Wanting to dress in a way that compliments your body’s natural shape is totally understandable and desirable. I myself am continually conscious of dressing to flatter my hips and broad shoulders. So trust me, I get it. My worries are not with wanting to dress well, but with the way we’ve gone about promoting it. Not too long ago, Glamour came out with their special edition entitled “1,000 Ways To Dress 10 Pounds Thinner”. I realize that they meant no harm in it and that they were simply trying to provide women with solutions to common wardrobe flaws and confusions. However, I felt like it came off negatively. To me, it said, “no matter your shape, you should want to dress ten pounds thinner.”
But here’s the thing, maybe I don’t want to be told to dress ten pounds thinner. Maybe, just maybe, I want to be told that as long as I’m healthy (and healthy comes in a number of shapes and sizes, mind you) that I should embrace my size and dress in a way that makes me happy and comfortable.
Now, I’m not intending on bringing down the iron fist on Glamour. I adore them. But everyone gets it wrong every now and then. And I honestly think they went about this one the wrong way. It all seems very confusing because we are getting so many mixed, contradictory messages. And to muddle things further, the contradictions are often within the same magazines. For instance, we are told to embrace our bodies, but then we are told to strive to look thinner. We are told about all of these wonderful achievements women are making, but then we are told how we should act to impress men. We are told that the most beautiful version of ourselves is the face we paint on.
Of course I would never begrudge any person for wanting to lose weight, for wanting to feel more comfortable in his or her own skin. But I also am not about to begrudge a woman who is perfectly happy with her size. I’m not about to admonish her and say, “but don’t you want to look even thinner?”
I know I’m coming down hard on the industry, but that’s the way changes are made. And I will applaud all of the fabulous magazines and designers who are putting their feet down and demanding more realistic standards. Despite this, we are so far from being where we should be with the image of women currently being putting out there.
Some of the ways I go about doing my own little part is by not purchasing magazines with features that I feel are degrading, or would just make me feel badly about myself. I’m a human being. I already spend enough time nitpicking my own body and I don’t need anyone else doing it for me. Another way to make a big difference in a seemingly small way is by how I interact with my friends, male and female alike. Self-body bashing is contagious, so stop! There are days when I’m feeling particularly insecure, and those are the days when I seek out a friend and say, “I’m feeling badly about myself today and this is why. Feedback would be appreciated.” That way, I am confronting a very real thing in a very healthy way. So long compliment manipulation!
Lovelies, I would really like to hear your take on this issue? Does it bother you when you are told how to dress thinner, or do you actually just appreciate it? And if it bothers you like it bothers me, what are you going to do about it?
guest
I do feel society puts far too much emphasis on being thin. However, I am not thin at all and wouldn’t mind learning how to minimize my least favorite parts and make the most of the assets. But, if I didn’t care for the article, just as you don’t, I would focus my energies on being positive, showing less confident women how to be more comfortable in their own skin regardless of her size and shape. If a woman felt that she looked good, she’d probably skip this article/magazine anyway! It is not mandatory to read, or to follow their tips. The thing that bothers me is the phrase, “Real women have curves.” Now, some women are naturally built less curvaceous as others, and being heavy does not mean a woman is curvy. Yes, I said it. A chunky girl who doesn’t claim to be “curvy.” Not to mention, there are some women with small breasts and hips–just because they are not very curvy, they are not any less of a woman to me.
guest
I feel it is a magazine and I don’t get my self worth from magazines…or anyone else except myself. It’s a magazine. This has been a topic covered by women’s magazines since there were women’s magazines. Maybe worry when they change it to 40 lbs thinner or choose not to read them.
guest
I don’t buy magazines full stop, even the fitness and health ones can be fuill of shit. Admittedly I will have a look through at the hair dressers or whatever but I don’t want to spend my money on that stuff, make me feel bad about myself.
guest
What’s wrong with accentuating your assets? I don’t understand why that’s a bad thing. Women dress to look good – there’s nothing wrong with that, and if you’re offended by magazines giving you advice on how to do that, don’t buy the magazines.
magnolia / 1369 posts
it doesn’t personally bother me . i’m fun sized [ 5'0] with a chest that’s a 36D & a big ass . my tummy is a little bigger than I would like it to be but other than that, I’m absolutely fine with my body . you as a woman need to be secure enough to know that a magazine shouldn’t define who you are & if reading it makes you feel some sort of way, then you don’t need to be reading it . what’s the difference between dressing thinner and buying a VS wonder bra that promises to add two cup sizes; or buying booty pop panties?
guest
Society has ALWAYS put this pressure on women.. just think how awful it must have been when the “Can you pinch an inch” slogan first came out.. Forget looking 10 pounds thinner, almost every woman in the world can pinch an inch!!
I’m 22 years old. I’ve dealt with eating disorders and disordered eating pretty much since I was 14. I grew up on Glamour, Seventeen and the opinions of the entire world resting on my shoulders, and I’ve learned one thing; it’s never going to change. Even with the amount of people gaining weight in this world, the need for perfection will still run wild. Sometimes I think humans just need something to fixate on. Most days, that’s my issue. But at some point you have to throw away the magazines and realize that they’re really just trying to fill paper, and they have to say something, so why not dredge up an issue that you KNOW people will read about? Why not- sells magazines.
guest
Yeah, I look for magazines for tips on workouts, or what to eat, and what to wear, but I’m definitely picky and sort through the bullshit and the ugly things, and the workouts that don’t work, or the meals that definitely would take too long to make and not fill me up at all. It’s up to the reader to take these magazine messages with a grain of salt – it is entertainment – it is meant to be deceiving, it is meant to coerce and affect your lifestyle/purchasing/ readership patterns. I pick and choose what I like and will listen to from magazines.
Lovelies, I would really like to hear your take on this issue? Does it bother you when you are told how to dress thinner, or do you actually just appreciate it? And if it bothers you like it bothers me, what are you going to do about it?
And to address your question, it’s really weird for me because half the people in my life are telling me I need to lose like 5 more pounds and I’ll look awesome, and the other half talk to me like I’m anorexic and like I starve myself – both are untrue. I feel that other people tend to put their own issues with food/ self-esteem/ body issues on me, and that’s the part that bothers me the most, but sometimes I can understand it. Talking about our bodies has become as mundane as talking about the weather – it’s almost like just shooting the shit, something we’re all supposed to care about, but no matter what anyone else says about myself, I have my own opinion on whether it’s too hot or cold or skinny or fat or whatever other dichotomies out there.
And yes, I do appreciate tips on how to accentuate my SHORTness from magazines, as much as I aprpeciate tips on how to not look so bulky – I’m the type that dresses like a person trying to look like a homeless person
guest
I just don’t read magazines, except maybe Oxygen or Reason. Women’s magazines, even Shape and Women’s Health, are basically trash, except maybe fashion and beauty.
guest
they’re not commanding you to do anything. They’re offering suggestions to those who want to and may not know how. No one forced you to buy the magazine and be offended or feel pressured. Who cares. Some people may actually appreciate this style guide.
guest
Really, when I stand in line in the grocery store, every single women’s or celebrity gossip magazine is either about: how to make delicious food, how to lose weight, and which actress has lost or gained weight.
It’s not even uncommon to see a single magazine with two headlines: “_______ has gotten scarily skinny!” and “_____ tips for slimming down & toning up!” It’s ridiculous.
guest
I get showing clothes or hairstyles for certain face or body types or shapes. But if there is an article to love your body then an article to lose weight for summers to get in your swimsuit or skinny jeans it is a contradiction.
guest
I definitely think there’s an assumption from the title that all women need to look as thin as possible. On the other hand, though, I don’t think articles such as, “Feel good about yourself with clothes that show off your Ponch & Love Handles.”,or, “Dress frumpier to look another size bigger.” would be big sellers.
I think the issue here is all about the title. If it read something about flattering your shape, I don’t think it would send such a negative message.
guest
it seems like youre being overly sensitive and trying to pick an argument
guest
I get what you’re saying here and why you’re saying it. It needs to be said. It’s a valid point, and I like your personal ways of avoiding it/not playing into it such as not purchasing the magazines, and not participating in body bashing with other women. You’re touching on a very relevant topic and you’re doing what’s best for you and it’s surprising that half of the women who commented on this blog seem to miss that point. Mayb they’re offended because they actually like those articles emphasizing ways to dress “thinner”. But I for one, do not think you’re being overly sensitive or anything like that. You’re speaking more from a self-love point of view, but somehow most of your commentator’s missed this point.
guest
@ffffooot@xanga - She is not being overly-sensitive. She’s touching on a valid degrading women’s issue that’s relevant in mass media. And if you look at the particular article cover she chose for this post you can see the obvious flaw with the headline “1,000 Ways To Dress 10 Pounds Thinner: A Complete Style Guide for Your Exact Shape & Size” >> the flaw is, what if you’re ALREADY thin? I could somewhat understand this headline on a plus size magazine, because it’s already assumed that you’re dealing with a voluptuous women, who may or may not want to dress “thinner” whatever that means. But what about women who are already freaking slim or even skinny? We tell them they need to dress 10lbs thinner, Really? That’s just an awful message to send! My heart goes out to anyone suffering from an eating disorder, and I’m not saying the media causes it, but it certainly does not help the situation with headlines like these. And it doesn’t help when an honest women speaks out about it, and a bunch of blinded, naive, passive, women gang up on her for doing so and refer to her as “too sensitive.”
Why not just call the article “A Complete Style Guide for Your Exact Shape and Size” ? And I don’t think she thinks she’ll change the world or decrease their sales or anything like that, but she is speaking from her heart and personal experience, she’s doing something about it (for herself anyway) buy not buying those type of magazines or participating in body bashing with other women, so why hate on that. Magazines are built on the backs of insecure, passive woman who won’t call a spade a spade, and that’s sad. A lot of people assert that these types of messages to women in media will never ever ever stop, and it certainly won’t stop if we don’t talk about it and if we continue to buy ($literally$) into it.
guest
@daydreams_nightmares@xanga - There’s nothing wrong with dressing to accentuate whatever body type you have, that’s just good fashion sense. The point is, the article’s title accentuated “Thin” “1,000 Ways To Dress 10 Pounds Thinner: A Complete Style Guide for Your Exact Shape & Size” >> the flaw
is, what if you’re ALREADY thin? What about women who are already slim or even skinny? We tell
them they need to dress 10lbs thinner, Really? That’s just an awful message to send! Why not just call the article “A Complete Style Guide for Your Exact Shape and Size” ? She already said in the post, that she doesn’t buy the magazines.
guest
Whatever happened to the concept of “flatter your shape”?