Lovelyish

What I hate about this story is how people are shaming the poor girl & she’s no longer here to defend herself. Did she make mistake? Yes but a supposedly grown man was cyber stalking her & using blackmail & that’s illegal. Those “friends” of hers that abandoned her didnt really care at all & some of them are coming out of the woodwork to apologize now. Lots of good it’ll do…Also, how did politics get into this? In some articles, people are talking about how people who feel sorry for her must be Obama supporters. This girl was CANADIAN!!! WTF does our politics have to do with it?

It’s tragic when someone kills themselves. It’s a permanent solution to temporary problems. I hope they find the bastard that contributed to this mess. Unfortunately stories like these will keep popping up until people stop dismissing bullying & calling it shit that just happens when you’re a kid.

I feel bad for her parents.  Stories like this one scare me.

You know what pisses me off? Everyone’s all sad & saying, “I would have been her friend!” Look around you. People you know struggle every day and you do nothing about it. Everyone ignores the signs; no one cares until the person is actually dead, then they want to pretend like they were friends with the person and would have helped more. You ignore sad Facebook statuses everyday & dismiss the person as wanting attention or being overdramatic. This shit is real. I’ve never attempted suicide, but I thought about it nearly every damn day for months straight when my depression was at its worst point. I was cutting myself at the LEAST five times a day, bruising myself, and eventually became bulimic because my view of myself became so fucked up. My ‘friends’ and family weren’t there for me. I would talk about how sad or hurt I was on Facebook because at that point I had NO ONE to talk to, so Facebook was the only place for me to vent. My own best friend and even FAMILY blocked or deleted me and told me it was because of my ‘annoying, negative statuses’. No one stepped in to help. I’m just lucky I was able to push through it and get myself help, because no one helped me.
It’s so tragic, and I don’t blame this girl for doing what she did because honestly, I don’t want to live in this fucked up world, either.

I agree with the above person’s comment about hating when people say “I would have been her friend!” Too little, too late.

I just saw this girl’s picture on tumblr a few minutes before stumbling across it on here and it makes me sad all over again. I wonder if people are ever going to realize that their words really do hurt. It makes me wonder how they would feel if the tables were turned and they were the ones being bullied and ridiculed and made fun of every single day.
I hope this poor girl is in a better place. People make me so sick. 

There goes 9 minutes of my life I’ll never get back…
This girl’s situation is tragic indeed, but I honestly cannot feel bad for her. What I got from the video was: idiotic middle schooler seeking attention flashed herself on the net to random dudes > gets blackmailed > instead of going to the police/parents/teacher or any authority figure, gave into blackmail > somehow spirals hopelessly into depression, drugs, alcohol because of some leaked photos of her boobs (if this happened to celebrities, we’d have a very small # of actors left..) > continues to do reckless things like sleeping around and getting into fights (seriously, where does school fit into this?) > tells people to be strong like her (lol!?) > makes video > before waiting for reactions from those who would notice and help her, takes her own life.
I usually sympathize deeply with bully and depression stories, but this one was just ridiculous. The argument on her defense would be something like, “she was still a kid! Kids make mistakes!”, “it’s not her fault that there are shitty jerks and horrible people in this world!” She was 15, not 8. But I guess expectations for American youths are so low that people think they have the mental capabilities and decision making skills of grade school children. And yes there are horrible mean people in this world, and while ideally everyone deserves the right to live a harassment free life full of joy and happiness, reality is not this way. We do however have a the right of choice. She could have chosen to react to any of her situation by either fighting back (via ignoring), seeking authoritative or profession help, etc. Instead she chose to be the passive victim. I don’t feel bad for people who choose not to help themselves.
I’m glad she posted the video though. A lot of people can learn from her mistakes

Why the fuck wasn’t this guy detained? Excuse my language, but the creep with her info definitely should have been arrested.

I totally agree with @SUPletstake___surveys@xanga - . When I was badly depressed and suicidal in my final year of university, I had no-one to help me. My “best friend” thought I was attention-seeking because she had also been diagnosed a couple of years earlier, my boyfriend basically told me to get over it and my parents were too far away to do a lot. When I turned to Facebook, people deleted me and told me I was annoying and attention-seeking. I’d love to know how they would have reacted if I’d actually gone through with it.

@nepenthium@xanga - You do realize she changed schools 3 times, got both medical and psychological/counseling help, right? Basically that man hunted her down with the intent of ruining her life, and inadvertently forced her to kill herself. 

Also, high school kids are vicious and with the anonymity of the internet, anyone can bash anyone and get away with it because it’s not regulated. 

@iKevinL@xanga - Yeah I saw the video. What she was doing was a passive form of resistance: running away from her problem by changing schools, instead of facing it and reporting the crime. The man alone did not drive her to suicide. It was a combination of her own initial desperation for attention, weakness to deal with it, parent’s obliviousness and lack of guidance (seriously, who lets their kids use facebook in middle school??), and of course the bullies.

@nepenthium@xanga - Although I agree with some of the things you have said you should probably know that the girl was not an American but a Canadian. 

I believe the bullies usually just find it funny if people kill themselves. It’s the climax of their sense of power.

@nepenthium@xanga - You are so tough and honest, and I admire how awesomely you take responsibility, and that are just better than everyone else!

You are right, people who are bullied and feel like they is no longer any hope for them, should stop being so whiny. After all Amanda KNEW what was going happen and how it would make her feel even when she was still happy. The age is a reliable indicator of that. She just asked for it, right? 
People with depression should free themselves of it aloneand not complain. Everyone CAN help themselves. Because like you said, we have a choice.

The problem is of course that because of how the synapses in their brain are linked and what neurotransmitters are released, people don’t see the better life they could have. And that in fact they can’t help themselves sometimes (even though in virtually all cases of teenage bullying there ARE options), which is why they even overcome their survival instinct and END their lives for ever. That’s why some ‘deserve’ sympathy. But I am sure Amanda did see how she could feel better one day! I mean after all she was fifteen. And somehow got depressed and reserted to drugs. Oh wait that doesn’t make sense, somehow, right? After all she’s dead.

So for next time: you know where to shove your hypocritic “I usually deeply sympathize” with people, because you see, there is no logic in your thinking.

I can’t say that the vid made me sad although I can relate to some parts about sadness. how could she actually believe that a guy, who already has a gf and wanted to sneak her over to hookup and cheat with her, would actually have really liked her my sympathy was mostly gone after the cheating part.

Friendster was the trendy site back when I was in school I don’t recall any bullying on that social site. I remember a bunch of friendly comments or what they dubbed “testimonies” on each others’ sites. I left a funny rap style comment on some cute guy’s site.

it is ironic because when I was in middle to high school, I did feel left out sometimes or that nobody liked me. later I met some nice people. now that I’m grown up, I often can’t stand people, and instead of feeling “left out” or being a “loner,” the difference is that now I choose to be on my own or with a few close people(two to be exact) and I don’t really care if a lot of people like me, because I’m an elitist, who don’t think they are good enough for me, so I’d rather be in excellent company than be an acquaintance to flimsy friends. I used to feel sad that I didn’t “belong” but now, my perspective has changed and I don’t know why I cared to belong with those scumbags in the past.

Must have been a pretty lonely world for her.   Bullies sucks.

So far, they can’t track the man who has harassed her for years……

Gosh, it is like running away from a Grimm Reaper.

I can’t decide which is worse:
the fact that these assholes harassed her to no end,
or the fact that people keep criticizing her long after she is dead.
Give the girl a break, she’s had enough in her life.

Those who are first to criticize obviously is missing the point…just because this it the internet doesn’t mean you can write and  do what you want.  Your words and actions come with consequences.
Would it even be appropriate to say out loud what some of you wrote here? Have you no shame?  Have you no heart?
What if the parents of the girl read what you wrote, because they can (Not to say that they will, because I’m sure they have better things to do, but I can only imagine what they would feel like if they did). They are probably going through enough as it is without you adding salt to their wounds.  You’re entitled to your own opinions, but sometimes it’s better to keep some opinions to yourself.

The lack of compassion and care for people who are going through rough times is exactly what causes things like this.  It’s a tragedy that some people don’t learn even after someone dies.

@nepenthium@xanga - this is innapropriate… you should be embarassed of this post and i suggest you delete it. her story is “rediculous”??? really.

@oystermushroom@xanga -  The first person this whole fucking page that made any damn sense.

The main point I get out of that video is a complete parenting fuck-up.  The parents and girl had multiple opportunities to be pro-active and change things.  I would be raising hell if something like that happened to one of my children.  If other people are not going to leave you alone, you have to be the one to do something about it. 

Seriously, the police showed up and one of the parents couldn’t be bothered to have the police even try to track the guy down?  I suppose they were too busy not teaching their daughter to not sleep around with a person that has a girlfriend.   I am also surprised the school did not do anything.  With videos on cell phones, it is hard to get away with things.

Everyone involved in this failed.

@PocketfulOfDreams@xanga - Please learn to write coherently with correct spelling before you post. This took a while to decipher.
“I admire how awesomely you take responsibility, and that are just better than everyone else!”
Take responsibility for what exactly? Better than anyone else about what? How did you ever make the leap from the comment “I don’t feel bad for her” to “I am better than everyone” ?

“You are right, people who are bullied and feel like they is no longer any hope for them, should stop being so whiny.”
Where did I mention she should stop being whiny? I wrote she should have reported the crime to an authority figure, basically implying she should *speak up* about her issues instead of keeping it silent and isolating herself. Don’t misquote me with negatively connotated words like “whiny”.

“After all Amanda KNEW what was going happen
and how it would make her feel even when she was still happy. The age is
a reliable indicator of that. She just asked for it, right?”
Uh what? That’s what *you* think and inferred from what I wrote, not what I actually wrote or implied. If this is the turning point in your argument revealing a fatal flaw in my comment, it’s not a very coherent or good one.

“People with depression should free themselves of it

alone

and not complain. Everyone CAN help themselves. Because like you said, we have a choice.”
Again, more inferences and putting words out there that I did not write. Where did I mention people with depression should free themselves of it “alone”? I actually wrote that she should *speak up* and report the stalker (which is the root of her depression)

“The problem is of course that because of how
the synapses in their brain are linked and what neurotransmitters are
released, people don’t see the better life they could have.”
Thanks for the psych lesson lol. I’m a psych major; some causes of depressions *are* from biology and genetic, but we do not know whether anyone else in her family has history of mental illnesses so we can’t assume she was born genetically prone to depression. It seems more plausible (from the video at least) that it was from her suppression of the stalker problem that lead to her depression.

“And that in fact they can’t help themselves
sometimes (even though in virtually all cases of teenage bullying there
ARE options), which is why they even overcome their survival instinct
and END their lives for ever. That’s why some ‘deserve’ sympathy.”
Again, thanks for the biology lesson. Your statement really relies on the (very big) assumption that she’s genetically prone to depression and that nothing else (reporting the crime, speaking up about her problems, et al) will help solve it.

“But I am sure

Amanda

did see how she could feel better one day! I mean after all she was fifteen. And

somehow

got depressed and reserted to drugs. Oh wait that doesn’t make sense, somehow, right? After all she’s dead.”
You’re right, it doesn’t make sense because your statement makes no sense. What are you trying to say here exactly? Please at least learn how to write coherently before attempting to make a snarky rhetort.

“So for next time: you know where to shove
your hypocritic “I usually deeply sympathize” with people, because you
see, there is no logic in your thinking.”
How did we get from diplomatic disagreement to plain rudeness? I *do* sympathize with victims of bullying when said victims are completely helpless in their situation and has no control with what they’re bullied about (e.g. race, socioeconomic background, gender, sexual orientation, physical disabilities, et al). In this case however, the girl has full control of her situation from the start, from choosing to flash to the internet, to choosing not to report the crime and suppressing the problem, thus leading to her isolation and depression and downward spiral of bad events.

Overall, if you’re angry with my comment because it was unsympathetic, then that’s understandable. But to attempt to put your gut emotional reaction to what I wrote in a logical manner is futile. You can certainly disagree on an emotional/moral level, but logic-wise, my argument *is* flawless; it’s more of your reading comprehension that’s questionable.

@emcg - ridiculous, yes (not “rediculous”). Putting people down for having different opinions on an anti-bully post. lols.

@nepenthium@xanga - your post was putting down the girl who was bullied to death… grow up.

@emcg - My comment answered the question posted by lovelyish, I was expressing an opinion of why I do not have sympathy for her (putting her down would be something like, “that stupid bitch deserved to die”, etc like the style of many youtube comments). Your first comment on the other hand was judging and putting down my comment for having a different opinion–which is very ironic considering this post is anti-bully.

Sooooo where the fuck were her parents in all of this?  Why was she allowed to have facebook even after she’s getting bullied on it?  Why did they not just take her out of school completely? 

She obviously didn’t get the support she needed to let her know that these things pass.  She made terrible choices and her support system didn’t do enough when she was handed the consequences.

@nepenthium@xanga - oh come on. Criticizing me for my bad spelling is about the lowest form of trying to devalue my argument. If it was only meant as constructive criticism though, which I am sure you claim it was, then thanks. I will try to pay more attention to it, so more people read my comments. Try.

I am fully aware that I made assumptions about you and your general ability to sympathize with people. I felt like in any case it would do more good than harm. Also, you used the word ridiculous, which indicates a negative, dismissive attitude, just like whiny. I hoped my evidently sarcastic and exaggerrated comment would make you realize how disgusting your attitude towards this case looks to people who do sympathsize with her, and it seems like it did (even though I’m aware that it doesn’t mean you care).

Regarding the “psych class”: I did not even mention genes. (In fact I could not care less wether a genetic disposition played a role or not! ) I said that due to some biochemical reaction in her brain she thought what she thought and did what she did, just like any other person does whatever they do.

Claiming that one person had more ‘options’ than another when in either case is the outcome is suicide, does not logically make sense, unless maybe you believe in the division of the body (with the brain) and the soul (that holds the ‘free will’ and ability to make choices).*
Even when you do, I don’t think you know how exactly a soul functions, and that suicide is a safe indicator that the person felt pretty trapped. Other people have options too, even when they are /seem more complicated (to you).

Of course my moral objections are the initial reason of it all. Why else would I comment. One might argue that the moral judgement of a person is still necessary, regardless of biochemical or supernatural reasons (which is true in some cases, but counterproductive here.)
However I had  (and still have) the strong impression that your harsh thinking is based on that assumption of “choice” and “options” that I don’t agree with, rather than a concept on how to improve things.
(Why? Because you emphasized it over and over again, with no relativation or explanation, you assumed I was talking about the rather classic ‘excuse’ of genetic disposition, and you sounded dismissive.) Therefore I thought it would be good to remind you and other readers that we ALL have our reasons, even when we can’t really relate, and that things can be more complicated than we understand. It might make people think a little outside of  ‘their box’ and encourage them to find ways to prevent suicide, REGARDLESS of what caused it and of wether the person has options they “should” see (which your judgemental comment definitely doesn’t.)
Of course in the end you can feel whatever you do but of course you will get a reaction to it.

*I’m sorry but I am not going to discuss this on lovelyish. It’s an interesting argument to have, but it goes too far now, and is usually a very unfruitful discussion.

Cyberbullying is quite bad. I recommend ANYONE who is being cyberbullied today or if you know someone who is that is close to you, to contact your local police. This is a problem today and I’m delighted to find the police are taking this sort of thing quite seriously now, especially recently – but you must let them know about it first. They can’t read minds.

And yes, the parents should’ve been on top of her activities to recognize the warning signs before she tragically took her life, and I’m sorry about that …

@PocketfulOfDreams@xanga - “I did not even mention genes…due to some biochemical reaction in her brain
she thought what she thought and did what she did, just like any other
person does whatever they do.”
Biochemical reactions are influenced by genetics. 

“Claiming that one person had more ‘options’ than another when in either case is the outcome is suicide,does not logically make sense”

What are you talking about here? Who’s the one person and who’s the other? You seem to mention how she might not have recognized there are other
options because of how her brain functions *when* she was depressed. In my original comment I mentioned that prior to her becoming depressed (under the assumption that she was a healthy person) she chose to flash, and then afterwards chose not to report the blackmailer. This was *mostly* what I based my original comment and opinion of her on (because her downward spiral of depression, self harm and bullying stemmed from these two events).  I did give thought to the possibility of her just being reckless and idiotic but I am dismissive because (in my book) being young and not caring about consequences are not valid excuses.

(and yes I do expect reactions & disagreements regarding my original comment, especially on a controversial topic like this, but not in the same style as those hysteric youtube commenters. I expect lovelyish readers to be better than that.)

From a person who has failed at suicide, trust me, until you do something, no one knows, suspects, or has a clue. Many probably do care, but having someone try to intervene in advance just doesn’t happen. That’s why there are so many “I’m so sad they felt like there was no other way” posts.

I think bullying is horrible and it needs to stop. However, I disagree with the comments saying that other people drove her to kill herself. It was her own decision to kill herself.I think everyone at one point in their life will have to deal with a horrible situation where they feel like death is the only solution but most people don’t kill themselves and they keep fighting until things get better. Not everyone has a good support system I know I don’t and I have faced some really hard situations but I’m still alive and that’s because I made the choice to live. Amanda it’s boy alive today because she sadly chose to give up and die and let her tormentors win.

@nepenthium@xanga - Ideally, yes she should have told someone but obviously not everyone who gets bullied ACTUALLY does it. I don’t know about you, but many people suffer in silence because they don’t have that courage and guess what – it’s why schools needs to do something to combat bullying. Hell, the teachers came over, saw a bruised girl, and still decided it was okay to let her be. Let’s not put ANY blame on the poor girl at all because obviously grown adults that have seen bullying before thought she’d be okay dealing with it alone.

Also, isn’t it hypocritical that you think she’s mature enough to tell others when she’s being blackmailed and bullied, yet doesn’t have the same capacity to have Facebook at the age of 15? The only reason why Facebook was poisonous in the first place was cause of the bullies.

@iKevinL@xanga - It is obvious that both the authority figures and bullies are at fault here. No one is arguing otherwise. Your wording makes it sound like I think the girl deserved to be bullied, which is simply untrue. No one deserves to get bullied, but this isn’t an ideal world, and some form of bullying will happening inevitably (no matter how strict the school code against it might be) It’s more that I don’t sympathize with her situation because she refused to speak out about the stalker issue and the bullying. How can authority figures help her and consequently address the bigger issue of bullying if victims like her continue to keep quiet and victimize themselves in silent? (e.g. with the fighting incident, the teacher didn’t/couldn’t do much because instead of telling them what happened, the girl went and lie in a ditch until her dad found her)

” isn’t it hypocritical that you think she’s
mature enough to tell others when she’s being blackmailed and bullied,
yet doesn’t have the same capacity to have Facebook at the age of 15″

No, your level of emotional maturity has nothing to do with your ability to use a social media platform; a monkey can be trained to use facebook. Further, it’s more of the issue of common sense that I’m questioning. It’s hard for me to imagine why she wouldn’t report the blackmail crime. Is confessing to her mother/police about posing nude on the net that once so much worse than being harrassed, stalked and blackmailed?

@nepenthium@xanga - If we’re going to resort to connotations, I’m sure there’s plenty you’ve said that base a lot of “blame” on Amanda.

E.g.  idiotic middle schooler

seeking attention flashed herself

on the net, somehow spirals hopelessly into depression, drugs, alcohol because of some leaked photos of her boobs (if this happened to celebrities, we’d have a very small # of actors left..)  

Also, I never said you felt she deserved the bullying, but merely you thought her actions were inadequate when really, there was no other “choice” for her.

I guess you didn’t get the tidbit where police went to her DOOR to report the initial release of her nude photos. That automatically meant both the police force, parents, and following schools were informed of this. So guess what, she was supposed to have a support system but somehow it failed and made her feel like she had to deal with it alone. Really? You think a teacher’s supposed to just dismiss a girl who’s hurt without questioning further? 

Yes, trained monkeys can have that capacity, but you specifically said: seriously, who lets their kids use facebook in middle school??, denoting to the fact that she doesn’t have an emotional maturity for the site. I don’t think she lacked common sense. It’s not like it wasn’t made public that she had nude photos because again, the police had come to her following its release. What more could she have done to “alert the authorities”?

In the end, she’s passed away now and arguing about how she could have done differently is useless. I just thought you’d like to know that I think she did the best she could with what she had going on for her and hopefully changed your resolve to not sympathize for her situation. 

This kills. Me I had a similar thing happen to me in high school. I was a lucky one – I escaped it. I will graduate with a Masters Degree in Social Work this May. My experiences which were so similar to Amanda’s gave me the motivation to be that person who is there for people like us, when nobody else is. 

****You also may want to post a warning that this video could be triggering for those who self injure/have a history of SI…..! 

         Why did that man keep fallowing her? Why did he have to ruin her life?? That girl might of made some mistakes but who gives any of those people any right, at all, to judge her?? Everyone makes mistakes, I’m not saying what she did was right, but that doesn’t mean all these people can make fun of her, yeah that man made a webpage but it wouldn’t of been such a big deal if other people wouldn’t of looked at it! Another thing that I have never gotten is why do men and women tend to choose a partner over the truth?????  That women should not have started a fight with a teenager and why did she make such a big deal out of it ,why did she feel the need to bring that many people into it and the girl???? She couldn’t of just talked to her cheating boyfriend?!?!?!?

I feel so bad for this girl she didn’t deserve any of those adults taking advantage of her or the immature classmates making fun of her. Those people are messed up and I hope they change.

@iKevinL@xanga - Didn’t the police come to her door after the stalker leaked her nude photo to everyone she knew?? I’m assuming her classmates thought she was playing a joke on them and reported it to the police & they came to inform her that there are photos of her floating on the net. Now if Amanda had reported the blackmail incident immediately when she received the threat, and the police dismissed her case, then you can say that her support system completely fails. But because she never reported it, and the police only contacted her *after* it was leaked (and I’m assuming since the video never said that she told the police the truth, that she continues to keep it silent), the blame cannot completely rest on the authority. For the school fight incident, the teacher did run to her aid, but she left and lie in a ditch until her dad found her. There were 50 other students and I’m assuming the scene was like a riot, how are teachers suppose to know exactly what happened if she doesn’t tell them?

Overall, *everyone* involved is at some blame (e.g.-her for not speaking up and the authorities for not investigating further) and the fact that she is now deceased doesn’t automatically make her blame-less to me. Although you seem to advocate this for the sole reason of compassion and sympathy.
Regarding the “who lets their kid use facebook in middle school?”: that was an example of why I think her parents fail in guidance. And no, it does not imply anything about Amanda’s maturity because as I said, there’s no correlation regarding maturity level to technical knowledge of a social media platform. It’s a question of necessity; there’s simply no need for *any* middle schooler to use facebook as it’s primarily a college friend finder tool. She did lack common sense in many situations: to call the police immediately when the blackmail threat came in, and to delete her fb account afterwards, to hook up with a guy while fully being aware that he has a gf, etc. Her actions *were* inadequate and there *were* choices available for her (the most obvious one is to not have flashed to the net in the
first place). The fact that she’s somehow unable to see these choices for whatever reason is exactly
what makes her unsympathetic to me. I do find her *situation* tragic, as I wrote in the first comment, because there are a few sympathetic events (like being harrassed about the bleach drinking incident after she got out the hospital). Nobody deserves to be bullied and die by suicide; it’s mostly her character and how she chose to deal with her situations that I can’t sympathize with.

@nepenthium@xanga - props

@oystermushroom@xanga - Hear, hear. It must be so easy for careless people to spew hateful things all over the internet with such separated anonymity that they have no idea how it can actually effect the other humans on the receiving end of the hate. The poor girl took her own life, no matter the reason I feel bad for someone who was pushed far enough to commit suicide. 

Sure everyone is entitled to free speech and to express their opinions, but I honestly don’t think that any of the garbage I have read on here would have been spoken out loud had we all been standing around the girl’s grave. That kind of talk is exactly the thing that drove the girl to her own grave- whether you think it makes sense or not.  

This post was titled “Tragic: Girls Posts Anti-Bully….” not “Pathetic: Girls Posts…”. I think it was pretty obvious what kind of comments this post was geared towards receiving. 

This story makes me feel incredibly sad. This happening to a person so young is terrible; obviously older and more experienced people would have an entirely different realm of ways to handle such a situation. This girl did the best she could with the tools that were available to her….these tools were obviously not enough. 

Lesson to all: think before you act. Think before you speak. Take a milisecond to imagine the human being on the receiving end of your commentary…I believe that is the entire point of this post. 

@nepenthium@xanga - what is wrong with you?

@light_blue_fables@xanga - haha I appreciate your deep concern; I’m fine. I hope you are too. 

@nepenthium@xanga - i
don’t think it’s your opinion that is pissing people off but your
choice of words. from your arguments (discussions) you seem to present a
logical argument to what is really an emotional one. it’s very easy to
sit back and say why didn’t this girl do 1, 2, 3…get herself out and
be done with it. but when you are personally involved, and emotions are
high (or extremely low), being able to stay clear headed enough to
realize logical, common sense solutions is almost impossible especially
when you are of a much younger age.

on a side note, maybe instead
of wondering why people are ‘bullying’ you, you should wonder why
people are negatively reacting to your opinion. i think the ability to
give an unpopular opinion in a way that makes the other side at least
willing to listen, if not agree with, is much more admirable than simply
having an opinion and not caring how it’s perceived when expressed
(even if it’s logically put and well written).

I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this & that’s fine. (I assume we are all allowed to have an opinon), but those who committ suicide are the weakest type of people. Everyone has problems in their lives, and yes, some are worse than others, but in this world, you sink or swim. And the choices you make lead to other people’s choices. I could see if the girl was bullied because of something that was beyond her control, but flashing guys on the Internet and sleeping with a guy who has a girlfriend will land you in hot water.

@xsun_kissedx@xanga -  Thanks for taking the time out to comment diplomatically. I’m not wondering why I’m getting negative feedback because I’m well aware of the reason for people getting pissed off. While I do realize my choice of words in the initial comment was harsh and judgemental,  

1) this is an open forum posed with an open-ended question for us to answer. I would be happy to sound more PC or hold back judgement if the question had a caveat stating to be sensitive of the issue. But since it didn’t I took the question at face value and answered it like how it’s posed (I suppose next time I’ll automatically apply that caveat to these kinds of questions regardless of whether it’s stated). If you take my comment and apply it in a situation where we’re at the girl’s funeral or standing infront of her grave (like another poster mentioned), then of course it will sound bad because it’s completely taken out of the original context of an open ended forum question to a specific social situation where we’re *expected* to be respectful of the girl. In that case it would be very inappropriate to just burst out of the blue proclaiming my un-asked for opinion. But here lovelyish asked, so I answered.

2) It’s probably true that it is hard to manage to think clearly in difficult and harrowing situations. I do find bullying to be a terrible crime and Amanda’s *situation* is tragic because it was relatable (I too experienced ample bullying growing up and depression at around her age). But unlike her, even at my lowest, most suicidal moments when my own support system did not help, I never made the kinds of decisions she made because I thought I had no other choice; I realized I was in control of my own happiness. Though I can imagine why she did what she did, I cannot at all identify with her character and actions, thus I can’t find it in me to sympathize or empathize with her. 

On one hand, I do feel sorry for the poor girl and what she endured. Suicide is never the answer…at the same time, I’ve known many people who have committed suicide, yet their stories never gained the attention that she is getting…I’m just curious why her story that bullying, drugs, and alcohol led her to kill herself is so much more significant than someone elses…

@nepenthium@xanga - 

as for the first: yes, but so do ‘environmental influences’ (including such ‘influences’ that you bring upon yourself so to speak, for which there also is a reason), and it is not important to me what the cause was in cases like this one.

the second: first, again, I think *every* decision is nothing but a result of how your brain is structured, even when it tricks us into thinking we make choices. Why would she make certain choices if she had known how hurt she’ll end up and that she’ll kill herself?  Not everyone has all the experience of the world (totally regardless of their age) and I don’t think we can expect that people always do the right thing. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel less sympathy for a person, even when they make naive decisons. Moreover, we simply don’t know all factors. Why she didn’t tell her mother for example, is a good question. I can only guess why, and e.g. conclude that some families need to work on how they treat one anothers feelings.
I find it tragic. I would simply say it is wrong and leave it at that….maybe wonder how such decisions can be prevented. (the naivety, or the simply not doing what others think they might have done have a logical reason too. )
To answer your question, I was referring to all of her actions including suicide. (Actually I assumed you were too –in the very first comment you said that she chose to be a passive victim, and victim indicates that someone already put her down. I pretty much linked this to suicide itself I think) Anyway, depression also doesn’t come overnight,and the field that describes how able you are to make a choice (how many possibilities you even consider), has just as many grey shades as depression itself, so I don’t know where I would be supposed to draw the line between the two.

I think what you might be thinking is that people put too much emphasis on what others could have done, rather than on what could have been prevented by herself (right?).
If so, I don’t disagree that generally both is worth looking at. But I don’t think that acknowledging that at some points she might have reacted better for her own good, excludes feeling compassion for that person, nor looking for other solutions that we as the people who aren’t in a situation of that sort can find and initiate, in order to help people who are.

I’m starting to reapeat myself. I hope what I mean is clear now.

I do understand that you didn’t like the style of my first comment, and yes I could have been more diplomatic- I could have said what I said in this and the second one right away. My apologies.