Yesterday was my first day at my new job. And though I’ve been doing a happy dance since the company extended an offer to me, it’s been marred by pangs of sheer panic. I feel way out of my league — I even seriously considered calling them to ask if they’d mixed up my resume with a genius’.
And so I knew there was only one way I was going to make it through the scary terrifying first day. The solution?
A great pair of undies.
You see, my mom has always been full of awkward-yet-surprisingly-practical advice. From “you gotta test drive it before you marry it” to “pick a man who will help you most on a deserted island,” her insight has always stuck with me.
But no pearl of wisdom has been as useful as her underwear theory.
When I went bra-shopping for the first time, I was going through a serious tomboy phase. The thought of needing any of the pink or purple bralets was repulsive to me, let alone my mom’s insistence that I get matching tops and bottoms.
“WHY! Nobody can even see it!!!!,” I’d wail, wishing I were a boy.
My mom’s answer was simple, and changed my life:
“It just makes you feel good, doesn’t it?”
Her point was that even though nobody could see my rainbowed, patterned undergarments, I knew they were there. I could strut around knowing I had on an awesome pair of underwear, and it was my own secret, for no one’s benefit but my own. As I grew older and began to appreciate my femininity, shopping for silly undies and even lingerie became just another way to express myself, albeit in a (mostly) secret, personal way.
And besides all that, there is just no greater feeling in the world than slipping into a brand new pair of panties. It makes me feel like I could take on the world, even if I’m just lounging in my pjs.
So without further ado, I want to take a moment to thank my new seamless, soft-as-butter, striped briefs: you really got me through my stressful day.
And now that I’ve shared my slightly-embarrassing, go-to confidence booster, I wanna hear about yours!
(While you’re at it, check out my gallery of seriously cool undies…they’d have me dancing on tables!)