Lovelyish

I overheard a guy yesterday saying, “Bro, if I graduate college and I don’t have an STD, I’ve failed.” I also saw a guy wearing a shirt that said, “I’d rather shower at Penn State than miss [some rugby tournament].”

I have no faith left in humanity.

None of these are annoying to me. If a dude wants to indirectly compliment me by saying I’m dressed all fancy, I won’t complain. If he wants to consider me one of his friends I also won’t complain. The only thing that made me raise my eyebrow was being called sweetie. I would prefer it if only the guy I was dating called me sweetie.

i love being called dude/bro/man!

Hmm I hate being called dude or bro too.  I also hate when guys (or even girls I guess) call me chief, boss, my friend, big guy, stud, etc.  I guess calling me anything other than hey you.

Just because you like all kinds of music doesn’t mean you still don’t prefer one over another.  Which do you listen to most often? If you really only have a playlist that you listen to all day everyday that goes from country to classical to gangster rap, to show tunes, to r&b to disney songs etc. Then I’d believe you really have no preference of music.  However, most people while enjoying multiple if not all types of music tend to cycle between a few genres most often.  So when someone asks you what kind of music are you into they’re just asking what your favorite style of music is, not really asking “So you only like 1 type of music right? What is it??”  It is actually a pretty valid question when getting to know someone.

Do you generally dress up? Sure “wow you’re all fancy” is the wrong way to say it, but they’re basically saying, dang you look good today. Should just take it as a compliment and not worry about being dressed inappropriately.  I get the same comment from guys (and girls) when I decide to wear a suit, or a half suit as opposed to my general jeans. I just take it and walk on.  Unless you’re wearing something extravagant like a prom dress you’re probably fine.

Ok done heh.

Re: are you pregnant: pregnant bellies look VERY different than bloated bellies. Lower and rounder, guys. You can tell. But if it’s a stranger, why would you even ask?

i don’t mind being called dude. or sweetie. or the fancy comment. 

I dont mind “dude” because I have a bad habit of calling everyone “dude”.

The “time of the month” question is definitely a no-no. You would think guys would learn that isnt ok, considering 99% of the time we get pissed lol.I CANNOT stand when creepy Indian guys ask me “you’re Indian, yeah?” YES I am, my grandparents are from Goa, but that DOES NOT mean we are gonna hook up! (and it’s not just the question but the way they leer at me…)

I asked a girl what time she got off work, once. I appreciated her politeness since I lived outside at the time and probably hadn’t showered in close to or over a week, with baggy clothes and perhaps visible suspenders. Maybe I’ve said something like you look fancy, too. Oh well. We can’t be perfect. 

My fiance and I use the terms bro and dude as our terms of endearment.  

If he ever calls me sweetie, honey, or any other cutesy name though, I get mad.  I call my pets those things.  I don’t want to be called the same thing as my pets.  

“Is it that time of the month?”

… Just don’t. 

OH MY GOD I HATE THAT. Guh. How about “no, you’re just really irritating.”

I’ve never met a young adult who still uses those terms that you’ve mentioned above, besides bro/dude. They must be really immature.

@JusticeCho@xanga - 

i don’t see how you can complain about being called “ bro, chief, boss, my friend, big guy, ” .. etc. by a stranger. they’re obviously trying to be nice to you, before they’ve even gotten to know your name (and before they’ve realised that you’re so uptight about such simple/nice gestures).

at least they’re not calling you derogatory names.

@LeeKymKween@xanga - Well I’m not really complaining, just saying I don’t like it.  True it could be worse and be derogatory, though I actually kind of prefer derogatory terms because that feels more direct.  The others I listed always seem/feel demeaning when I hear people say them (either to me or to others), but they’re masked in a semi positive light…kind of.

I hate it when guys tell me to smile! this image came to mind when you said that: http://www.thedebonaire.com/2011/03/this-is-just-how-my-face-looks.html

it seems like they’re trying to tell me how i should feel and act in public. i’m sure most of them don’t realize that, but that’s exactly what that is. they would never tell another dude to smile, so don’t tell me to either. and 99% of the time, i’m in a great mood, although i don’t have a smile plastered on my face. THIS IS JUST HOW MY FACE LOOKS.
a dude told me to smile at a bar one time and it irritated me so much that i immediately shot back with “i will as soon as you stop talking to me.” i guess it was just my time of the month or something…

they made a list, now we have one.  Good for us.  and I agree.  I hate the “fancy” term too.  I just think  YOU SHOULD TRY IT TOO sometime.  -.-   guys do love a girl that dresses up.  so come on, men, let’s even the playing field a little.  

Love it when guys say “Smile” gives me an excuse to pull the most absurd face I can muster.

i don’t mind being called bro or dude, but i’m not a fan of pet names if i’m not your girlfriend. i really don’t like when guys ask me when my shift ends or what my hours are in the week or something similar to that. please, just stop. this is the wrong way to go about it. and if someone ever asked me if it was my time of the month, i’d tell them no, i just don’t like you.

it’s not just guys that tell me to smile. i guess i have a ‘bitch face’ so when i’m just relaxed, it looks like i’m upset. when i’m at work, people come up to me all the time and go, ‘geez, come on and smile a bit!’ or ‘don’t look so down!’ that’s when i tell them that my dog has just died and thanks for bringing it up.

Either you know some really rude guys or you bloat seriously hardcore. 

I love being called dude or bro. I try to separate my self from the idea of what a woman is so this makes me feel like I have done a good job.

Just NEVER call me baby, babe, babes and sweetie, or sweetie pie… You will never gain a positive view from me if you do it more than once.

I’d prefer people to ask what music I like and they will always get the same answer “not country ”  I hate country music and its the only thing anyone ever plays so if they ask that means I am less likely to hear it.
I rarely ever act like someone PMSing so I never get that other than from me bf or my mom, which are both just concerned with my health.
I try to get as many people as I can to have a good day. If I see a person working as cash register and they don’t look like they are having a good day I try to cheer them up even if it is just a smile. A smile can change how you feel in a positive way  even if its not at first.

haha, I agree with all of these except the last one. I say dude all the time. 

These don’t rattle me to the core or anything, but they do irritate me a bit. The only one that really pisses me off is when my guy friends ask me if I’m PMSing or if it’s “that week” just because I’m having a bad day, so now I ask them the same thing when they’re complaining about something.

@misswheeler - Exactly! Thanks for sharing, that’s exactly how I feel.

@Thatslifekid@xanga - Thanks, totally doing that next time it happens!

Good things to keep in mind! Thanks for the post!

Lol most of these don’t bother me, but I totally agree you about the asking for your schedule thing.. I used to HATE that. Not only is it creepy as hell but when I’m busy I don’t need the added stress of smiling at you & trying to make some time to talk to you when the entire room is demanding my attention. If you think I’m cute, ask me out so I can say yes or no but do NOT stalk me.. & then they get all offended & go, “You were only nice to me for a tip!!” ….right, well, I’m sorry I only make 5 bucks an hour & rely on your tips to pay my bills. I was trained to act really nice (after all, this is food service we’re talking about.. service with a smile?) & will probably get fired if I’m not. Don’t take it so personally; a waitress or bartender gets hit on almost every five fricken minutes by some drunk ass.. after awhile we get really sick of it.

I also hate it when guys ask if you’re ticklish.. & no matter your answer, they have to tickle you.. I’m always like, “I’ll give you ten seconds to stop before I punch you in the balls.”

Answer for “When do you get off?”…”When my boyfriend goes down on me” heh heh

The “fancy” comment totally depends on the tone. The approving raised eyebrows thing, I’ll take it. The disparaging tone…they don’t deserve to be seen out with me looking as fine as I do. humph

I hate when they say “come on, don’t be mad” and give me a punch in the shoulder. Like I should shrug off their assholery and be “one of the guys” because 45 minutes later you know the LAST thing he wants me to be is “one of the guys”.

These are all pretty silly. I love it when my boyfriend tells me to smile, because he smiles when he says it. I enjoy talking about music with people, and there’s a simple answer to that question. “I’m mostly into ____.” or “I like a lot of different stuff. Recently my favorite artists are ____, ____, and _____.” You don’t have to make it any more complicated. I basically announce to people that it’s my time of the month when it is, and when it’s not I’m still a bitch most of the time. I can understand why people would ask that, and I just reply, “Nope. I’m a jerk all month long.” If a guy ever thought I was pregnant and I wasn’t he would have to be younger than 12. At that point I woudn’t think too much of it. Being called fancy is not a negative thing. Take it as a compliment, say thank you, and chill out. If you can’t handle being hit on 24/7, don’t choose to work at a place where this would happen. I like being called sweetie, I dunno what you’re talking about there. It’s better than being call slut, ho, etc. And I call people dude all the time, so it’s totally cool if they call me that back.

You seriously need to lighten up a little bit. You’re never gonna find a man that doesn’t do any of these things. Suck it up and move on, dude.

xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx

@ask_ashleyyy@xanga - Thank the feminists for that.

@Broken_Black_Moon@xanga - My boyfriend doesn’t do any of these things! : )

@WaitingToShrug@xanga - neither! 

@Kim - So you don’t bloat very badly, but some dudes still ask you if you’re pregnant? How is that not rude!? I’d be pissed!