I know it’s totally laughable, but some people want to believe that a possible zombie apocalypse is upon us. I can’t deny the amount of crimes in the past few weeks that involve people eating other people. Those things happen, I guess. But, are they happening more often? Or are we just hearing about it more because we have access to an insane amount of social media that provides us with this kind of information? 

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have denied the existence of zombies, despite having released a few tongue-in-cheek zombie warnings. Like the Boy Scouts, they just want to be prepared for whatever may happen…because, really, no one knows. It’s highly unlikely, but yes, zombies could happen. I kinda think they wont be so much ‘the living dead’, it would probably be more like something from ‘The Hot Zone‘ by Richard Preston or some type of plague like ’28 Days Later’. I suppose it depends on your definition of ‘zombie‘.

Either way, here are 5 types of foods Huffington Post (and I) suggest you keep on hand that will most definitely help you survive the possible zombie apocalypse (should it happen, because it might, but probably not.)

1. Foods that prevent lactic acid build-up
This is super important if you want to prevent those horrible leg cramps caused by running…because you’ll be doing a whole lot of running.
Eat Foods with a lot of iron.

2. Foods that are non-perishable
Non-perishable foods take forever to go bad and they don’t have to be refrigerated. Keep these types of food (and maybe a can opener) around and you will never go hungry when you are hiding out for a couple weeks waiting for this whole zombie mess to be over.

3. Spicy Foods
This is super smart. Make yourself too slippery for the zombies!! What happens when you eat a lot of spicy foods? You sweat! Sweat makes you slippery…too slippery for the zombies to grab hold and devour your brains. Just go ahead and buy yourself a bottle of sriracha and carry it everywhere with you, not only will it keep zombies at bay, it’s so delish on practically everything.

4. Brains related foods and brain candy
Duh, to trick the zombies. It might work. If nothing else, you can throw the can of pork brains at its face and haul ass.

5. Energy Drinks/Caffeine
How else can you stay awake all night defending your life? You must be alert in these types of situations. I suggest brief power naps (no more than 20 minutes) and make sure someone is on lookout. Slam a post nap 5 hour energy and live to see another day.

What do you think about the ‘zombie apocalypse conspiracy’? What would you pack in a zombie attack survival kit?

[top img source]
[via huffpost]