Actually, I'm not really that against it. Well, just a tad bit.
Being around the opposite sex (women) for a long time, I've noticed a particular something that they tend to do a lot of. That is to gossip and share secrets with each other.
Now, I'm usually a very reasonable person and know that secrets are secrets - meaning they don't want to be shared with too many people. But there's a line.
On
numerous occasions, I've been isolated from the majority (I'm usually the only guy hanging out with 3 other girls) as the girls share their secrets. If we're walking around in the mall, they would go and huddle together and whisper to each other about something.
As basic human nature dictates, we're going to be interested in what other people are saying. Whether it's to find out if they're talking about you, or something you are related to...it's just that despicable entity we call curiosity. It's really not so much about being nosy.
If you're going to share secrets in front of someone, then at least invite them to listen too!
What do you think? Has this happened to you and what would/did you do?
Comments (30)
I'll give you a clue: typically it's about a boy (that's not you), a girl, a girl and a boy doing something they shouldn't, various forms of blood, or sex. Maybe something else, but doubtful.
That's just my opinion, of course.
If it's in front of you... it's about you.
maybe they are telling each other all about the cute guy that they see hanging out at the video game store but don't want to share it with you because you might be grossed out or jealous since it is about another guy.
It's understandable to be curious, but if it bothers you that much you should speak up to them and tell them so. If they don't take you seriously and continue to keep on doing it, then they really aren't the kind of friends you want to hang out with anyway. :)
In support of you I think it is rude behavior if its a habit, which it obviously is. You should ask yourself are they Good friends, cuz friends dont want their friends to feel left out of the loop.
Here's a simple solution- Ask them to discreetly go to the ladies room if they want to share secrets (if you're the only guy hanging out with them, then it works!).
They could easily talk about whatever they want to talk about when they are not in your presence, but they choose to do so in your presence, which does signify a problem (perhaps their Immaturity, or they think you're a blabber mouth).
I agree that behavior is rude. If you have something to say to someone else in your group, you should wait until later when you're alone or discreetly excuse yourselves. Since it bothers you, speak up but not in a confrontational way.
I dont think they're intentionally being rude to you though, so please dont take it the wrong way. I think sometimes we all get caught up in something & want to whisper it to others & forget we're a group.
That's pretty annoying.
Lol. They're probably just scared that you might be disgusted... Or they might just believe that you don't care much for it...
Anyway if some people do that around me, I'd stop hanging out with them. I don't care if they'd invite me often.
lol, didnt you know? look on lovelyish, this is the type of stuff we talk about.
now talking about something in front of you and not telling you?
just because it's in front of you doesn't mean it's about you. it can be things like talking about another guy, 'girls things' or something that they just don't want you to know about, or
something you don't need to know about
"If you're going to share secrets in front of someone, then at least invite them to listen too!"
wrong. you know that secrets are secrets, sure you might not say anything, when it's a secret, the less people who know about it, the better
@sophieenrawr@xanga - So, you don't mind a bunch of your best friends go off into a corner and ignore you completely just to whisper something for half an hour?
Okay, well then you deserve to be a saint in my book...if that's the case.
i'm glad you pointed this out, because this bothers me too.
I mean, i understand to an extent, but it just gets really frustrating after a while.
they should respect you enough to not do it in front of u thats what i think
x
It bothers me to a great extent too even I'm a girl.
its so rude. the audacity of some people...
Lil_Dude433@xanga - im not saying that you shouldnt mind them doing that, but there are things that not everyone needs to know.
What if they are talking about girls stuff? do you expect them to apologize to you and say "oh yea, im sorry we were just talking
about bra sizes"
If they were talking about guys or you, i'd agree it is rude. you asked what i'd do and what i think. i said i think they might be talking about things you dont need to know about, i didnt say i wouldnt mind if it happened to me
and if you are really frustrated by this, ask what they're talking about, if they say "it's nothing" then theres nothing to do besides ignore or stop hanging with them and if they do tell then they'd just think you dont need to know.
I have been in your situation, although i don't talk about it in front of others, there is something going on that only a few people know about, and only we should know about it,
we don't tell any 'best friends' because its a matter of privacy to the two people of cause.
one constantly pokes or drags one of us until we leave whoever we're talking to, completely ignoring theres someone there, just to talk about this one thing.
when everyone asks what it is, we cant tell
the two people of cause is me and the person who pokes. orginally only another person knew about our story, and what has happned between us. two more people got involved.
now we dont and wont tell anyone else because they should not know this secret just because they are a friend
I can see how that is annoying. Maybe if they warned you first? Like... oh, we're gonna talk about girl stuff (like periods and bras). Those kinds of things are things that I can't ever see most boys being able to handle in the first place.
That just sounds a bit rude to me, they should either include you or wait until you leave to do something (bathroom, shop alone in one store, go home, etc).
That is so annoying and immature, hasn't happened to me since like, the eighth grade...
it's rude. I read one of your comments where you said they do for up to half an hour, that's plain ridiculous. If they are really your good friends bring it up to them. Tell them in a nice and polite way that it makes you feel left out when they do it. If they want to do girl talk, they should do it when you are not around
With girls, that happens all the time. I just say very loudly "If you're not gonna share, don't say it!"
its def about something they they'd find embarrassing saying in front of you.
i dont have much girl fdz, so i guess i m okay - but i do have to admit..keeping a secret is kind of hard
You might not want to hear about it. Maybe one of the girls just got her period or something like that. Maybe it's something gross they don't want boys to hear. It might not be about you, just something that is girly.
@XoAsianBabioX@xanga - Exactly what I was about to say.
That's really rude for that situation. If a GROUP is out then the activities shoudl be done as a GROUP. Sheesh.
I find sharing secrets in front of someone to be rude unless you include them. If you don't want to include them then share the secrets when they aren't around.