When I was a child, it was quite obvious that not everybody was considered beautiful. Somewhere along the way, political correctness or jealousy or simple fairness began insisting that everyone was indeed beautiful after all. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” they reminded everyone. And such sentiments are quite old, very old. And while they are indeed true, what I consider to be beautiful may not be what you consider to be beautiful; but for me it is true, and what you consider beautiful is true for yourself.
But, this has led to something slightly different. It has led everyone to think they are beautiful, every one of us, all of us… if not in our own eyes, surely in everybody else’s. I think the end result of this is unnecessary vanity, and a lack of appreciation for true beauty.
If I don’t fit my own mental image of beauty, I can just change how I look with makeup. Now, generally speaking I don’t care much since I don’t have a problem with makeup. But we now have all kinds of gurus on the internet to show us how to artificially be beautiful with makeup. I know I’m contradicting myself here, because I just said that I have no problem with makeup, but I mean makeup to cover up some flaws or highlight a nice feature, like eyes or high cheekbones. But we’ve come so far with makeup and this insistence that everyone is beautiful that I think we’ve forced women into making themselves into something they are not. Nothing wrong with looking your best, but how about still looking like yourself?
With this loose standard of beauty, I wonder if we’ve led a generation of women into placing too much emphasis on beauty. Like a teen looks in the mirror and she doesn’t feel or see that she’s beautiful like everyone is supposed to be. She may spend more time on makeup and hair to create a false image of herself. And since we place an emphasis on it, she will receive positive feedback on how great she now looks. And her confidence may be fake or misguided. Turns out she’s “hot” just like everyone else after all. And now, we’ve taught our daughters that confidence comes only from how we look, not mostly from what’s inside.
I blame this mostly on the belief that everyone is beautiful. Guess what, not everyone is beautiful. And guess what, that should actually be the least of anyone’s worries. Turns out beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and someone, somewhere out there will find you beautiful in some natural way. I’m not suggesting people throw away their makeup, not in the least. But cover up some acne or scars or dark circles but don’t contour at all. Keep your general look and be happy with the way you look. We can’t all be considered beautiful by most people we walk past, like Cyndi Crawford or Brooke Shields or Megan Fox, but that is very much okay, even I dare say acceptable. Let the beautiful people be beautiful! We all have something we are good at and imagine how much it would suck if the best thing you were good at was only looking beautiful to a lot of people… don’t get you anywhere these days.
We’ve deadened beauty by exclaiming everyone is beautiful! (Much different concept than someone will find you beautiful.) We’ve placed too much value on beauty. It’s at the point where we may not know what beauty really is and simply say it because we’re supposed to rather than truly feeling it. And then the downside comes, when someone tells us we’re beautiful we either think they are lying or exaggerating all while trying to falsely make us feel good or get into our pants. And inside we don’t feel any better about ourselves. I know I kinda feel worse. Like I’m not looking for compliments when I say that I don’t look good today. I’m just whining. lol But it makes me feel like someone is unnecessarily lying to me just to make me feel good.
I don’t like to be lied to, even if they are trying to make me feel good. If I’m good at playing card games, cool tell me. I know I am. I can measure that. If you tell me I’m good at drawing, I know you’re bullshitting me because most children draw better than me. But If I say that I don’t look good, I’m stating a fact. It means nothing more than that, because I don’t place too much value on beauty anyway. I just worry I’m scaring people or something. And then someone says, “Oh, no you’re beautiful”… malarkey! I can’t measure that, I can’t tell if you mean it these days. It’s overused, overtold, and overneeded! (I made that word up all by myself.)
I just wish people could get to the point that we place little value on looks and more value on actions. How we treat each other is far more important than how we look while doing it. And don’t tell someone they are beautiful when you don’t really, truly think so. Tell them what you do like about them. Once I complained that I think I look really mean when I wear glasses, and someone said that it didn’t matter because I was a funny person and didn’t act mean!
Wow, isn’t that what is actually most important? I should think so!
The “Yes, You’re The Fairest Of Them All” poster can be found at vol25′s Etsy here.