Saturday, 26 September 2009
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My Family Won't Stop Making Fun of My Breast Size!
We're all told real beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. And it's something that I do believe. Nevertheless, I have always fretted about my small chest. None of my relatives are very ample in this department either. I'm a 32 B (kind of towards the smaller side...), and being 5'9... well, I may as well be flat.
I'm a lucky girl as far as genetics go otherwise. I'm a thin build, tall, big eyes, naturally clear(-ish) skin, a defined waist (without overly large hips), and I don't gain weight. ever.
But despite all my gifts, I simply can't get over my lack of curves up top! I've always been sensitive to it, especially since all of my friends are much curvier than I've ever been. I can't tell you how many times I used to be mistaken for a boy when I was playing soccer! (I grew my hair out specifically so I'd quit being mistaken.) I worry about looking like a boy constantly. I don't own any regular day bras that aren't push up bras or otherwise enhancing (sports bras are obviously the exception). I would die to have one cup size larger- Just enough so that I actually FEEL like I appear to be a girl. Despite my dire wish, there is no way on EARTH that I could go under the knife to fix this. It's out of the question for many, many reasons (which I won't go into on here.)
As for my body image, the comments from my dad don't usually help.
The first comment I remember was when I was in 9th grade. I was about to be confirmed, and for the occasion I had purchased a strapless dress. I needed a strapless bra to go underneath, and the only one I could find at the time was a push up bra that had water inserts to add in to "amplify your cleavage." I was desperate to find a bra, so I went with it anyways, and my confirmation day I came to regret it. My dad had been poking jokes about my "water bra," but at the time they were in the privacy of my own family and home. I did my best to brush them off, since I wasn't even concerned about my figure, so it wasn't a big deal. But at my confirmation open house, with my relatives taking family pictures, my dad goes "She looks so much more mature with that water bra of hers, huh?"
I thought I was going to die.
I laughed it off (though I was secretly FUMING!) because we had company and I didn't want to cause any drama. But every single time I look in the mirror, I can't push that memory out of my mind.
More recently, I was playing in a soccer game when a ball went flying into my chest. I wasn't winded, since I was used to it, but it was a very hard shot and it hurt! My dad, being the coach (this was summer league), was sitting on the sidelines with some of the girls on our team who were not playing at the time. He turned to them and joked "ouch! that must have deflated the girls... OH WAIT. she doesn't have any!" The girls were all shocked, but thought it was funny at the same time. I can handle the comments much better when my "flaws" aren't pointed out to other people. When they are, despite all the work I put into everything I do, I still simply don't feel good enough. It's like I just don't quite meet everyone's standards.
And just tonight, I was warming up for our game when my sports bra strap broke. I ran home quick (I live 2 blocks away from the fields we play on) to change, and when I came back my dad was waiting for me to loosen up my IT Band (i have an overuse injury that I have to make sure and take care of so I don't tear my IT band.) He had heard why I went home to change, and as soon as I arrived, with the school coach AND my teammates RIGHT THERE, he goes "You know, you don't have enough on top to even need a sports bra."
1)Yes I do. I'm not THAT flat.
2)We have white jerseys. It was on and off raining. I'm not taking that chance.
3)LEAVE MY BOOBS ALONE, DANG IT!My coach almost burst a vein laughing so hard. The other girls, knowing my dad well, thought it was funny. I had to fight tears and try to make it unnoticeable.
My dad is known for being a comedian; we have a good relationship despite his comments on my body. Everyone pretty much loves my dad. But I HATE when he does this! I'm a senior in high school now, can we just let me learn to accept myself?! It's humiliating, and I'm sick of it.
Okay Lovelies, question time: Have you ever had your family poke fun at your figure- especially things you can't change? And what are your biggest insecurities?
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About the Author
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- From: bass_chick57
- Name: Emily-Anne
- About Me: I laugh at the stupidest things. I looove my coffee. and food in general. I'm pretty easy-going. I'm a music geek. Enough said. I'm excited about life in general... I'm a little ADHD, all the time. I play soccer. A lot. I'm a goof, looking for my ball. I love my friends! :)
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Comments (143)
wow...tell your dad to lay off the boob jokes.
and don't worry about it, 32B is a good size. it sounds like it suites your body type quite well.
I'd be mortified if my dad joked about my breasts even though I am 34. My mom teases me but that is b/c I used to want to be the same size she is.
Your cup size suits your frame.
wow that's so awful! 32B isn't even small, imo.
i hate "jokes" that are actually mean. it's like you're not allowed to show that you're really upset about it. ):
try being a 32AA...you can't even find wire bras my size
32B is a good size
and smack him next time
my girlfriend's family always makes fun of her 34B's... i love em tbh.
Wow... that's so mean. Your cup size is fine.
there's nothing wrong with a b cup. tell him to lay off. he's your dad, he should listen to you.
Girl, I am so sorry you have to deal with that. I have the opposite boob problem, but my sister is like you. I don't think that anyone has a right to talk about anyone else's boobs (well, except maybe celebrities... but that's more of a "her boobs look good in that dress, etc.), especially not in a derogatory way like that. And you're athletic from what your post says - it's BETTER to have smaller boobs in that case. I hated going to PE in late middle school and early high school because of mine. But you know, I think your boobs probably suit you. Just be happy with who you are.
That's sad your own father would do that to you. I know how you feel, my dad would critique everything about me to the point I hated him & didnt want to do anything. In fact when mom & I moved after they seperated, I wouldnt call him or anything then all of a sudden he would call often & send presents. I talked to him more in the years after than when I was at home. Mom called it guilt for all the shit he did.
Going back to your issue, if anyone says something that makes you uncomfortable, it's harrassment. I would tell your dad that. Jokes are supposed to be funny but when someone talks about something that knowingly makes people uncomfortable, it's MALICIOUS. Not only that, he's making self esteem issues that will affect you for years if not your whole life. I'm JUST NOW letting things go after so long & it's the best thing I ever did. You still have time to nip your problem in the bud & stand up for yourself.
I'd be so embarrassed if my family made any sort of comment on my boobs at home, let alone in public. Ask him to stop, that's really rotten to do to you, especially in front of everyone else. As for your cup size, I think a B cup is perfect!
small breasts on a tall skinny girl looks good as long as you know how to dress yourself. ive seen those people and they look really good wearing a tube top with a sweater/jacket =D
Stop complaining, be happy with what you have, ignore them. So annoying.
no offence, but i don't thiink your dad was right .. you should tell him about how you feel .. think about it .. he kind of bullied you .. :/ btw , 32B isn't that small . seriously . a lot of models don't have big boobs , so whatever.
When I was younger, about 14, my butt and boobs grew before anything else, haha. My boobs went unnoticed, but I got plenty of comments about my butt. Usually they didn't bother me (and complimentary as well), but for some reason, if my dad said anything even half-joking, it hurt my feelings. Dad and daughter relationships can be tender, so I get where you're coming from.
Tell him stop poking fun at them so much...
I'd find it weird and really annoying if my dad kept on poking fun at my boobs. By the way, I'm also a 32B, and there is nothing wrong with being that size. Just be happy, dont care for what others think.
I am a 32b slowly losing my umph as my little one is suckling....making me even smaller.....I can now bearly find any bras that actually fit right bc one of my boobs is an actual 32 and the other is smaller............ so hey love yourself and not all the guys like curvy tops......
My sister and mom are like that. I'm a 32/34 A, and 5'7. So I am flat. I'm severly self concious about it, and like you, my family pokes jokes all the time. Its annoying, and rude.
I hate to burst all the bubbles with the "Just tell him it annoys you" crowd, but more of than not that won't help. In fact, if he's anything like my brother in law who makes fun of my ass, it'll just make it worse. AND he'll make fun of you for being a "pussy" about it.
The only thing I can tell you to do is just ignore him and know you're perfectly fine the way you are. Or throw out a "fuck you" and see if that helps. Probably not, but worth a shot.
I've got the same issue, except I'm built in the opposite direction: 5'8" and barely 120 lbs, with 32DD's and no hips or butt to balance them out. My grandmother loves to compare them to various fruits (at the dinner table, Thanksgiving of course) and my father makes fun of both myself and my youngest sister about our cleavage. I don't really have any advice for you, other than to ignore it or tell him to STFU. Sorry
You should talk with your dad...maybe he doesn't realize how is comments are hurting you. And like the others have said- 32B is a great size! You won't have to worry about back problems later on and they won't seem to sag when you are older.
You should really have a talk with your father. He probably doesn't know how much it hurts you. Maybe have your mom or a sibling point it out to him that you take it personally when he makes fun of your chest.
Besides that, having small boobs isn't that much of a problem. First off, you're a B, so you're NOT flat. Plus a lot of my guy friends like smaller boobs. They say that "more than a mouthful is just a waste". Plus, smaller boobs go along with a slender body, and some men like it just for that reason. Don't be afraid to wear push up bras if they give you confidence. I asked some guy friends if they are ever disappointed when they find out what they thought was a great looking rack was really just a bra, and they said that it's never a problem: the push up bra may help draw the guy in, and when they find out it's a bra (when he takes it off) it doesn't matter at that point because they already like you! Large breasts can actually be a bad thing: it's harder to find bras that fit you well and give enough support. Because of that they're more expensive. Large breasts can hurt during exercise - my mom's a DD and she wears 2 sports bras and a spandex tank top and they still bother her. Smaller boobs are perkier. You'll never sag - of that I am jealous. And lastly, large breasts can cause back problems and bad posture if they're too large. So enjoy your 32B's!! They're awesome!!
Oh no! Im beautiful and thin and I have a dad that goes to my games and is funny also! Wow, you need to get over yourself.
I suggest a few of these lines:
- "At least I don't have a tire/flotation device around my waist"
- "Well, my boyfriend loves them!"
- "Is that an airport on your head? Oh okay, you're just balding".
- "Hey, mom told me you're going to need some Viagra soon".
Men generally don't understand the "stop it because it hurts" comments. My father is the exact same way about my body as well. A good "fuck you" made him shut up about it.
(32B is NOT flat, btw).
start making comments about his penis in front of other people. maybe he will take a hint.
i feel your pain- i'm a 34A and 5'6. But hey, when we are 50 years old, our girls will be (somewhat) perky while other people's are saggy. look forward to that... i guess.
i just focus on toning my butt now. try that- it makes you feel nice.
not poked fun at, but i have been called fat quite a few times by my mom.