As I stand in front of my mirror, I ask myself, “is this too much?” Is there sort of a blurred boundary in our society that suggest it to be taboo for a woman to “use what she’s got”? I mean, you could argue from both sides, but after reading
this article by Nancy Hass, I feel confident more than ever that as a woman, you should never settle: "You have to ask yourself how much your sexuality is integral to your very being. And you have to be willing to take the blows if being true to that hold you back in your career."
This past semester I studied the male gaze. Everything in movies, films, and media, for example, is from the perspective of a male staring at the woman, “males see while females are meant to be seen.” Many theorists and experts, such as Laura Mulvey would argue this point, and say that this notion is also prevalent in all our surrounding advertisements. I sometimes wonder if for some women the idea of women being subjected to a male gaze develops into a sort of an empowerment, an authorization because
“as long as sexuality is an organic by-product of self confidence, not the other way around, it may be a force for good, out lasting youth and its accompanying self-doubt and inexperience.” “Obviously there remain a few clear boundaries: It’s tacky to flash cleavage at work and sleeping your way to the top is demeaning and fraught with peril. But in an era when displaying femininity is no longer automatically dismissed as a sign of weakness, surely that’s not all there is to say.”
What do you think about this article? What's your take on sexual power?
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Comments (18)
Only problem is that your superior might expect more than you're willing to give....
I suppose if that's all a woman has going for her, she's gotta use what she's got.
I don't think it's an abusive characteristic if you keep in mind the moral ramifications of the female advantage. Using your sexuality to help you get ahead might backfire if you're expected to use that sexuality when it's unnecessary or excessive.
i think it's very wrong to use sex as a tool of manipulation.
This is something I have seen backfire for a lot of girls. Most of them end up getting pregnant doing this and really mess their lives up thinking that putting out will "empower" them. Thankfully I have not seen worse outcomes than pregnancy.
I think that it can be useful in the right situation as long as you know that it doesn't get you the best kind of respect. If you can get what you want and still be happy with yourself, go for it.
And the kind of person this kind of manipulation works on is the shallowest and most manipulative kind of person. Is it really worth lowering your self-respect to get a false sense of respect from someone who rewards appearance and sexual prowess?
If you can maintain a certain level of class to get what you want and know how to do it without lowering yourself and getting things the "easy" way you can live your life guilt-free and with a lot more friends and less enemies.
@MissPixieGlitter@xanga - I agree with what you said.
Sex is supposed to be fun and (in my opinion) a way to express your love to your significant other (and ONLY your significant other). Sex as a means of gaining power and manipulating others destroys anything that is special about it; but I suppose if that woman cares more about money and reputation (which behind closed doors will be shredded) then sex loosing it's meaning is merely her loss.
Wrong.
No thanks.
I dont think I will ever use my body, to get something
i just feel disgusted thinking about it.
why do women always have to look put together? and some of us fall for people who don't give a damn about their appearance. :/
I think that the question of this article is not about actually having sex, it's about using your sexuality to draw attention to yourself and your ability. Anyway, the power of sex is in the enticement, the possibility, the thought of it. Once you give it up, the power is gone. I think the question is - should a woman use this asset, this weapon, that she has at her disposal, to compete in the workplace. And if a person is serious about their success, can you blame them for taking advantage of any edge they might have?
Some people have charisma while others have the power of observation. Everyone can become physically strong or have a six pack. Some people just have "it" whether it be eyes, legs, perfectly angled face, breasts, hips, or a combination of everything. Work with what you got.
And remember that for those lacking moral fiber its not lying it's flirting.
There is a difference between looking sexy and actually having sex. Just saying.
I like it. It makes me feel powerful when a guy can't stop staring at me when I walk past him.
i agree with you. i don't see anything wrong with using an innate sexuality to wield power over our male counterparts ;D
to all that oppose, think of it this way: many of you support the idea of women being self-confident and happy with how she looks. if she's happy on the inside, she's automatically gorgeous. why would you want her to tone down the happiness she feels for her body just because she's at a job interview?
@valleyguru@xanga - Exactly! People don't get the point.
I think that our sexuality or "girl power" is an integral part of who we are. I refuse to deny part of who I am. I don't dress provocatively in order to get jobs but I do like to look nice for my clients. I'm an excellent caterer, I'm also aware that there are jobs I have gotten that were based not only on my cooking skills but also on my appearance and I'm OK with that because I know in the end it's the food that will keep them coming back. The funny thing is that most of the time it is the women clients who prefer a "nice looking" catering staff to be serving their guests. Being a woman is one of my great joys. I like being female. I like the many perks of being me. Part of that is knowing where the lines are and keeping the proper walls up while not letting myself get lost in the shuffle it can be a delicate balance.
When I hear "sexual power" i think of sleeping with the boss to get a promotion. Which is completely wrong, kinniving and whorey
Redefine it for me?