Last week, I was having a pretty rough morning. I had been in an argument with my boyfriend the night before, went to bed feeling a bit disgruntled and woke up with swollen puffy eyes and splotchy skin. As I was waiting in line for my iced coffee, a woman behind me said, “I really like your outfit.“ At first, part of me thought she was joking. I mean, my hair was a mess and I’m pretty sure all the skin brightener in the world couldn’t make me look well-rested. And honestly, generally speaking, women just don’t really compliment other women that often. I said “thank you,” grabbed my coffee and headed off to work. Her words, as simple as they were, definitely stuck with me though. As I was driving to work, I smiled and thought, I think I needed a pick-me-up from that compliment more than this iced coffee.
For those of us that are a bit more visual, this is how I felt before I received the compliment:
And after:
It also made me want to pay it forward. I mean, think about it. How often do you receive compliments from complete strangers? How often do women receive genuine compliments from other women that we don’t know? I don’t remember the last time I’ve complimented a stranger.
So I’m starting something new from now on: I’m going to give a stranger a genuine compliment every day. Try it! If you’re a little shy about talking to strangers, do something nice for a stranger every day. If you’re a little shy and don’t really know how you would go about doing this, here are a few ideas:
1. Hold open the door for someone. Trust me, in a place where kindness is a bit obsolete (think grocery store, post office, etc.) this actually does go a long way.
2. Allow someone to merge into your lane during rush-hour traffic. In Texas, it’s one of the nicest things you can do for someone. Ever.
3. If you’re at the grocery store with a full cart and the person behind you in line only has a few items, let them in front of you.
4. Do you visit a website, read a certain blog or really love a stranger’s Instagram/Pinterest feed? Leave a comment and make a blogger/IG-er/pinner’s day a bit brighter! (I received the sweetest comment about a month ago and it made my week.)
You have no idea the impact you can have on someone’s day with a simple act of kindness. Maybe the woman at the coffee shop really did like my outfit, or maybe she sensed that it was already a rough morning for me and she was just trying to be nice. Either way, she made my day exponentially better with that one simple compliment, and honestly, after complimenting other people, it causes me to have a better day too. It’s free, it takes almost no time at all and you’re making someone else’s day (and your day) better. What do you have to lose?
What do you think about this project, Lovelies? Is this something that you would try? Do you compliment others often?
guest
I compliment others like I have verbal diarrhea with no cure. If I like something about someone, I tell them. This goes with strangers and friends alike. It really is a good confidence booster, and hopefully they pay it forward as well.
rose / 980 posts
I do always try to pay random compliments when I think them. I won’t set out to pay a compliment, but when something pops in my head I tell them. It sure does make people feel good.
guest
Yes, random acts of kindness, I love it. I do not often compliment strangers, I only do it when I really like something. I often do several of the things you mentioned. Whenever I am at the grocery, which I only go 3 or 4 times a month, it is usually a good amount of groceries at a time so I am always willing to allow someone behind me with a couple items check out before me. Plus, it gives me a little more time to load my groceries on the conveyor belt. If I see someone with the turn signal on to merge, I almost always allow them to. Whenever I go to Michaels (craft store), I always print out a couple extra coupons to give to people in line next to me. Once I overheard a child asking if she could get a fancy cupcake liner and pick set, which goes for like $4 so they can bake together but the parent said no because she didn’t have a coupon. I gave her a 40% off coupon and thanked me profusely. I’ve also helped elderly people reach things from high shelves (or low ones if they can’t bend well) in the market, or help load cases of bottled water into their car in the parking lot. I have found that even a little smile and nod goes a long way to improve another person’s mood.
guest
First of all, she complimented you on your outfit, not your hair, skin color, or how well rested you look.
Second, I get compliments all the time from women more than men lol. I think it’s super sweet that women genuinely compliment another stranger.
guest
I hold doors open for the women, but I will NOT compliment them. I won’t even talk to them or look at them. Thanks to the FEMMUNISTS, I could be charged if I say what the woman considers to be ‘inappropriate’. So, fuck it.
guest
To the blog author: Fuck the Texas Rangers! The Toronto Blue Jays rule, biotch!!
orchid / 105 posts
@dancingrain4u@xanga - true. however, i could have a great outfit and if i have no makeup on, greasy hair, and swollen crybaby eyes and i don’t think it’s quite the same. that’s probably why i thought she was joking at first… lol
it’s sad that whenever it happens, some of us (me) think that they’re joking. i think the ‘mean girls’ scene where regina compliments the girl on her skirt kind of scarred me for life.
orchid / 105 posts
@babybug329@xanga - yes! that’s awesome that you do that. we really underestimate the power that words and actions can have on others.
guest
@misswheeler - I take the opposite view.: Even if they may be joking, which I don’t think ever happens except maybe in high school and below, I will always take the compliment at face value. IF they were trying to insult me, then my reaction of genuinely thinking that they had complimented, would piss the hell out of them lol My usual response to a compliment regardless of men or women is “Thank you. You are too kind”
daffodil / 1615 posts
I was on campus once and some guy was wearing a “FREE KARL” shirt from Workaholics, so I told him I thought his shirt was pretty awesome.
guest
Once when I was a sophomore I went up to a stranger and told her she was really pretty. The girl was 5’8 and looked like a model. She looked at me like I was a creep and said “..thanks.” I’m terrified now to go up to someone and randomly blurt out a compliment, because I think they’ll be creeped out. I try to give compliments to people but they always look at me as if I have an ulterior motive.
guest
I open doors for men and women all the time. how does it feel to have a petite girl open the door for you strangers
they usually react with…”omg, a tiny girl opening the door for me
thank you
” I’ve pulled a chair for this meathead guy to sit down. it was hilarious. it usually makes them feel awkward and guilt tripped that they didn’t open the door/pull the chair for me first, not that size matters, but they usually seem embarrassed of the nice gesture.
guest
My friend and I have tried complimenting on a random girl’s hair. It was the very first time we did it and that didn’t turn out very well. Two girls came into the ice-cream shop where we were sitting and they looked like they just came out of hair salon; their hair totally perfect! One of them was wearing straight hairstyle while the other curly. We thought the curls were absolutely fabulous, we couldn’t just sit there and watch anymore. We approached the girls complimenting how her hair looked gorgeous and we asked if we could know where she did it. They stared at as quite blankly, and the straight-haired girl said sternly, “At the shop.” We felt so awkward and we didn’t even know what to say else anymore. But we kept smiling and kept complimenting, but they didn’t look very happy at all. We then had to leave their table feeling awful and awkward. We couldn’t stop thinking about how a person couldn’t take a compliment well. Later, a thought popped to my head like, “what if her hair wasn’t real?” It looked so perfect that it could have been a wig too. They must have thought that we were playing a joke on her. It was so bad. We never tried to compliment since.
guest
The other day walking into my student union, a girl told me I looked adorable. Coming from a stranger, and the fact that she thought so enough to tell me despite not knowing me, meant a whole lot more!
orchid / 105 posts
@dancingrain4u@xanga - i think that’s the perfect way to respond to a compliment! i’m always afraid that when i try and compliment someone, they will just stare at me or worse.
@AlyWallyx@xanga - yikes! haha, i’m always afraid that will happen to me! i tend to compliment people more on what they’re wearing or something… that way there’s less of a chance they’ll think i’m being weird or something. and i always kind of say it in passing. like if i’m in line behind someone, or walking by or something. the thought of walking up to someone and saying something makes me so nervous!
@simplysuzu@xanga - that sounds horrible. maybe it wasn’t her real hair? it’s sad that people are more likely to assume that someone is being ugly than actually being sincere. that’s how i feel when i get complimented on something that i’m a bit insecure about. personally, i hate my nose (if i were to wear a swimming cap, i’d look like a falcon), and when my boyfriend told me that’s one of the things that first attracted him to me, i actually got a little upset. so i can kind of see where she’s coming from. you were just trying to be nice though!
@Shytooth@xanga - yes! it really makes your day to hear something so nice from a stranger!
guest
Although it’s rare for me to receive a compliment outside of the internet, I pay compliments to strangers all the time, especially at work. Especially at work simply because I don’t get out much otherwise. I love to see their eyes brighten and glitter and see the smiles actually reach those eyes.
guest
yes, I do compliment strangers. I look at it as if everyone needs compliments, and sometimes those from strangers mean more. it can lift a person’s mood, like a random act of kindness.
guest
I always compliment strangers. I catch a lot of grief about it from my friends, but I always feel so good when given the smallest compliment. I like to spread that small joy. Like you said, a compliment from anyone can really improve a bad day, and I’ve never seen anything wrong with being friendly and kind.
guest
I dont really compliment people,
but the other day i saw a girl on the subway bawling her eyes out. Everyone was on the subway staring at her, and there aren’t separate carts on our subways… I grabbed a piece of paper from my bag and wrote “keep your chin up. whatever it is, it will pass. i can promise you everything will work out in the end” I gave it to her when I got off the subway, she smiled and half crying said “thank you so much”.
guest
I compliment people if they’re alone, and if they look like they’re nice, but not to guys.
guest
I compliment women ALL THE TIME! It can be cute earrings, shoes, outfits, etc.etc. I think I love to make people smile and have a great day. It also makes me feel like less of a b*tch to go out of my way to involve myself in humanity. Really, I think it’s something that should happen more often! =)
sunflower / 480 posts
I totally do all of those things and I highly, highly encourage it. We all know that negativity spreads like wildfire, but so can a positive, cheery attitude!
guest
@babybug329@xanga - come and give me a hug! YOU!!
so sweet! I love this.I was about to reply that I normally do compliment strangers, but today made me forget why. Your comment made me feel so much better. Even though we don’t always get the niceness back, it goes around somewhere so it WILL eventually get back to us somehow.:)