Ever feel like your boyfriend or significant other doesn’t compliment you enough? Maybe he’s tried, and you didn’t accept the compliment the way he wished you would have. He says, “Your hair looks nice.” And you say, “Ugh. No it doesn’t. I’m having a bad hair day.” I’ve been there plenty of times.
A lot of my friends who are in relationships want their boyfriends/fiances to shower them with compliments and tell them they look nice, their hair is cute, they smell nice, etc. But sometimes guys (my guy in particular) give us girls these compliments and we don’t respond the way they want us to. Or they are just afraid to compliment us.
In the beginning, my guy thought that girls expected compliments to be over-the-top with extravagant words and whatnot. In reality, I just wanted to be noticed by him. But still, guys sometimes decide not to compliment us because they’re afraid their compliment won’t be worthy. My guy fit that category, especially when we first got together.
For the guys who do like complimenting us ladies, they sometimes get mixed signals. If we’re having a bad day, we might just brush off a compliment. (I do this constantly. It’s terrible.) Or if you’ve been with the same guy for a long time, his compliments might seem overdone or boring if you’ve heard them oh say, a hundred times. My fiance will compliment me, and I won’t make a big deal out of it. But if someone I don’t know compliments me, I get so excited.
I love getting compliments, especially when I feel like I look like a million bucks. It’s easy to accept compliments when I feel great. Sometimes it’s not so easy to accept compliments when I’m having an off day.
My advice for guys is to compliment us ladies when you do notice something you like about us. And don’t try too hard. A simple “you look nice” is always great to hear. My advice for you ladies: accept a compliment no matter how bad you think you look. Show him you care when he compliments you so that he will continue to compliment you.
And here’s a trick: If you want him to compliment you, smile at him and ask, “What do you think?” He’ll get the hint!
Do you like to get compliments? What is your favorite compliment to hear?
rose / 948 posts
Once in awhile, yes. Being showered by it? It would annoy me so much…
guest
I enjoy receiving compliments from my significant other. He doesn’t do it all the time, mind you, but I like how he goes about complimenting me when I least expect it. As for my favorite compliment(s), he says “You’re beautiful” or “You’re caring, thoughtful, and kind”. I can’t help, but smile when he pays me a compliment.
guest
I’m not in a relationship, but I’ve practiced this technique to a point in which I really accept all compliments.
A guy at work I thought had potential complemented me twice, in a manner which seemed very genuine:
“Your eyes are so pretty…thats the most beautiful color of purple I’ve ever seen”
and
“Your necklace is cute…beautiful, actually”
To which I responded “Aww why thank you!” with a big smile.
guest
I like your profile photo. How’s that?
guest
@Shadowrunner81@xanga - *ahem* what about mine?
guest
@laetitia_luv@xanga - Well the sunglasses make it hard for me to tell what you really look like. But if I go by sunglasses I’d say you have awesome taste in sunglasses.
guest
@Shadowrunner81@xanga - *sigh* oh, alright, i guess that’s good enough.
orchid / 205 posts
There is no real “secret” to getting compliments. just be natural. get rid of those goddy sunglasses that women only wear because they intentionally neglected makeup.
Wear comfortable clothingWhen you are given a compliment, accept it as that and nothing more, whether it be from a boyfriend or a random stranger.
guest
I like getting compliments from other women because they are usually catty, so when one does compliment me, it seems rare, and omg
you actually have something nice to say about me
some lady said that she wants to look like me because I look so good to her
so a female admits their jealousy and admiration for me
but when a guy compliments me, it is nice and I get shy
but their compliment isn’t out of jealousy, but probably lust
which is different. it is nice to feel desirable but my ego gets more stroked when it is out of envy
when guys call me pretty, it is like…oh, you again, and you’re saying the same thing
it is too predictable and not surprising. yeah, one should be grateful for any positive compliment but what gets to me is if they noticed specific details, such as if I cut my hair, and I don’t drastically change my hairstyle, so it usually isn’t even noticable when I have a haircut, and it would be like wow, you actually noticed I got a haircut when it was such a subtle change
you paid attention
or if my crush suddenly asks me how is my day and how nice I look today even if he didn’t really mean it and it was just to be nice, it would still make my day since I was caught off guard
the unexpected, random compliments are rather awesome. of course, if it was my bf, then his compliments would usually tickle my fancy
it depends on the context. if he was showering me with compliments after an arguement to get me to not be mad again, then it probably won’t work.
guest
I hate it when people fish for compliments, and when people are seemingly NEVER happy when their boyfriend says something nice about how they look.
I get a decent amount of compliments and I just smile and say “Aww, thank you, that’s really nice of you!” and maybe hug the person too.
guest
I like getting compliments. Makes me feel that he still sees me that way
guest
I appreciate compliments. I’m not the type of person that validates my self-worth on compliments, but they are a nice gesture. They aren’t rare for me because I’m a nice, genuine person. I believe people sense that. I always accept the compliment with a gracious smile and ‘thank you.’ Though, my sister has trouble and will reply with a comment showing her self-consciousness. That is unfortunate because it only seems as if you are begging for more attention when you go back and forth with someone over an opinion.
guest
@TheFashionableEconomist@xanga - I agree. I went to dinner with a now ex and he told me about ten times how good he thought I looked in the dress I wore. The first couple of times I told him thanks. When it persisted I told him “Oh my god I get it.”
My usual reaction to compliments is to say thank you and to return it. “I like your shoes!” ‘Thanks, I love your hair!” A lot of times when a boy tells me I’m beautiful, I giggle and say “Oh whatever.” Even though I say something disagreeable, I smile and make it obvious that I enjoyed it.
guest
Sure compliments are nice I guess, but i think its more important to give compliments to others…rather then fish for compliments….. Sometimes I feel girls (not all fo course!) are so wrapped up in getting noticed they forget something, their boyfriends like to be complimented once and a while too…
guest
I don’t think I really crave compliments from guys…?
rose / 948 posts
@Shytooth@xanga - haha, my point exactly, “OK, I GET IT!!”
rose / 834 posts
@P0RCELA1N_D0LL@xanga - I know what you mean, about lady compliments.
I love overhearing a lady complimenting me to her friend. Once I was out with my bf walking in the city and we overheard a lady dining with her friend on the street say “Oh my god I love her legs!”. Comments overheard about you that are nice make me smile too.
A lot of times a guy might compliment you without even knowing he is. One of my friends said “I noticed you don’t just stroll along when you walk – you walk with a purpose, even when we’re just wandering around”. That honestly made my day!
guest
Yes I do love it! hehe specially the “you look nice” after spending some time doing my hair which ends up being all messy no matter what I try anyway!
guest
the secret to getting compliments from strangers and people you know: look good.
sunflower / 499 posts
They are nice to hear, but I don’t know how to accept them well.
guest
I love compliments, and I don’t understand why they’re so hard to accept. whether you believe it or not, the polite thing to do is say thank you.
Its just a nice gesture, like someone holding the door for you. they do it, you say thank you.
guest
I love showering my bf with compliments and he always compliment me about 10x day. However I really dislike ambiguous compliments like “you look nice”, it’s very superficial and meaningless. I only get those from strangers. People I know give me more specific compliments like, I like that shirt, or your eyes are pretty, etc.