That picture isn’t of my boyfriend and I, just to clarify. It’s just a picture of a very well-placed couple… But really, I feel that “I love you” has gotten such a huge reputation for being the ultimate phrase of love. It’s a good one! But I feel that there are other, very important ones that have more to do with lasting love. Here’s what I think they are!
1. “I respect you.”
Love is great, but respect is forever. I’m sure that every person has been in some relationship where the other person said “I love you” all the time, but then there were an awful problems all throughout. There wasn’t enough respect underneath all the chemistry. If a partner and another partner each respect each other, they’ll probably be able to give each other what they need more often. We’ll be able to be better friends, in addition to just-boyfriend-and-girlfriend. Which brings me to the next statement I think should be more revered…
2. “I’ll take care of it.”
Sooooooo many breakfast burritos and trips to the laundry room have resulted from this statement. But relationships thrive on everyone involved working on it. And sometimes, if I’ve had a bad day or if my partner is having a horrible day with his allergies, sometimes the other person will take on more of the day-to-day tasks. If someone in a relationship can ease your mental burden from day to day, that’s a very good thing. It’s a sign that they’re willing to sacrifice for you in small ways, which is a sign of devotion that goes beyond saying “I love you.”
3. “What do you mean by that?”
Sometimes when you’re communicating with your partner, it’s tempting to see them as never really going to be as right as you are. We all think this way, just because your partner’s probably the person to whom you’re closer to than anyone else. But taking the time to try and understand where your partner’s coming from is a sign that you want to believe that they can be right. You want to get them! This is why I love hearing this from my boyfriend — even if I’m babbling and aren’t making any sense, it’s a sign that he’s trying to understand me. And very encouraging!
4. “I need a break.”
Here’s something you don’t always hear from a partner, but it’s actually magic. Sometimes you just need to go out with the girls, cuddle up with a giant pillow, sip a homemade cocktail while listening to Ozzy, something that’s just about you. And you don’t want to say it in a way that offends your partner… but if they say, “Honey, I need a break. I’m going to go play Dungeons and Dragons,” you’re not offended at all! That’s because this phrase is all about self-care. If you can’t make taking care of yourself a priority, there’s no way you can be a good partner to anyone else. So stake out the bedroom, grab the Snuggie and put on that slasher movie! Your relationship depends on it!!
5. “Do what you have to do.”
Sure, this can be said at the end of a relationship when someone says that they need to leave. But this phrase can also pop up when one person needs a lot of time alone, or even if they just want to add more lemon juice to the fish that their lovely partner just cooked them. This phrase essentially translates as: “I give you permission to take care of yourself, even if it’s not to my benefit.” In a time when codependant relationships are in almost every rom-com you can find, this is a very good concept to adopt! If both of you are able to take care of yourselves, and allow the other person to do the same thing, then the relationship will probably end up a giant ball of circulating love. And who wouldn’t want that?!
Do you think there are more phrases that are just as good as “I love you”? Do you think these work for every relationship?
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guest
LOL at the picture paired with “I respect you”.
guest
Those phrases are very important, but “I love you” still gets top billing with me because it’s romantic. When a person says it, it should be significant and the person should really mean it and as a result they should generally treat the other person with respect and consideration. That’s how it supposed to be. Doesn’t happen for everyone. People make mistakes sometimes naturally, but if a person treats you like trash 95% of the time, and then tries to fix it with an “I Love You” obviously their “love” sucks! It’s not hard to tell when a person really means it, or when their version of “love” is worth you putting up with them. ”I love you” is a special romantic phrase to say (especially b/w a couple) and I do get fuzzy over it but I’ve never gotten fuzzy feelings from a “I respect you”.
guest
Definitely agree with #1. It takes a lot more to earn my respect than to earn my love. And I appreciate it better when people respect me more than they love me. The others are pretty good but I don’t see how it distinguishes a romantic relationship from just a regular close friendship like “I love you” does.
guest
I agree with a lot of these, but I don’t see why you need to say “I need a break” just to get some alone time. If I’m out with my friends or watching a movie or something, my boyfriend doesn’t expect a constant stream of communication. I just tell him I’m busy and that I’ll talk to him later, and it’s the same when he’s with his friends or playing video games – I guess I just don’t understand the need for constant communication.