Saturday, 03 January 2009
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Message To The Media: I Never Want to Be Thin...
Guest blog submitted by IXOYE_AD
Through the many years I've spent on this earth, I have figured out one thing. You aren't 'cool' unless you are thin. The media has tried to conform people into their 'perfect' image of what everyone should look, act, and be like. I even bought into that lie many years ago and tried for years to be picture perfect.
For many years I was happy with how I looked because I was me, all the time. It was around the age of thirteen that I realized I didn't look like the girls in the fashion magazines. I was short, plump, and nothing like the frail models I saw. I wasn't a size zero and wanted to be. I was lied to by them saying you have to be a size zero to be beautiful. If you aren't thin, no guy will ever like you. No one will see you... that if I didn't change, I would be avoided like the plague, or looked down upon.
I had begun to search for diets, which would help me lose weight fast so I could look beautiful. Then I began to exercise -- sometimes for long periods of time without any results -- except for the fact that I was tired.
I was still not 'cool' and when I found something that helped me lose weight, as soon as I ate something or didn't eat something, I was back to my old weight.
Nothing worked and I was angry! Why couldn't I look like the models in fashion magazines?
There I was: ugly, not thin, and not picture perfect. So I decided to forget the lie and began to live my life how God wanted me to live it, for Him. I was happy and most definitely not 'cool'!
Unfortunately, that didn't last very long. I again bought into the lie that told me I had to be thin to be beautiful. So I lost quite a bit of weight and went down three dress and three pant sizes. I was proud of myself to have lost so much weight, but I was still not picture perfect. I was not thin. I was me.
Yet, that wasn't good enough. So I continued to try to lose more weight by exercising, and even on Sunday's I'd skip breakfast, hoping that would help and that if I had less calorie intake I would lose more. It seemed like the more I tried the more I DIDN'T lose a single ounce. The worst part about it was that I was not doing this for me, and I was lying to myself.
I wasn't trying to lose weight to for me. I was doing it to please anyone and everyone who really didn't care about me. So I decided I didn't care anymore. I was happy and I was living life not how the media wanted me to live it.
I am a beautiful woman and a wonderful person. I have a great family, and I have a ton of friends who think I am beautiful for who I am and who God has created me to be. God has called me to be set apart from the world. God has blessed me with so much, with a great personality and a heart for Him.
Why don't people see me for my beauty? Why do people see me for my appearance and not because of me?
That is why I never wanna be thin. I never want to conform to their picture perfect model image. I am happy with who I am and who God is calling me to be. I just hope I am not the only young woman who has to find out the hard way. I hope that some day no one has to buy into the media's 'perfect' image of what they think you should be. After all, look at their lives. Should we actually be taking advice from them when they continue to mess up their own lives?
Have you ever felt the need to change who you are to fit the media's idea of "picture perfect"? How have you overcome your own insecurities?
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- From: IXOYE_AD@xanga
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Comments (50)
Go sis! Tell them what you know!
i would like to be skinny. i mean thats just me, i do love my current self but sometimes i hated it because everyone of my friends get hit on by guys or you know get that flirtyness going on but im on the sideline and feel left out. all of my guy friends wants to date my friends, but im here single too you know. lol. jerks i tell ya, but either way i feel really shitty sometimes about my self and i dont want to be bone, but healthy enough where i can find clothes that would look good on me, wear clothes that i really like and would fit me, and be able to swap clothes with my friends when i see they got something cute. so i finally joined the gym and took the initiative upon myself and to finally lose weight! :)
@misswonderj@xanga - I never said all models are tiny.
@HoneyBeePrincess@xanga - Its basically what you're implying in your comments. But at least you understand were not all one size?
@LenaStarz@xanga - You're already gorgeous but good luck! =D
Haha, that's funny that Dove is included in this post... cause Dove retouches the women from their commercials, you know, the ones who are portrayed as "real" women and prance around happily in their white undies?... and no, I'm not lying. There was a whole article about it a month or so back.
It's great that you've learned to be happy with yourself, but seriously, do it without being anti-thin. Believe it or not, there ARE people who are naturally, healthily thin. I'm a size 0 or 1 with C cup boobs and I'm HEALTHY. Not surgically altered, I don't starve myself or work out like a maniac. I don't think thin-bashing is any more fair than fat-bashing.
I agree with the other poster, who said pro-health is better than either anti-thin or anti-fat. I mean, if someone was 200 lb overweight, it's not such a bad thing to want to lose weight. A healthy body weight is most important.
In any case, I'm glad you learned to love yourself though!
woman, ill have you know that i am thin and i would kill for some curves. its funny how people perceive things, because my vision of the women they exploite in the media are everything opposite of what i am. we all see things differently... you know we should all just not give a shit because there will always be woman then have things that we dont have. love yourself, love your body, deal with it!
@EaTxYoUxALivE@xanga - the media's idea of picture perfect is all in your head. there are many plus size woman and curvy woman who get A LOT of attention. i guess that's the jist of what i was trying to say
im going through the same phase as u did. im a size 1/3, but im still not a zero. my bf keeps telling me im too skinny, yet theres no other way i'd rather be. i need serious help.
I've had alot of insecurities lately...I just...I'll look at people on tv or people out in public and I'll think, Oh I'm not sooo bad, or Oh, my gosh! I need to lose weight!
I don't know what to think anymore. Because some person's fat is another person's skinny and so forth, ect, ect. I think you just have to be happy with yourself in the end. You have to be healthy and not care what other people think. You have to care what you think. But if you think you have to be paper thin...then you're right back where you started. I think women are the hardest creatures on earth to convince of something. They'll believe something only if they want to or they'll dismiss it without another glance. I think it's a state of mind. Thin and fat are states of being or states of mind. I think that if you're truly happy, neither one really matters. Yes, there will always be that 5 pounds you want to lose or need to lose, but...until you are happy with yourself, nothing else matters.
Everyone keeps blaming the media..."they tell me you have to be size 0 to be beautiful," bla bla bla..
NO ONE TELLS YOU THAT! I've never heard anyone tell me, "You're not size 0, therefore you are not beautiful."
You tell it to yourself! Stop blaming everyone else.
So what if the women in the magazines are thin? Everyone is built differently, no one is telling you to go and kill yourself to look like that. No one cares!
Being yourself is great and all, but it really sounds like a lot of these posters are just jealous. Be happy with you are, yay and everything. But don't act like thin people are UNhealthy just because they don't look like YOU.
I think you have to find the perfect balance of being comfortable with how you look and being healthy.
I walk a lot, do work out tapes occassionaly, and try not to eat excess food. I have more wide set hips though, so I'll never be able to be "model" thin. I don't care though, cause who do I have to impress? It makes belly dancing easier anyways!
But as other people have mentioned, it's not exactly good being "anti-thin." It's excellent to aknowledge the fact you have to be safe about being thin and to not have a warped body image, but you also need to be aware that some people are just naturally thin or are athletic and they're not just "conforming to the media."
I was insecure about my beauty when I was younger, like in junior high school, but it was not b/c of my weight. I have always been thin. I got over it by accepting myself.
(1. I've never thought the mainstream was smart. So for me to think that their idea of what I should look like (or for a stranger's idea that's inspired by the mainstream..of what I should look like)...is somehow gospel is sortof...unlikely...and that's why it wasn't the case for me.
(2. Doesn't mean I wasn't an insecure person...I still have quite a few issues...though I managed to get rid of the "self image" ones that pretty much only existed because of how little confidence I had because of my awful luck as I finishe growing up. Good friends and learning to see sense about myself is what helped me.
@misswonderj@xanga - aw thanks a lot ^o^
The media's idea of picture-perfect is just like everyone else's, my dear - imperfect and subjective. But that's what is so ironically beautiful about it. You (regarding everyone), will never fit the media's perfect - why?
The media's perfect is ever-changing.
I find myself ever-changing, although I still "look" stick thin to everyone else on this green earth. I don't worry so much about what's going on around me, but what's going on with me. I've accepted that I will always have insecurities about myself - but what keeps me in check is that I remember the people I love, love me for a reason. I might not be as bad as I think I am.
See if that will work with you, and you may stop being as hard on yourself. Just don't let go - health reasons apply. You know, balance it somehow.
Curves are SEXY. Remember Marilyn Monroe? She was a size 16 and was one of the hottest women in history.
What's so hot about looking like a skeloton? Don't they want a bit of meat on their models?
Yes, I have felt that way, I feel it now. I just don't like what I see when I take pictures. It just isn't cool to me.
i want to be pretty. not skinny.
i have to resort to losing weight because i'm not beautiful, fat or thin haha.
you can lose weight but you can't gain beauty. sucks.
I think everyone should eat healthy and conscious, most americans over eat, as well as exercise and then they should be happy with their weight.
To be honest, this post infuriates me. A good amount of the comments do, too.
It has nothing to do with you wanting to be happy in your own skin. You SHOULD feel that way. You should always be happy with the way you look; if you are, there's no way you could possibly be ugly because confidence makes you beautiful. What makes me angry is this "I think size zero is UGLY" idea.
I've always been very small- I'm 5'5" and I'm about 110 lbs on a "fat" day, more like 100 on a normal day. There's never been anything I could do about it. No matter how hard I try to gain weight, I simply can't. In elementary school I used to get called down to the nurse's office because they thought I was starving myself- that's how small I was. (It's hereditary; my mother went through the exact same thing when she was in grade school.)
Never once had I been told that I was pretty. Everyone always criticized me because of my size, and it got to the point where I felt I wasn't worth anything, and I truly believed that no one could ever love me because I was ugly. The worst part was knowing that there was no way I could change it. Thankfully, my current boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful, and I've realized that it's society that's the problem and NOT my body. But if I said "I hope I NEVER get fat, I think fat people are DISGUSTING"... well, I'd get in a LOT of trouble from a whole bunch of people for even THINKING that sort of sentiment. So why is it okay for people to tell me I'm ugly because of something that's equally out of my control?
As plenty of others said: blame being unhealthy. Don't blame being thin. Thin isn't the enemy, and when you try to make it the enemy, you condemn people who hurt just as easily as those who are overweight.
I never want to be thin either,
I never have tried to be, I just do what I want....
Thank you for writing this. I agree with you 100%.
Although I want to be thinner, I would do it for myself, not to conform to anything. To be healthier, and to like myself more. Not for any guy. It's between God and myself. :)