No matter how old you are or how long you’ve been in a relationship with someone, moving in with someone is a huge step. It’s often seen as a super-romantic step, a deep sign of your commitment to each other, and the source of great moving-in gags. Yeah. Sure. Here’s what all those rom-coms don’t tell you about moving in together.
Let me preface this slideshow by saying that my partner is awesome, and I am under an unofficial contract to bake him something if his feelings are hurt. After I send this post to his mother, of course.
1. There’s going to be a lot more s**t in the house.
As in a lot more. And you two have to decide what to keep and what to throw out, which could lead to some conflict. It’s not fun to make a case for why your Babysitters Club book collection deserves more space than his Japanese XBOX games.
2. You realize just how disgusting your partner really is.
Your partner might be the hottest person on the entire planet, but they still sneeze, fart, shed hair, and drool when they sleep. Yes they do.
3. You realize just how crazy you are.
Apparently I put away clothes the second they come out of the dryer, drink my weight in Diet Coke every day, and sleep like a mermaid who’s tragically dying after being washed up on shore. I had no idea about any of these things until I moved in with George. But apparently crazy habits can grow when you live by yourself for a while…
4. You develop waaaay too many inside jokes.
If you live together, you struggle with tiny stuff all the time (like the grungy rag under the dish drying rack). And so you have a lot more inside jokes (“Stop poking me or I’ll slap you with the dish rag!”) to choose from.
5. Your daily routines get all messed up.
You know how you like to get breakfast right after waking up, then check your e-mail, do your hair, get dressed, then run to catch the bus? Well now you share a bathroom and kitchen with someone else. So you may have for his English muffin to toast before you can put your bagel in. Or style your hair before everything else so that your partner can shower while you’re on the Internet. It can be a little nerve-wracking. Or song-inspiring!
6. Everyone will ask you when you two are getting engaged.
Not matter how many times you say, “Not yet!” or “At least not for a little while,” it will make no difference. None.
7. Everyone will think you moved in together too soon.
No matter how long you’ve been together, I guarantee you’ll get this reaction most of the time. Thankfully, I can say this whenever someone makes that comment: “I had bedbugs at my old place, and he offered me a place to live. What would you have done, people?”
8. Your money isn’t 100% private information anymore.
You’re now forced to pay bills with your partner, to say nothing of groceries and general stuff for the house. And Lovelies, whoever you live with is going to see when you splurge on a swanky pair of shoes or a designer dress. And they might ask you about it. It doesn’t mean that they don’t love or trust you. It just means that they want to make sure you can fulfill your half of the financial burden. Your fortunes are now tied together, metaphorically and literally. So be prepared to share a little!
9. You might feel guilty doing your own thing (even though you shouldn’t).
I know, I know, it’s stupid. But when you live with a romantic partner, you might feel like you have to do everything together all the time (you know, to show them that you love them and care about them). But as this article points out, it’s actually good to spend time apart. That way he won’t totally resent you for dragging him along to your activities, and vice versa.
10. Their day will affect your day much more acutely (and vice versa).
If you had a bad day and you were living apart from your partner, you’d probably stomp around your apartment, vent about it a little bit to your mom or roommate, and probably have it out of your system once it came time for you two to have dinner together. But now, your place to vent is also their place to vent. Which means that you’ll inevitably have to learn to be a lot more patient with each other’s moods.
11. Dates will become much more important.
When you live with a romantic partner, it’s very easy to let cheesy romantic stuff fall by the wayside. You’re living with your partner, for Pete’s sake. That means you got them, right? Well, yeah. But if the original spark goes out of the relationship just because a lot of the mystery is gone, you’ll each get bored. Which could lead to bad things.
What’s the solution? Do new romantic things together. Go to that freaky new restaurant and order the thing you can’t pronounce. Put up a tent in the living room and sleep in it overnight. Don’t just sit on the couch and watch The Big Bang Theory every night!
12. You’ll each open up about your dreams for the future.
Thanks to us living together, my partner now knows that I dream of owning a VW New Beetle, walking the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage, and owning a Bichon Frise. Why did I tell him these things? Because those decisions could ultimately affect his future too. If you’re planning to live with a partner, that’s basically a proclamation that you’re considering being with them for a good long while. It’s like with money thing — you’re pairing up in a much more solid, permanent way than you have before. So they might want to know about your random hopes and goals!
This is a rule every co-habitating couple I know swears by: I have my office space, and they have theirs. We do not enter the others’ space unless we are invited. This way, we don’t drive each other crazy when we’re trying to get serious stuff done. And so we don’t kill each other.
14. When something is wrong, it’ll be much more evident.
When you don’t live with someone, you’ll probably have to guess a little if you think something’s bothering them. Do they seem distracted? Is their tone harsher? Do their eyes dart around more?
When you live with someone, it becomes a bit easier to tell.
15. You’ll become friends, as well as partners/lovers.
Because who wouldn’t want a romantic partner they can play XBOX and prank the neighbors with?
Do you live with your romantic partner? Tell us your story!