Choose wisely, people.
I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure that when I die, whether it’s sooner or later, the digital footprint that I leave behind will probably be bigger than any paper trail my family members could dredge up. Sure, there are the photos my parents have collected over the years, and that one shoebox in my closet filled with notes from high school which are all folded into that weird, semi-elaborate square, and like four diaries, most of which say, effectively, that boys drool. My online presence, though, paints a clearer picture of the person I’ve become – it’s an accumulation of all the interactions I’ve had with people that I love and people that I hate, it’s a twisted journey through a bunch of questionable nights (the pictures from which I should probably delete from every earthly mode of digital storage), and most importantly, it’s a digest of things I’ve felt worth sharing with the world at large over the past few years. At least for me —as horrible a confession as this may seem— point blank: the internet is a huge part of who I am. Deep, I know.
And it seems I’m not the only one who thinks that, given some new laws that are being drawn up in a few mid-western states. Basically, the new policies are trying to give family members automatic access to their deceased relative’s social media accounts (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.), claiming them as “digital assets”. That way, family members can browse their loved one’s page and view pictures without having to jump through any hoops. And believe me, right now, there are hoops.
Take for example, an Oklahoma mother who lost her 22-year-old son in a motorcycle accident. The grieving woman wanted to gain access to her son’s Facebook account in order to “learn more about the young man she had lost”. She contacted Facebook, asking them to maintain his account so she could visit it (she had his password). Facebook, those jerks, responded by blocking her access to her son’s page, and the woman had to sue the social media site in order to restore her ability to view it. The new laws are in effort to avoid messy, weird stuff like this.
It’s not clear whether or not family members will be given access purely by default or if you will actually be able to name the recipients of your “digital assets” in a will. Either way, it totally puts into perspective the fact that what you do on the internet could really, deeply affect your loved ones, even posthumously.
It also makes me ask myself: should a freak accident occur in the next 5 days, would it be wise of me to overhaul all my social media accounts now or just apologize to my poor mother in advance? (via Jezebel)
If you made an online will now, who would get your Facebook when you die? Would you be willing to let your parents or family have access to your online accounts?
rose / 948 posts
nothingness
guest
Huh… I never thought about it. I would allow my current boyfriend to take it over for a second. Delete anything family may dislike and then let the family have it if they want. Otherwise delete my xanga and facebook accounts. Including emails.
sunflower / 255 posts
I’ve often wondered when I’ve known people to die, what has happened to their facebook accounts.
Personally, my hubby already has access to all my accounts (except for Tumblr and Xanga) so I’m not too fussed, and there’s nothing really on my facebook that my parents don’t see anyway. Surely though, your pages should just somehow be deleted when you die, why keep them?
guest
never thought about it…
sunflower / 327 posts
I don’t want anyone to have access to something I don’t want them to know, even after I die. That includes phone, whatsapp, and Facebook messages.
sunflower / 480 posts
I don’t know when I’m going to die so it would be the person who has my password(s) and that happens to be my partner.
guest
Too bad I don’t have a Facebook and no one except my boyfriend and 3 or 4 close friends know about my Xanga. My mom/family would never even have a clue. This shit is private anyway. I don’t need my whole family knowing how I feel about everything.
xX Ame ~*~ Hana Xx
guest
Since my parents aren’t even on these social medias, I guess my sister will be able to “inherit” it.. she knows the password anyway lol. But my private Xanga blog is something that will forever remain hidden =/
guest
Nobody knows any of my passwords, so, err, nobody. I’d rather it just be left alone.
guest
An acquaintance of mine died this past summer and his Facebook is still active – no body has shut it down. I don’t understand why the mother in this story contacted Facebook to begin with, she should have just logged in. I didn’t know that Facebook was even in the habit of shutting down accounts of the deceased unless specifically requested to do so … That story really doesn’t make much sense to me.
It’s weird to look at the Facebook of somebody who’s died. No one knows my social media passwords though, so I feel like it would just stick around for a while like some kind of creepy electronic memorial.
guest
in the Oklahoma case mentioned above, how did fb know that the user died? cant the mother access it with the password?
guest
lol if i died –> my sis would have access to my account
I would make sure she update my status letting everyone know that I have passed away LOL
guest
just witnessed this a few weeks ago when a dear friend of mine passed. his girlfriend of three months helped herself to his facebook and changed his profile picture, updated things, posted on peoples’ comments form his account and sent out disrespectful messages from his account. eventually she gave the password to my friend’s sister, but someone complained to facebook and they memorialised his profile. he can no longer be tagged in photos and you have to type out his entire name to even get to his profile. nobody has access to it anymore and his sister is upset because she wants to access it. sucks. hopefully illinois is one of these states so my friend’s sister can regain access to his profile
guest
A friend of mine from high school killed himself and his mother last year. They both have facebook accounts that are still open and many of us visit them as a memorial to who they were and what happened. I personally don’t think that sites like facebook and xanga should delete someone’s account just because they die. I do think it should be up to the person if they want someone to be able to log in after their death. I have a list of all my passwords tucked away so that in case something happens to me, my family will be able to take care of important things (bank accounts, emails….). I want to be sure my daughter will have access to everything, including my journals, after I am gone so she might know all about me. Not just what she saw while I was alive.
guest
No one is going to have access to mine. End of story.
guest
A close friend of mine died almost a year ago, and his Facebook page, though not memorialized, has kind of become one. People still regularly post photos, videos, etc. for anyone else on his friends list. It’s kind of comforting, actually. His best friend’s been taking it really hard especially, so when he’s feeling really lonely or missing John a lot, he can comment on John’s profile and others will respond with kindness. It’s a nice outlet for emotion.
I believe he must’ve had his password stored on the computer, because sometimes his father will post something directly from John’s account. Like, updating everyone on the gorgeous new headstone that was recently installed, stuff like that.
I’ve asked my twin brother to be the one to clear out anything and everything I don’t want our family to find. I’d do the same for him. Yeah, it’s weird that we even talked about it once but it’s nice to know he’s got my back.
guest
I definitely think one should be able to easily ask for their digital assets to be given to someone in their will. But if there is no will, what should be the default law? You can say family, but that is vague and could seem several people. I’d assume it would be most wise to go in this order of who is given initial access: spouse -> parents -> eldest child -> closest kin/executor of estate. It should definitely not go to the government, though (isn’t that what happens when you don’t put stuff in your will and don’t have family?). That would be weird.
Anyway, who would I choose…probably my best friend. Because my parents don’t even know how to use facebook or any of my stuff, plus I don’t need them looking through all my stuff over the years after I have just died. I’d really just need her to say that I died, but if she felt the need to read my facebook messages, whatever, she knows everything. It would probably be fun for her, reading conversations I told her about.
guest
probably my boyfriend. i’d tell him to deactivate/shut down everything.
guest
No, not leaving my facebook or any social network for someone else to scramble through when I’m dead. Facebook, especially, consists of a bunch of meaningless wall-writings and drunk status updates. Why have my parents view all that after I’m gone? Facebook also shouldn’t be responsible for password handling as in the Oklahoma incident you mentioned.
guest
I think I would have to will different sites to different people…my family could have my facebook, but I don’t know how I’d feel about them having my xanga…