Is AIM still around? The AOL Instant Messenger craze that controlled an embarrassing portion of my social life in high school hasn’t come to mind in years. Some people easily inherited the gift of cyber-gab and mastered the cacophonous and regressive typing style 0F tHi$ uNw3Lc0m3 fAd, but instant messaging never fully clicked for me. I spent the majority of my time hovering my mouse over my crush, too chicken to drum up a cohesive icebreaker that could possibly lead to TRUE LOVE. Looking back, it’s practically humbling to see the ridiculous art of “the away message”, which I deem the version 1.0 sapling of today’s Facebook status updates. Good thing someone fashioned a time machine dated to 2000 via Twitter to share the odd, disjointed away messages of yore.

You know what really got me riled up during the days of AOL Instant Messenger? When an acquaintance would send me “Hey”, then I’d reply “Hi!” and then the Earth stood still. Where did you see this conversation going, girl I kinda know? Why are you leaving it up to me? Okay, I guess I’ll talk about my crappy day and THE WEATHER. This away message sums up my view entirely:

Did you tend to stay logged in for hours, days, even weeks? And when you were cruelly torn away from your beloved computer, you left a love letter promising your return? And your away message simply stated “sleep….” so you could awake with anticipation for left messages? Well I hate you because we had dial-up and I couldn’t stay on the internet long enough before my mom had to call her sisters. Life was unbearable; my crush’s username needed hovering over.

Were you an AIM devotee? Do these away messages sound anything like yours’ or your friends’ from years ago?

[via @YourAwayMessage]