Saturday, 03 January 2009
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Message To The Media: I Never Want to Be Thin...
Guest blog submitted by IXOYE_AD
Through the many years I've spent on this earth, I have figured out one thing. You aren't 'cool' unless you are thin. The media has tried to conform people into their 'perfect' image of what everyone should look, act, and be like. I even bought into that lie many years ago and tried for years to be picture perfect.
For many years I was happy with how I looked because I was me, all the time. It was around the age of thirteen that I realized I didn't look like the girls in the fashion magazines. I was short, plump, and nothing like the frail models I saw. I wasn't a size zero and wanted to be. I was lied to by them saying you have to be a size zero to be beautiful. If you aren't thin, no guy will ever like you. No one will see you... that if I didn't change, I would be avoided like the plague, or looked down upon.
I had begun to search for diets, which would help me lose weight fast so I could look beautiful. Then I began to exercise -- sometimes for long periods of time without any results -- except for the fact that I was tired.
I was still not 'cool' and when I found something that helped me lose weight, as soon as I ate something or didn't eat something, I was back to my old weight.
Nothing worked and I was angry! Why couldn't I look like the models in fashion magazines?
There I was: ugly, not thin, and not picture perfect. So I decided to forget the lie and began to live my life how God wanted me to live it, for Him. I was happy and most definitely not 'cool'!
Unfortunately, that didn't last very long. I again bought into the lie that told me I had to be thin to be beautiful. So I lost quite a bit of weight and went down three dress and three pant sizes. I was proud of myself to have lost so much weight, but I was still not picture perfect. I was not thin. I was me.
Yet, that wasn't good enough. So I continued to try to lose more weight by exercising, and even on Sunday's I'd skip breakfast, hoping that would help and that if I had less calorie intake I would lose more. It seemed like the more I tried the more I DIDN'T lose a single ounce. The worst part about it was that I was not doing this for me, and I was lying to myself.
I wasn't trying to lose weight to for me. I was doing it to please anyone and everyone who really didn't care about me. So I decided I didn't care anymore. I was happy and I was living life not how the media wanted me to live it.
I am a beautiful woman and a wonderful person. I have a great family, and I have a ton of friends who think I am beautiful for who I am and who God has created me to be. God has called me to be set apart from the world. God has blessed me with so much, with a great personality and a heart for Him.
Why don't people see me for my beauty? Why do people see me for my appearance and not because of me?
That is why I never wanna be thin. I never want to conform to their picture perfect model image. I am happy with who I am and who God is calling me to be. I just hope I am not the only young woman who has to find out the hard way. I hope that some day no one has to buy into the media's 'perfect' image of what they think you should be. After all, look at their lives. Should we actually be taking advice from them when they continue to mess up their own lives?
Have you ever felt the need to change who you are to fit the media's idea of "picture perfect"? How have you overcome your own insecurities?
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- From: IXOYE_AD@xanga
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Comments (50)
It's tubular that you were able to puke up society's lies. I know that anyone can be beautiful - some of the prettiest women I've seen were chubby.
It's all in how one carries oneself.
But yeah - you are what you perceive yourself to be. Not what you perceive others perceive of you.
That makes no sense.
But you know, whatev.
I'd say I was a little insecure, but I never succumbed into the pressure from mass media. How I overcame my insecurities? Discovering the definition and uses of PHOTOSHOP. Nobody can be picture perfect without a little digital, technological mutilation.
The definition of media's "beauty" doesn't even exist in real life, so you can never attain it. I think everybody in your situation should realize that.
erghh dove annoys me. their products are careless to the environment.
Yay, my post is up!!!!!
i don't understand why anyone would wanna follow one of the unhealthy girls in the media...many of them are CLEARLY unhappy and kinda messed up, yet some girls perceive them as "glamorous".
as far as i know, jessica alba has a rigorous workout routine and very good nutritional habits. there are other healthy celebs out there like her.
i disagree that everyone should just settle for how their bodies look and then do nothing to change it. having a good self-image is important, but it's equally important to keep your eating and exercise in check, in order to attain whatever weight suits your frame :] whether it's a size 0 or a size 10, one will look great if they are healthy without an excessive amount of fat on their bodies.
The only reason this post bothers me is that it slightly implies that it's bad to be thin, or to want to be thin.
It isn't bad, if all you're looking for is healthy-thin.
no. you see more and more full-figured girls in the media every day. they're being glamorized now more than very thin girls, and they often put down thin girls to do it.
i think it's great that you feel comfortable in your own skin..
i just think that instead of everyone being 'anti-thin', people should be more 'pro-healthy'.
i'm healthy and a size 00. that's just my natural body type. someone else's is a size 8 or 9. it seems people always feel a need to be in favor of one or the other being shown, but i think it's ideal to have a portrayal of both.
Bone-thin is kind of repulsive to me. It's sad how we're in the 21st century and some people still idolize being thin instead of being themselves.
I actually try to avoid the media, fashion trends, and things like that. One of the things I absolutely despise is being told by someone else what I should wear (i.e. what's popular, not what's best for my figure) and how I should look.
i do understand the pressure from the media, but i also agree with some of the other commenters that it's what looks good and healthy on your natural body type. as for me, i've always been really thin, naturally, (like a 0) and this year i gained a little bit of weight. i'm still thinner than most people, but when i look in the mirror, all i see is that extra weight, because i've always been so thin. i want to lose weight for myself, not to fit to the media's expectation--even though they might be synonymous. that being said, i know what its like to have disordered eating habits and an unhealthy body image, and the media has definitely glamorized that, unwittingly or not...
The media really annoys me. I've tried 'dieting', more like 'crash dieting', but that was awhile ago. I would watch what I was eating, and write down my calorie intake for the day. I'd skip basically all three meals, only eating maybe a few crackers and drink water. I must admit, the people on Xanga influenced me a bit. I didn't get the result I wanted, but I was happy I lost weight. I would get really tired and cranky. Later on, I figured out this wasn't working for me. I wasn't doing this for myself, but for my nagging mother and other people. So than I just stopped, and started being myself. :X
So, eh. >_>;
@KasumiCelesta@xanga - Agreed.
It's good to not want to follow the whims of fashion.
But being healthily thin (NOT unhealthy, like a stick figure!) actually can make you happier, I think. It gives you more energy and makes your outlook better. I think God wants us to take care of ourselves instead of just "accepting ourselves" like we are with no thought to maintenance.
Im struggling so much to be paper thin.. I have lost quite a bit of weight and Im really happy but the people around me are so worried and tired of me talking about calories and not eating dinner with the fam. I want to be happy but If I stop restricting, im so so afraid I will gain and be ugly.
i never felt media's picture perfect pressure until i was in college. everyone was so beautiful and i was lil' ol' me.
Hmm... Intresting topic of discussion it can go either way as PlainxJane stated her side. I believe that alot of people girls and guys feel the same way. People are so insecure with themselves they begin to believe all the media hype. This tends to alot of people on diets, even risking their own health to look "beautiful".
People should not be like those show in the media spot light. You should live your life not someone elses...
I get so insecure looking at models sometimes...even though I'm skinny like them...my boobs are small. I hate how even though models are skinny, their boobs are always like Cs and Ds. Blah!
I disagree with the anti-thin thing and blaming it on the media.
like really, I have tried for years to lose weight, not because of what i was seeing on tv or music videos or fashion magazines (i didn't watch much tv or pay much attention to pop culture throughout high school) but b/c it was really hindering me from looking/being my very best.
from what i could tell of what you did to lose weight, you were going about it all wrong.
1st mistake = thinking you need to be a size 0. I'm 5'2 and a size 0-2 and i'm perfectly fine cause it's good for my small frame.
2nd mistake= exercising for long periods of time and getting frustrated with limited results. a lot of exercise is good, but there is such a thing as too much. after about...i think 30min-1hour, it really doesn't do much but build more muscle and add bulk.
3rd = skipping breakfast. your metabolism is your best friend when it comes to losing weight. keep your metabolism up and running by eating breakfast to kickstart it in the morning and snack along the day. eat smaller portions frequently. that usually keeps it up.
Those are some of the most common mistakes ppl make when they try to lose weight. this is why diets don't work. get a high-impact hobby. I started hiking, and my legs looked great after a couple of weeks, and it didn't feel like exercise/work. it was fun.
I'm all about pro-healthy and keeping your body mass within the medically recommended range. I like that I'm a lot thinner after starting to exercise, eating right (mainly by eating bfast every day), and hiking once a week, and thinner feels alot better than chubby.
i like being thinner than i was. i really do. when i sit, there's not a huge bulb where my abdomens are supposed to be. I don't have to suck it in everytime i wear a clingy, black dress. I'm a lot stronger and more flexible from the exercise. before, my tummy used to get in the way, but now i can do a lot more yoga poses now that i've gotten rid of alot of the excess fat. My hiking pace has also improved a great deal now that i've gotten rid of the fat (dead weight) and gotten muscle in return.
bottom line, eat right and frequently (food is your friend, and so is the metabolism that turns/burns those calories into energy), and get off your butt and the internet and do something! being active is the best way to stay healthy. and that doesn't mean running 4810984390 miles til you're exhausted. all i've ever done was pilates/yoga + hiking and i've lost an inch a week and 2 lbs a week. I started at 115 a month ago. i'm now 102. :] and i still eat like nobody's business. :D
someone actually just made a comment to me.. saying that i could afford to lose a few pounds. awesome.
you're right, though. you shouldn't lose weight to impress anyone but yourself. as long as you love yourself and are confident -- that's beauty.
@spidergrass@xanga - ITA, I don't have big boobs either, I think most models are "enhanced"
There is this one pretty girl I knew who was gorgeous. Her skin was soo clear, her hair was very curly and cute, and she was pleasantly plump. I really don't want to end up as those size 0's anyways, I think too thin is not attractive. I'm happy being a size 4 in pants.
I'm very thin. Naturally. It always bugs me when people place so much emphasis on "not" being a certain thing. saying you "never want to be thin" or even that thin people aren't attractive is like saying plump or bigger people aren't attractive, but flipped on its head. It's all hurtful.
Just be yourself.
When I was growing up, I never felt like I had to be any thinner, but I hated my curly hair. I was a teenager in the 90s, and most of the models then had super straight hair. I had already gone through elementary school teased about my curly hair and my inability to make it cooperate. So by then, I was convinced I was not beautiful.
I love my hair now, but I am insecure about other things. I had surgery to remove a tumor from the skin on my nose. I do not look like how I used to. My nostrils are uneven now. I developed a respiratory disorder shortly afterwards. That kind of cut away at my confidence as well.
Ah typical. Because you could not achieve expectations in this particular society you reject them and call them false. In this particular instance I can say I'm proud of you =).
However, I would never want to be fat either. Not because society says its "cool" to be thin. I want to be healthy.
@HoneyBeePrincess@xanga - Its quite possible to have large breasts and be thin without enhancement, using myself as an example. But a lot of people believe that just because they can afford to do so that they're automatically going under the knife to achieve "beauty" and that's not always true. I used to model and I never went under the knife, ever. Plus do you know how expensive it would be for the agency to do nothing but take in the "unattractive" girls and put them up for all this appearance enhancing surgery? They do look for natural beauty, and the enhancements that some of them do get are quite often by their own choice, not by the agency. In fact a lot of agencies put limits on the things that can be done to yourself, since you are reflecting their image as well.
The real enhancements lie in the make up and pretty much photoshop for minor details.
@misswonderj@xanga - Anything is possible, but it's not probable to have large breasts if you have a small frame. Perhaps I should rephrase it in that models are enhanced in many different ways such as photoshop and airbrushing, and some with surgery. And you can't just put bigger boobs on someone in real life, although you can in photoshop. Runway models look thin and I don't think they have big boobs, as they are more of a "coat hanger" for the fashions.
@HoneyBeePrincess@xanga - Depends on what they're modeling. VS models tend to be voluptuous since they are advertising lingerie. Runway models for certain designers' clothing that only advertises to people of a particular size have models in that size, whether they're anorexic looking, average, or slightly overweight. Not all models are tiny.
Think outside the box.