading dock might have thought so. Until I got out of the truck, then omgwtf poof. XD
I had cystic acne and was overly thin when I was young. My face was very gaunt because of how skinny I was. But my sophomore year of college I really grew up. Like I learned to accept things I hated, like my freckles. I embraced my shape and imperfections. I think me embracing these things made me more beautiful, not so much that I got physically more attractive. I also grew out of the cystic acne...THANK GOD.
@IntheGoldenWest@xanga - I'm glad you came out of your shell! I used to be a turtle & I still am but not like I used to be. I always tell people to not force someone to go out, they have to do it on their own or what would be the point? They wont go unless someone is with them.
I think middle school is the most difficult because as a kid, you dont give a damn but as you become a teenager, your interests change & people start figuring out what they want to be & things get cliquey as I call it. In High school you're closer to an adult & you go back to not giving a damn & you branch out.
@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - Ohhh I'm only 6'1"-ish right now, I didn't keep growing vertically. I wish I kept going until about 6'4" though.
I went from 120 to 205 though haha. Lifting weights, training in a Muay Thai gym, and playing Football does that, I think. I was actually walking around near 220 at one point, but I've leaned down to the point where I can fight in a 170 or 175 weight class now.
And it was so weird being the odd tall kid in school. The only other guy taller than me in my class ended up in the NBA haha. And there was one other girl who was my height, this swedish girl who was so incredibly hot. XD
How tall were you then? I swear all the girls were like 4'6" or something then.
@kvdubs@xanga - Accepting yourself is the first step. That's what changed me too. No one can love you if you dont love yourself. There's beauty in everyone but not everyone see it. If we all looked the same, the world would be dead ass boring, dont you agree? =D
@chow@ireallylikefood - I was always kinda taller than everyone. I was probably 5 feet tall by the time I got to 6th grade & I peaked at about 5'6 in high school (taller than my dad & sister! woo!). I didnt know I was 5'9 until I was 19 & I was 5'9 & a half when I was 22 going in for a check up. I hope I'm done growing by now. LMAO. I love being tall but damn...I must have been lucky in the gene pool lotto. My mom is 6 feet tall & my dad is like 5'5. My sister is 5'4.
Aw this blog made my heart smile (if that's possible). I'm a late bloomer and I still kinda am, but I can see my features changing since I'm losing weight through lots of exercise. I have to agree that the feeling you get inside is much more rewarding than your apparent weight loss. You get to feel much healthier.
As a teenager in high school I was so confused with myself. Inside and out. I didn't realize the important things in life and just wanted to look prettier for boys. I guess I didn't know who I was and I didn't know my purpose. Now, though I have more responsibilities, more hardships in my way but I have a purpose and a goal and I put myself first.
I guess part of blooming starts from the inside. You can't always force it on the outside until you achieve your happiness from within and then let it show =)
@Meowmeowkimmaee@xanga - I always wondered why for most girls we get a heavy weight gain as young teenagers & other parts grow faster than others. It seems cruel. Since I was tall AND chubby, mom had a hard time shopping for me. Isnt it sad I was a kid who could wear her mother's clothes & shop in the misses department? It's not bad now, atleast I can wear cute clothes that dont look old. LOL
For guys it just seems they get taller & their voices get deeper.
@ceekh@xanga - ::HUG:: I'm glad you like it. You're very right too, it starts from the inside. Once you get it that way, everything else falls into place. I posted this blog for younger people so they wouldnt look back & think badly of themselves as they get older. We dont know then what we do now, so I figured I'd write that down so they have a little heads up I wish I had gotten. Better late than never!
@chow@ireallylikefood - Oi, if the way you look NOW is still "like a girl", then I don't think a guy exists who would pass your mother's "manliness" standards! Judging from your profile pic anyhow.
I was definitely a late bloomer. People mistook me for a guy up until highschool (especially since my mom cut my hair short in the exact same way as my brothers'). Flat as a board, huge thick glasses, older brother's hand-me-down clothes, etc.
I like how I look now, so hopefully I've entered or am close to entering that Asian stasis period where you stop aging visibly for the next 30 years, hehe.
Whenever I start complaining about how ugly I was in middle school, my boyfriend always says "What good is looking hot when you're 12? Wouldn't you rather look hot when you're old enough to benefit from it?"
lol i'm still in that horrible phase.
Although, I can say I look totally better than I did in my tweeny ages... that was horrible.
I still want to grow taller, but apparently according to my doctor, it's not likely to happen. (and I finally reached the 5ft mark this year ><)
I'll give it some time~ hopefully it'll be over by the start of college. This post gave me some more patience for the future though n__n
i wasn't a late bloomer, but i did have a terribly awkward phase. mother never did anything to reassure me though.
My whole life I had been awkward and gawky looking, but as I got older I improved one step at a time. I had braces and glasses that seemed to always be crooked.. and people pointed it out too. I got contacts in 8th grade & was done fully with braces and retainer by around my sophomore year of high school. I also got my first hair straightener sophomore year.. my hair was always poofy and frizzy :( & by the end of sophomore year/summer before junior year I started to get more into makeup, and what do you know I found myself with my first real boyfriend at 16 :) & even my friends pointed out my awkwardness (which made me feel like crap) but then junior year they told me it was like "BAM!" I finally got something right haha.. I'm 18 now and still slowly improving :) either way, everyone is beautiful inside and out, it just takes some learning to enhance beauty.