A trend I've encountered in college: guys take the whole "bros before hos" thing very, very seriously. Of course, the message inherent in this mantra is reasonable: your friends should come before your romantic interests, your hookups, or your conquests (depending on how you approach your romantic life, naturally). But are we girls really the same way? Sure, we have rules about not dating exes, but I'm not sure they're for the same reasons. Is women law as powerful as the oft-cited man law?
On the hos before bros note, one of my friends hypothesized that girls don't date each others' exes because
they know way too much about them, and I have to say, it's a funny idea. Especially in a messy relationship, I find myself telling my best friends about every last text message, strange glance, or cryptic statement. It may not be fair, but they've become storehouses of embarrassing information pertaining to them, so it's practically impossible for them to build a relationship—even a friendship—past that point.
But, if that wasn't the case, would you consider dating one of your friends' exes? And do you generally put your romantic life before "girl time"? For me, I think I'd have to put my romantic life first every now and then, mostly because I know that my friends will always be there, even though girl time is always all sorts of awesome. But I have plenty of guy friends who would choose guys night out (or in) over practically anything else.
In fact, guys generally have a lot more "rules" than we do, about wingmen when picking up chicks, about not "cockblocking," and who knows what. As for us, we never go to the bathroom alone and like to account for all of our friends when we leave a party, but generally, I feel like women leave much more to chance.
I'm interested to hear what you think: do you believe in hos before bros? How important are your friends in relation to your SO or the people you are dating? What other sorts of "girl laws" do you adhere to?
Comments (51)
Excuse me?
HOES before bros?
This would assume that you are a Ho, which I hope you are not.
I hope you regard yourself with more dignity than that.
With men, at least the honorable ones, it's a thing of mutual respect to one another. Yes, we may seem like cavemen a lot of times, but at least for the ones who are respectable men, we do have a code of conduct in our behavior.
BTW, any guy who refers to a woman as a Ho is worth less than what he is inferring himself.
The correct term is chicks before dicks. =)
@mudkiwi@xanga - yep
yeah its chicks before dicks. I don't like to call my friends hoes. And I've gone against the chicks before dicks thing. At times it was a stupid idea and at other it wasn't.
@mudkiwi@xanga -
Yeh, that's what I thought.
I really, really, really hate this term, in both forms. I also dislike the idea that you have to put one before the other at all times. Bugh.
Chicks before dicks.
It's "chicks before dicks," dumb bitch.
I wouldn't really know, because my only close female friend is my sister. I have a bunch of male friends.
I put chicks before dicks, but most women don't.
Women in general seem to get more wrapped up in relationships and guys more than the other way around. It's annoying in my opinion- you say your friends will always be there, but not if you drop out of their life every time you get a new play thing. And no, I would never date a friend's ex, but not for the reason you stated. For me, it's more like I wouldn't want their leftovers.
@mudkiwi@xanga - I agree.
I follow the age old saying: "Boyfriends come & go, but friends are forever". It may not be 100% right but I say "friends" instead of girl friends because I do have guyfriends. =D I'm being PC here...lol
"Friends" mean nothing to me so are boys. *-)
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - wow, that was unnecessarily mean!
chicks before dicks! ^^ def! :)
@Jessica - thank you.
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - Haha, wow! I thought some younger readers might be uncomfortable with the term "dicks" in the headline, let alone thrown around in the post a bunch of times, but I guess the point of the comments is that "hoes" is equally demeaning. Oh, well!
@cristeen - Hos, not hoes.
i get the play on words, but i wouldn't call my girl friends "hoes." i wouldn't refer to the guys i date as "dicks" either, so i guess i'm just not a fan of those slogans.
Good friends first. Boy or girl, I don't care.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - Agreed.
But, semantics aside, I think this is interesting. I guess I don't have that active of a romantic life, because I'd probably ditch the girls a few times if I met a couple of interesting guys. When opportunity knocks, it usually doesn't stay there all day!
Nope, I have no real female friends to put first.
@mudkiwi@xanga - Thank you for clarifying this. I saw this post's title and was like, "WTF?" Do better, Lovelyish.
UMMM I LEARNED CHICKS BEFORE DICKS AND UH I AIN'T A HOE... 'CUZ I AIN'T A GARDEN TOOL! I WOULD NEVER PUT A GUY BEFORE MY FRIENDS OR FAMILY EVER AGAIN... YES YOU ARE RIGHT YOUR FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE BUT FOR HOW LONG WOULD THEY PUT UP WITH YOUR EXCUSES BECAUSE YOUR S.O. WANTS TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU ON YOUR GIRL TIME? MY EX ISOLATED ME FROM MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY AND THEY DIDN'T TALK TO ME TILL I BROKE UP WITH HIM... IF YOU'RE GONNA PUT YOUR S.O. FIRST YOU MUST BE INSECURE AND SCARED YOU MIGHT LOSE HIM BECAUSE YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT SCARED TO LOSE YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY... AND NO I DON'T DO THE SLOPPY SECONDS AND MY FRIENDS AND I HAVE ALL DIFFERENT TASTES IN GUYS AND NEVER ONCE HAVE I LOOKED AT ANY OF THEIR EXES AND VICE VERSA
It's bros before hoe's... And chics before dicks...
Girls don't or should call themselves hoe's....
CHICKS BEFORE DICKS