A few years ago, I encountered an article describing Tilda Swinton’s open relationship. She has twins with her partner of over two decades, but has also been seeing a younger artist (pictured above) on the side since 2004. Her husband, Scottish artist John Byrne, also has a girlfriend of his own. In fact, the entire group (along with the children) often takes trips together. Both external lovers each have Tilda and John’s blessing to live in harmony. How does she manage to make this work?
Are there other essentials between two lovers that are more important than fidelity? What other celebrities have or have had open relationships?
There is no doubt that outside dalliances can have a range of effects. If your spouse or significant other permits sex outside of your relationship, where does the intimacy lie between the two of you now? This effect may yield somewhat of a security blanket union — dabble in the pleasures of others, but always have someone to come home to. If the balance of outside advances is thrown off, jealousy could come into play despite your wishes of your new-found trust never reaching that point. Is an open relationship worth the possible negative outcomes?
What if this rift in monogamy leans to one side rather than equally balancing between both partners? If couples are willing to venture out of their socially acceptable constraints, what lines can be crossed or blurred without going too far and hurting the relationship they are trying to enrich? All of these questions are surmounted by one uneasy and frank concern: No matter how much you love someone, is it enough?
I was voluntarily raised on the romantic concepts that Disney movies would spew out: There is one soulmate for you, and he is most likely a prince with good hair. Just one guy for the rest of your life and you will be happy and don’t ask questions, impressionable little girl! Since our society is embedded in monogamous trends, is an open relationship looked down on because of its means or just its alien nature to our upbringing?
Who knows if those Disney couples lived happily ever after. Entering adulthood, I realized how difficult relationships can be, and that your dream guy that you tell your friends “HE’S THE ONE!” about can end up throwing your relational mindset in a tizzy. We break up with the ones we love for many reasons, but does the “all or nothing” mentality apply to every break-up? Could the openness between two consenting adults be a reasonable cure to a faltering relationship? Or better yet, an emotional tie that can be altered as you please, because who says relationships have to be a certain way? This is your life and if you both seem fit for a new perspective in your union, there is nothing holding you back besides your own apprehension.
Some may say that openness is an insult to the institution of marriage, but is it worse than hidden adultery, domestic violence or settling depression? Taking hold of your marriage and mutually living it in a way that works best for both parties could very well save it, but take hold with caution!
See more famously open relationships in the gallery.
How do you feel about open relationships? Have you ever been in one or would you consider it?




rose / 812 posts
Why is this on lovelyish? o.0
guest
I’ve never had the … Opportunity? Experience? … To try an open relationship. I can see the potential of it as well as the negative outcomes. I think it depends on the relationship and how much trust I have in my partner. As of right now, I say it’s a no go for me. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t turn it down, depending on the situation.
guest
i have one. its perfect.
and it does work as long as everyone is honest.
orchid / 119 posts
Obviously it can work. It doesn’t work for everyone, no, but these stories prove that monogomy doesn’t work for everyone, either. Monogomy is a fairly new idea, people have had multiple partners their whole lives and been just fine with it until whoever decided that we should be stuck with one person for the rest of their lives and now people have it forced into their brains that that’s right and whatever these people do is wrong. Let people do their own thing, if they’re in an open relationship and happy – what’s the problem? “Normal” relationships have problems and are unsuccessful too.
guest
you will have your answer if you can figure our the basis of absolute monogamy.
guest
Obviously it can work, but they’re not for everyone. I certainly wouldn’t do it.
guest
I don’t think they usually work. I think most people vastly over rate their own abilities to accept something as complicated and unconventional as an open relationship. Lots of people pride themselves on their capabilities for being rational, open-minded, and secure- and they over estimate those qualities in themselves and their partners. Of course, you can be rational, open-minded, and secure and NOT be okay with an open relationship- for some reason, a lot of people are starting to believe that there is virtue in being permissive and experimental with sexual experiences. I don’t believe that, but I also don’t believe that it is immoral to be permissive and experimental- I think it’s a moral choice that must be decided by each individual.
If open relationships are really how they want to live, that’s not my business. I hope they came to the conclusion through reason that it would make them happy. I don’t think that’s usually the case though.
No, I wouldn’t and haven’t done it. I would hate for my husband to be with another woman, and honestly, the idea of being with another man turns me off.
guest
Of course it can work. It’s not something I’m interested in but I do know people who are and it seems to be going well for them.
guest
Open Relationships? naaa it should be said in the rightful way, Pimping each other. That’s what it is.
sunflower / 451 posts
I don’t care what other people do with their relationships, beyond it being interesting. But an open relationship is not something I want for myself. Most of the time, when I’m interested in someone, I really honestly want only that person. I think if I were in an open relationship, it would be my partner who wanted more side relationships/flings/whatever, I wouldn’t really want to be with others, and I’d be really trying to be cool with it, but never quite able to get to that point.
I don’t really believe in “the one” or in soulmates (well, maybe a little), but I do believe in being monogamous with the person I’m seeing at the time. Just not necessarily falling in love with only one person in a lifetime.
guest
It would never be my choice. I’m a one-man woman..
guest
Different things work for different people and if they have that much trust i each other, more power to them.
If they’re happy and not hurting each other,let them do what makes them happy.
For me, though…no.
I don’t like sharing. At all. I dont like being shared.
sunflower / 397 posts
I could never do it. I don’t share my man and I don’t want to be shared.