Lovelyish

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The video isn’t showing. However, intent has nothing to do with the fact that it was offensive. If a marginalized group of people are speaking up about it, Ikea should take responsibility.

I found it funny! Its a fact that there are quite a few ‘ladyboys’ or transgendered women in thailand and I wouldn’t be at all surprised that some of them may feel the need to hide the fact from their partners. So Ikea’s cracked a joke that the bargains so good they cant control themselves…and whats offensive about this? yes some trans folk do have to control their voice and yes some men are not aware their very attractive and feminine partner is in fact trans. Ikea is not implying that a trans woman is unattractive but is using a common occurence as a marketing ad. If anything theyre highlighting the fact that trans folk are not coming clean to their partners about who they are/were.

I think it’s kind of insensitive. But at the same time, I might almost feel flattered. It’s almost like, it’s being accepted as somewhat of a social norm by making fun of it. But I can also see where the TG community is coming from. It’s just one of those situations where you don’t really know what’s right because it’s very difficult to imagine being in the other’s shoes.

Whatever happened to freedom of speech? The gays and the transgenders are always offended by something. How come I never hear about the straights offended by the gays and transgenders?

@lloydkuhnle@xanga - @merquryd@xanga - @DrummingMediocrity@xanga - Hey guys! Sorry about the video I’m going to try and get it fixed, but here’s a YouTube link in the meantime! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPtofIu59Lw

the ad certainly isn’t the worst of things of this nature and i think there are bigger issues to put up a fuss about when it comes to lgbt rights, but i do agree that it is offensive. the ad depicts a man showing interest in a woman, until her voice tips him off that she must be “one of those people” who switched sexes, so he is suddenly uninterested and runs away in fear and disgust. a classic case of every day transphobia that most of society is completely desensitized to, and completely inappropriate to poke fun at, as this is a very real and terrifying struggle that people face every day. if it upset the group that much, good for them for speaking up about it.

@superGchik@xanga - are you kidding me right now? people of the lgbt community have been and to this day are still in danger of being attacked and literally murdered by straight or cisgendered people who are offended by them. homophobia is rampant in society, clear in comments like, “i don’t care if you’re gay, just don’t flaunt it in front of me” “what about the children?”, etc. etc. the fact that people are still campaigning against gay marriage, i mean jesus christ, all of that is just the very tip of the iceberg. i can’t believe anyone would even seriously suggest that straight people aren’t speaking up about being offended by “the gays and transgenders”, the mere fact that we are still having to fight to be treated like freaking human beings is proof of the contrary. the only difference is that straight people have no reason to be offended by other people who are just living their own lives, as it does not affect them in any way. things like this, however, are completely rational to be upset by as it perpetuates the discrimination and oppression that lgbt individuals experience on a day to day basis. open your eyes.

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - i’m just saying that lgbts are always offended by something. it was a funny video. what’s wrong with people these days, just a little humor and they get all defensive about it. 

@superGchik@xanga - it’s not just a little harmless humor though when it’s poking fun at something that causes real pain for a lot of people. transgender people just want to be seen and treated as normal human beings, not like some sort of undatable freaks just because they had a sex change. the struggle of coming out to people and being shunned like that is something that they actually face, and when it happens to them in real life it is certainly not funny at all, it’s just hurtful and upsetting. so i don’t see where the joke is in that. “hahahaha people are disgusted and afraid of who you are hahaha lighten up it’s just a joke!” ?

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - we should be able to live freely and do what we want to do. if someone’s always going to be offended by something we do, then what’s the point of living freely. sometimes people just need to sit back and take a chill pill and relax and stop nitpicking at everything else. 

@superGchik@xanga - i have disarmed both of your arguments and explained why it’s offensive and you still refuse to acknowledge that it’s harmful. clearly you are satisfied with being ignorant and hurtful and have no intentions of trying to understand what’s wrong with this. and i agree that people should be able to live freely and do what they want to do, so i won’t bother with this issue anymore. but if you truly do believe that then it also means that others should be able to stand up for what they believe is right regardless of it interferes with your fun, and that’s all this transgender group is doing.

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - for your information, im not the least ignorant by any means. you can choose to live your life the way you want to live it. i have nothing against the lgbt community. they can do what they want to do but it always seems like all i hear these days is something offending their community and they make a big deal out of it. i believe that the only time you will actually live your life is when you stop listening to what everyone is saying and just do what’s best for you. not everything is a fight. 

@superGchik@xanga - you can’t just say you’re not ignorant while simultaneously displaying ignorant behavior though? i’m not saying you have anything against lgbt people specifically but in this instance you are refusing to see reason or trying to understand why it’s offensive. and it’s completely unfair to brush this stuff under the rug and tell someone to “just live their life and stop listening to what everyone is saying” when stuff like this is constantly being shoved down our throats. it’s hard to do that when everywhere you turn, stuff like this is going on. it’s disrespectful and interferes with being able to live our lives when we’re constantly getting shit for doing so. believe me, i would love to be able to just live my life and ignore what other people are saying but how can i do that, when it directly affects my life? if i should choose to marry a woman, i could be stopped from dong so by people who disagree with and treat me differently because of my preference. the same thing applies. if humanity as a whole was at a point where we could be mature enough to realize that transgender people are not disgusting and they weren’t currently experiencing the hurtful discrimination of being turned down for dates based on the fact that they used to have opposite genitals, then it wouldn’t be as bad. but we are not at that place, so things like this reinforce the negativity geared towards them and prevent them from gaining the equality they deserve. that’s why we have to defend it. not everything is a fight, you’re right, but some things are worth fighting for and this is one of them.

@superGchik@xanga - It’s a daily fight if you are being oppressed. When you have to fight just to get a modicum of respect, to not be killed in the street, or to be treated equally in society…you don’t have the luxury of just “living your life” or “stop listening”. This is much more than a commercial. It’s harmful and serves to further oppress a marginalized group of people. Demanding a voice, respect, and representation in the face of a society that actively works against you is more than a small matter, it is helping to secure your future security.

Also, you really have no room or right to complain about how someone responds to their own oppression. Why do you even have an opinion at all if you want everyone to just live their life, stop listening, and mind their own business?

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - Unless you’re also going to attack any joke, commercial, campaign, commentary that makes fun of ANYONE (straight, redneck, hippy, gay, conservative, liberal, white, black, smart, stupid, young, old etc), your argument is invalid.  Yes, every one of those groups at one point in time, and many still today are threatened simply for who they are. 

And sorry, if someone is out and lying about who they are, to someone they supposedly love, then THEY are the ones oppressing the other person.  Like it or not, lies are a form of oppression.

@grim_truth@xanga - that is completely different. racism and ageism are both very real so i’ll give you that one, and as a matter of fact, i do speak out against them when i happen to come across an instance. as for the others, that is simple bullying, which i am generally against as well. no one should be made of fun for doing what they want, regardless of if it agrees with my own lifestyle or choices. but you must be blind if you actually believe that straight, white, conservative, smart, stupid, etc. people are actually being oppressed in today’s society, having their lives threatened, and their rights taken away over such things. show me one instance where that’s happened and i will be open to changing my mind.

as for your last comment, another classic form of trans* phobia, they aren’t obligated to discuss their past with everyone they meet, just as you aren’t expected to delve out yours either. they are not lying about anything, they really are the gender they present as. if anything, their appearance before their sex change was the lie, not the other way around. i agree that it’s inappropriate to not share that information with someone they are in a relationship with, though even in that case it is still their choice when they decide to do so, but it is completely ridiculous to suggest that they should, upon meeting someone they’re interested in, blurt out “hey by the way i was born in an (opposite sex) body”. coming out to someone is an extremely personal choice and when they are in danger of being laughed at, thrown aside, and generally misunderstood for including that information about themselves, of course they would choose to withhold it initially. just as anyone else would with any part of their past that would get them the same reaction from a stranger.

Oh for fuck’s sake…

Well, I can’t view the video. 

What is the problem here? That the man was no longer attracted to someone who had been a man before? If that is a problem, the argument must be that a straight man is not allowed to exercise autonomy with regards to who he is sexually attracted to. He must follow the politically correct ideology to avoid offending anyone. 

LMAO that commercial is hilarious.

I’m more offended by the commercials in the US which portray men as lecherous morons.

@tjordanm@xanga - Wait, are you saying that the Ray Romano archetype is offensive?! 

I agree with you. 

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - The problem is, while they may be emotionally and mentally the gender they present as, some transgender people (such as the young man in this commercial) still have the genitalia they were born with. Unless they get surgery, they still are physically the opposite gender they are presenting. Many people would not date someone who is physically the opposite of what they are attracted to, and I would understand feeling betrayed and even creeped out at someone not telling me that information. It is selfish to not tell someone something so important. I would understand being scared about doing so, but it is still wrong, and you can’t blame someone for being upset for expecting one thing and getting completely the other. It’s an issue of honesty and respecting others’ taste and what they are naturally attracted to more than anything. You can’t force someone to be attracted to something they simply are not, and you shouldn’t try.

@WaitingToShrug@xanga - Yes. “Derp…you’re a pretty lady on the street and I can only act like an idiot now.”

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - Obviously, you are the blind one, not me.  I have had my life threatened simply for being a white kid in the wrong neighborhood.  That was simple bullying? 

Sorry, but if someone is not what they present themselves to be, they are lying.  If her voice changed, it was because she was making a conscious effort to disguise it.  Disguise is a form of deceit.  Deceit is lying. 

So basically, what you’re saying is, the man has ZERO choice in the matter?  That he’s in the wrong for no longer being attracted to someone who decieved him? 

So much for tolerance….

@WaitingToShrug@xanga - the problem isn’t that he’s no longer attracted to her, that’s fine. you’re right, people can’t control what is attractive to them. but the problem is that he literally runs away in fear and disgust. why can’t he just politely excuse himself from the conversation instead? why is it such a big deal for people to adjust their behaviors to avoid offending someone? is it so hard to just be respectful of the feelings of others that you would rather be intentionally rude and hurtful just because it doesn’t affect you? the other problem is that the fact that he runs away in fear in disgust is being presented as a joke to amuse others, when it’s a very real issue that affects a lot of trans* people.

@Jenny_Wren@xanga - to fully understand the transgender community you must first understand that gender and sex are two different things. gender is mental, sex is physical. i’m sure we can all understand the concept that body and soul are two different things. when someone is transgender, it’s not that they are claiming to be something different than they are, it’s that their gender really is opposite from their sex. and more common transphobia is referring to someone who hasn’t had the surgery as the sex they were born as. if someone says they are a woman/man, who are you to tell them otherwise? having certain genitals should not define your gender. and i absolutely understand not being attracted to someone’s physical sex, but at the same time that does not mean that they have to disclose that information upfront. they can tell you whenever they feel comfortable doing so; they shouldn’t be expected to walk around and introduce themselves as transgender. it’s dangerous and unsettling. don’t get me wrong, i completely understand where you’re coming from, and it’s fine if once someone decides to tell you about their trans* genitals, you decide you are no longer interested. but maybe if it was more acceptable to walk around as a trans* individual and not be bullied and discriminated against, they wouldn’t feel the need to withhold that information.

@grim_truth@xanga - okay, i’ll give you that one too. there are certain neighborhoods where majorities become minorities and things like that can happen. i am sorry that that’s happened to you and others, i truly do believe it’s horribly unfair. and you have every right to bring to issue to attention and fight to try and have it eliminated just as these trans* individuals are doing. i also suggest you read the above replies, too, as i don’t feel like repeating myself in addressing your other comments. i am not saying the man is at all in the wrong for simply not being attracted to her. but the way it’s being portrayed as a joke in this commercial is offensive.

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - But the fact remains, if they do have a penis, they are physically male whether or not they feel they are. I am drawing a distinction between the mental/emotional and physical, but I still don’t see how that excuses deceiving someone. They may very well feel their true gender is female–but if they have a penis, they are not being honest about the fact that they are physically a male. That is deceptive to anyone they wish to date. 

@Jenny_Wren@xanga - true. but in the dating world, aren’t we all deceptive in some ways? there are things about all of us that we don’t tell our partner about ourselves upfront, for fear of being rejected, and as far as i see it, that’s one of trans* people’s things. if you can’t have children, or you have a bad past, or a lot of debt, or whatever, anything that could be a problem in a relationship and kill someone’s interest immediately, you typically don’t tell that to someone you’ve just started dating, as it hasn’t become serious enough yet for it to be relevant. you get to choose when it is appropriate to let them know. the same thing should apply. i understand not being physically attracted to a certain sex, but typically trans* people who haven’t had their sexual reassignment surgery plan to. and if you’re on a date with someone who you find physically attractive, well, good for you. you go on a few more dates and still find her attractive, only now it’s becoming an attraction to her personality, too. and when she chooses to let you know she has a penis, she is still the very same person you were with all that time. you don’t have to be attracted to or even see it if that makes you uncomfortable; you could always refrain from doing anything sexual with her body until she has changed it into something you are attracted to. but to expect her to share that information upfront when the fear of being hurt or killed over it is very real to her, is not fair. bottom line, it’s her information to tell to whomever she chooses. call it lying if you want, but unless you expect everyone to walk around telling each other everything about themselves right away, it’s not unusual behavior.

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - One thing we do agree on: no one should run screaming from a transgender person, and no one should treat a transgender person as somebody lesser or subhuman. They are people with struggles and pain and a story, and they, just like all people, should be treated with dignity. 

@tjordanm@xanga - This is one of the many things I don’t miss about television. 

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - I think that the exaggerated response was probably supposed to be the humorous part. Again, I have not seen it, I am going by the descriptions I’m reading. Obviously IKEA has enough trans customers to have taken the commercial down. 

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - Just saying, getting offended at harmless jokes is petty and quite, honestly, bullshit.  People sit back and say it’s ok because they’re “persecuted” while ignoring that persecution knows no limits. 

Why do I think you’re full of it?  Because if the joke was instead of her voice getting deeper, we found out she’s actually 62 and her tits sag to her knees, you would laugh your ass off.  You wouldn’t find it offensive, most likely.

If you would still find it offensive, you’re an oversensitive idiot.  If you wouldn’t find it offensive, you’re a hypocrite.

@grim_truth@xanga - i get the joke, it’s just not funny. regardless of why he was running away, it still wouldn’t be funny because it’s just a dumb joke. and it is not bullshit to be offended by something that is offensive. i’ve already explained why it’s both harmful and offensive but clearly you are more interested in name calling so i won’t even bother arguing anymore.

@sliceoflife_surveys@xanga - Again, are you speaking out against any and all jokes?  For your argument to hold water, then you must. 

You have failed to accurately explain why it’s offensive.  Just because a group has been oppressed?  There are no groups that have not been oppressed, therefore, there is no merit for that to be a valid viewpoint. 

It’s so freaking ironic, or maybe just sadly stupid, that what you claim is the basis for the commercial to be labeled offensive is in and of itself the true offense.  Again, the man was lied to, betrayed, misled, and who knows what else, and he’s the culprit in this?  His victimhood is what makes it offensive?  THAT is what is bullshit.  If you continue to refuse to see that, then yes, you are indeed an oversensitive idiot that picks and chooses your stance based on emotion rather than fact. 

What you are saying is, the harm in this was done to the liar, the betrayer, the one that was purposefully deceitful?

No wonder the world is as screwed up as it is…

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