Ok, so you know that shame spiral you can fall into from time to time? There can be many reasons for this… a break up, loss of a loved one, a crappy work day or it’s just that time of the month; And OMG ALL OF A SUDDEN EVERYTHING SUCKS. Lets fix this.
Today, I want to talk about how to deal with “the break up sads.” It’s a crappy topic, I know, It’s just terrible. It’s not uncommon to hear someone in this position say things like “I cant sleep, I cant eat… I’m soooo depressed!!” I truthfully never understood this before now… the sleep part, sure. sometimes its hard to shut your brain off at night where there is a lot on your mind. I get that. It’s the eating part I never understood. How can someone not want to eat?? It’s one of the small and wonderful joys in life that not only replenishes you physically, but a good slice of pie or a big bowl of mac & cheese can bring a smile to your face in a way nothing else can. This is why comfort foods exist.
Well guess what… I lost my appetite for almost a week due to stress, confusion and sadness. Not only did I lose my appetite, but I lost 7 lbs, like, super fast. Some girls might love that, building their self esteem back up by looking in the mirror thinking “Yeah I’m heartbroken… but at least I look skinny.” I really don’t care how skinny I look when I feel like crap. Life Is weird sometimes. And I’ve decided, FORGET ALL THIS ‘NOT EATING’ B.S. I’M GOING TO MAKE AND EAT A CHOCOLATE MERINGUE PIE. DONT CARE. I DESERVE IT (and so do you)!
You know what always makes me feel better? Pie. Pie fixes everything. Sure, it doesn’t make up for what you’re probably lacking nutritionally… just take a vitamin. Screw it.
Would that be my answer 2 months from now when I have a better idea of where my life is going? Eh, maybe not, but for right now… it’s the best thing to do for myself.
So when you are sad, CHIN UP! BAKE SOMETHING! TAKE A LITTLE PRIDE IN YOUR CRAFT!
Here are my instructions on how to cope when life gets ya down:
- Get yourself an cute little apron (there are some adorable ones here).
- Find a recipe for the pie of your dreams/ or use this recipe (chocolate seems obvious to me, as its actually proven to be a mood enhancer).
- Get out of the house and go to the fancy market! Spoil yourself! If you’re doing chocolate, invest in some really amazing cocoa powder. If your doing a fruit pie, take your time in the produce section, buy organic, and be adventurous. For me, just seeing all the natural beauty, color, and variety of the fruits and veggies can cheer me up. The world is a super cool place sometimes.
- Buy yourself some fragrant flowers… and why not? Take them home, arrange them in a vase, and sniff often. At the very least, while your at the market, just sniff, don’t buy. If the have one of those rose freezer things, stick your head in it… it is awesome. who cares if you look crazy, they don’t know what you’ve just been though. Attach a new scent to the memory of getting over it and being an empowered lady.
- Buy a nice bottle of red wine… it will compliment the chocolate AND get you a little tipsy. Double win. I’m not really a big drinker, so ‘Ill probably skip this… mainly to avoid making a wine drunk fool of myself because I have, like, zero tolerance for booze. Use your discretion, don’t go crazy with the booze. Sip responsibly.
- Put on some make up! No doubt you’ve been slacking on your personal hygiene… get it together. Fix your face. For you… not for anyone else. It may seem shallow, but if your feeling rejected, remind yourself that you don’t always look like just crawled out from under a big rock of sad.
- Make up done? check. Apron on? check. Flowers arranged? check. Glass of wine? check. Now get to baking. The pie crust will take some time in the fridge because it needs to chill… this will leave you with some times on your hands. So while the dough is chillin’, call your besties. Invite them over for a little pie and wine. You’ll be glad to have some people to vent to. They wont mind because, not only do they love you and that’s what friends are for, they get free wine and pie!
- I highly suggest you watch Funny Girl. There is just something about that scene where Barbara Streisand sings Don’t Rain On My Parade that will have you beaming with a sense of self confidence and possibilities for the future. At the very least, look this particular scene up on YouTube.
- Remember to always love yourself… I mean, seriously, you just made an awesome pie from scratch. This isn’t a skill that many women have anymore. You’re a catch! REMEMBER THAT!
CHOCOLATE MERINGUE PIE
recipe adapted from marthastewart.com
- 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour (leveled), plus more for rolling dough
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla sugar (you can use regular)
- 1 stick cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
- 2 tablespoons ice water, plus 2 more, if needed
- In a food processor, pulse flour, salt, and sugar several times to combine.
- Add butter. Pulse until mixture resembles coarse meal, with just a few pea-size pieces remaining.
- Sprinkle with 2 tablespoons ice water. Pulse until dough is crumbly but holds together when squeezed with fingers (add more water if needed,1 tablespoon at a time). Do not overprocess.
- Turn dough out onto a work surface; form dough into a 3/4-inch-thick disk. Wrap tightly in plastic, and refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour.
- Unwrap dough, place on floured rolling suface. Roll dough to a 14-inch round.
- Lift and wrap dough around rolling pin
- carefully unroll over a 9-inch pie plate. Gently fit into bottom and up sides of plate.
- Trim overhang
- Crimp edge; refrigerate until chilled, about 1 hour.
You’re going to bake the crust with no filling since this is a custard pie.
- Preheat oven to 350°
- Place pie crust in oven and bake until golden brown; about 15 to 20 minutes
- Remove from oven and cool completely
adapted from allrecipes.com
- 1 cup white sugar
- 2 1/2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 1 pinch salt
- 1/2 tablespoon instant espresso powder
- 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
- 2 eggs, separated (dont throw out the whites! you’ll need them later!)
- 1 cup milk
- 1 tablespoon butter
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- In a large saucepan combine sugar, cocoa powder, espresso powder, cinnamon,flour, and salt. Mix well.
- Stir in egg yolks and milk.
- Whisk until all ingredients are mixed.
- Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture has the consistency of pudding.
- Stir vanilla extract and butter or margarine into custard.
- Pour mixture into baked pie shell.
- 2 egg whites
- 1/4 cup of sugar
- In a medium glass or metal bowl (I used my Kitchenaid mixer) whip egg whites until foamy.
- Gradually add 1/4 cup sugar, continuing to beat (on medium to high) until whites form stiff glossy peaks.
- Spread meringue over chocolate covering completely. You can also use a pastry bag for this if you want to make it fancy.
- Bake in preheated oven (400°) for 5 to 6 minutes, until meringue is golden brown.
- Chill before serving.
EDITOR’S NOTE & UPDATE:I wrote this post almost a year ago today for my personal blog, which I haven’t written in since (I started working for Lovelyish shortly after this). I’m happy to say that my boyfriend and I worked things out and are happier than ever. But, I still feel like writing this post really helped me deal with a difficult time. These are things that worked for me, and maybe they will help you. Remember, we all deal with things differently…
What are some things you do to feel better when you are sad?