Lovelyish

No, I told mine up front that I’m paying him too much to play games and I expected him to shoot straight with me and I always do the same with him. Most people lie about their health and most can’t handle the truth from a doctor either. It’s a strange game we play in our medical system.

As House says, Everybody Lies.
But, then again, for an OBGYN who is getting near my lady parts, I want someone professional who will handle my exam as something serious, not accuse me of being a liar.
I did have one gyno who said that he should take out my IUD because I was “at the age to have children, and you don’t want to interfere with that”…. I promptly took myself out of his office.

Some people do lie but it can definitely be frustrating when you aren’t one of those people. My friend is totally honest. I am also honest about my number to my doctor, although I do feel like I’ll be judged.

I understand why doctors ask twice about sensitive information, but there is a difference between assuring the patient that you have their interests and safety in mind, and making it seem like the patient is too naive to know what to say.  My obgyn has always been professional fortunately, but my general practitioner, the first time I met her, told me that I should always be careful when having sex with my boyfriend (which is perfectly reasonable) because she’s been jaded before and you never know what you’re getting into with a lover (basically suggesting that my boyfriend could be cheating on me without me knowing it).  I’m sorry you were jaded, but I don’t need you making unnecessary and misguided interpretations of my relationship….

At the next few visits, she convinced me to get a vaccine that I told I her I didn’t want (I just wanted to shut her up after so much badgering) and then she told me that I gained 11 pounds, and even though I told her I took up running and was trying to lose the weight, she told me that I need to run at least an hour every day in order to make any difference in my health or weight (I wasn’t overweight, just heavier than I wanted to be at the time, but she made me feel like I was at risk for heart disease and simply made me feel like a fat cow who is basically hopeless at losing weight while still having a life).  I can’t wait to see her next time and show her that I lost the weight anyway.
I know they have our best interests in mind, but sometimes these concerns could be addressed with a little less condescension.  

Idea:

The doctor tells the patient some (fictitious) test he ran returned “unclear results” and he then refers the patient to a neurologist. He has the neurologist tell the patient they have a simple condition that causes the brain to produce too much of an obscure and non-existent hormone and has the neurologist prescribe the patient a placebo. The doctor has the patient return a week later and tells them he needs to perform the same (fictitious) test again and since the first medication is in their system, they will have to take a second pill (placebo) that will act as an inhibitor, cancelling out the effects of the first so he can get accurate results. After the patient takes it, the doctor leaves the room and comes back in a couple seconds later saying “OH SHIT! I just gave you the wrong medication and it will cause extreme overproduction of the non-existent hormone likely resulting in death if I don’t give you the exact dose of the actual inhibitor in time! QUICK! HOW MANY SEX PARTNERS HAVE YOU HAD?!?!”

Nobody gets hurt, problem solved.

@tsh44@xanga - Doctors don’t go to medical school for their patients to play games with them, but it still happens. What is more important to you, your money or your health/life? If seeing blood and nasty medical conditions is what it takes to save a life, so be it.

If playing games is what it takes to get to the truth so a doctor can save lives, so be it.

http://youtu.be/vvcxN-HuLL0

“This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race
This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race
This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race

I’m not a shoulder to cry on
But I digress

I’m a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate, oh so intricate
I’m a leading man and the lies I weave are oh so intricate, oh so intricate.”

When I was 17, I had gone to the doctors for a check up and my doctor consistently kept asking me how many partners I had. I kept saying I was a virgin (because i was!) and she kept insisting to tell the truth. I asked if she didn’t believe me because I have a tongue ring and she just shrugged her shoulders. She even sent my mom out of the room so I can “tell her the truth.” I was so irritated!!

@T3hZ10n@xanga - I have no idea what you’re talking about. My doc doesn’t play games with me. It isn’t a choice between my money and my health, there is no such choice.  I pay for what I need and he doesn’t sock me with anything I don’t. He explains the options gives his suggested route to take and lets me make up my mind which way to go. We talk about my health plan together like two adults and he lets me decide what to do with my money and my health. People need to stop treating doctors like they are some sort of demi-gods to be feared and awed and start treating them like practitioners to be consulted with. Lying to a doctor is ridiculously immature and ignorant.

@tsh44@xanga - ”I told mine up front that I’m paying him too much to play games”

To me, that is saying “I’m more concerned with wasting money than potentially receiving incorrect treatment and risking my health/life.”

I was talking about how telling a doctor to shoot straight with you is futile. Doctors take care of more than one patient, and some patients still play games even when they say they ‘I expect you to shoot straight with me and I always do the same with you.’.

I am saying that if you can expect the things you tell your doctor to remain unquestioned, it is totally fair for him to expect the things he asks to remain unquestioned by you as well. That is to say, even if it takes asking you more than once and to be totally honest, it isn’t “playing games” any more than it would be to judge a doctor for potentially judging you.

Doctor: “How many sexual partners have you had in the last 6 months?”
Patient: “Only one.”
Doctor: “Are you being honest?”
Patient: “OF COURSE I AM! Why would you doubt me?!”
Doctor: “Uhh, because I’m trying to decide if you’re a slut and whether I would hit that if I weren’t married…”
Doctor: “I AM A DOCTOR. People that lie say they’re not lying to me MORE OFTEN than they admit they are lying to me, therefore you can expect me to ask you MORE OFTEN when it is something that is lied about more frequently.”

Men may be irrational, but women are illogical.

@T3hZ10n@xanga - My doc doesn’t work that way. He asks I answer. I figure if he’s asking he has a good reason and apparently he knows I’m honest about my health. Probably because of our first conversation on the consult that left no room for him to wonder. I do sympathize with doctors dealing with people who lie but the question was, I think, if my doc treats me that way, and he doesn’t. I’ve run in to doctors who do question everything I tell them and I don’t hold it against them because I know people lie and if they don’t know me they can’t be sure. I just won’t choose them for my primary care doc if there’s no mutual trust involved I’m not paying a doctor to play games.

I went to the ER a couple years ago because I was having severe stomach cramps (like I was doubled over in pain severe) and my parents thought that I might have appendicitis. Well, I got there and it wasn’t my appendix. The doctor asked me if there was any way that I could be pregnant. I said, “No, I’m a virgin.” At that time my mom was in the room with me. So he asked my mom to leave so he could do some “tests”. As soon as she closed the door he said, “now that your mom is gone do you want to tell me the truth?” My reply was, “I did”. We left because there was nothing he could do for me. As we are out in the waiting room doing the final paperwork and stuff he comes out and asks me a 3rd time in front of all the other patients in the waiting room if I was absolutely sure that there was no way possible that I could be pregnant…..Talk about unprofessional. I realize that people don’t always tell the truth in a lot of these situations because they want to protect the people around them or protect themselves (Ironic because not telling your doctor the whole truth could actually be really bad for you), but don’t ask me in front of your other patients if I’m pregnant. Questions like that are meant for the examination room. And if you didn’t believe me just make me take a test. Then you can know for sure that you were WRONG!

OH! And I ended up just having really bad menstrual cramps and I’ve been getting cramps like that one month a year ever since then….lucky me…

@tsh44@xanga - That makes perfect sense. Very nicely said, I might add.

 I got the guardicill shot when i was 15-16 they asked like 3 times if i was sexually active, then asked if i wanted my mom to leave the room (to which i replied no), then made her leave anyway and asked again.  I laughed and simply said no really im a virgin and dont mess around.  They ask so much for that shot because its completely ineffective if you have already contracted HPV.  Other than that I have never had a dr question my answers.  I never went to an ob untill i was pregnant with my little girl last year.  My first partner and I always used protection and never had a slip up, my husband was a virgin, and i was healthy and had no issues with infections, or my cycle, ever.  We decided we wanted a baby, and made one, then I went in and had everything done.  They only thing they insisted i was tested for was HIV since it can affect the baby.  They test for std’s at the beginning and the end of pregnancy since there can be negative effects on the baby in different ways.  Both were optional I let them do the first since it was free for us, but the second i told them was really not needed since my husband and i are monogamous, however they could if they wanted to, they didnt.  I really dont mind when a dr is persistant on something like that if it helps another woman open up.  There is always a possitblitly of rape or things women dont want to believe or come to terms with, so better safe than sorry.  Some simple curable std’s left untreated can cause all sorts of problems.  Honesty is the best policy!

Oh, wow. I don’t think I’ve ever had that problem. Weird. 

One…I wish I could say that doctors have wonderful “bedside” manners, PARTICULARLY OB/Gyns. The reality is that very few do. Patients are not always forthcoming—also a reality.

But in the last few years, I have noticed that some meds have increasingly alarming warnings on them. I’ve seen a few that suggested you not take them  if you are planning to conceive a child in the future, male or female. That suggests to me that a good doctor has to have a care…a very serious one, before he gives any sort of medication.

Should they have handled their questions better?
Beyond a doubt.
But if I had someone’s life in my hands, I would worrying more about that.
I’m more concerned about what doctors don’t tell you. I had a doctor do a pelvic biopsy in his office—nothing to numb me. It was excruciating. The doctor and his assistant acted like I was being childish…but 20 minutes later, I was still pale, and shaking.  One nurse came in to check on me, and said “Oh Good…the color is coming backing into your lips.”.

Later, I asked him WHY he had done that in his office. His reply? “It’s a short procedure…insurance will not cover knocking you out.”. That bothered me a LOT more than questions about my sexual status.

My doctor hasn’t done that.

 I once had a doctor who rattled down the facts and listed “not pregant” as if it was perfectly clear. I wasn’t pregnant but if I had been that would have been quite stigmatizing as in “but you shouldn’t you are only 17!”.

The primary doctor I had in high school would constantly accuse me of lying about being a virgin and not drinking. I’d come in with a health problem, like a sinus infection, and all she’d want to do is talk about my “non-existent” sex life. Another doctor in that same hospital didn’t believe my mom when she called about the massive case of hives that I had all over my body. Even I came in and had to believe hospitalized she didn’t apologize.

Asking once, twice, a million times is whatever. I’d rather they be thorough than be eager to pump me with drugs or dismiss something & put my life in danger because I’m either too stubborn to admit something or because staff aren’t communicating like they should- whatever. They’re trying to avoid lawsuits, I’m trying to stay alive. But if my doctor straight out called me a liar I would have closed my legs & told them to get the fuck out of there asap before I claw their eyes out.

Stop being so touchy. They are simply doing there job by asking those questions, even more then once.

I lost my virginity really late (28), so I had to deal with that a lot. I had one doctor who just couldn’t believe I was still a virgin. You’d think that at that age, if I were going to lie, I’d say I had had sex so I wouldn’t feel like a loser. (And she asked more than twice. She just wouldn’t believe me.)
And there’s a difference between them “just doing their job” and being incredulous at your lifestyle choices.

I’ve had really good experiences with my doctor and gyno, but both insisted using a condom while on birth control because “boys lie.” I get that they’re coming from a good place, and am glad that I can just laugh it off. Because boys do lie but men don’t

I’ve always been 100% honest with my OB/GYN. Funny story with my family doctor, though. I got my birth control from him for about a year and a half before he said I needed to see a OB/GYN for my birth control, and when I got antibiotics from him he’d asked if I was sexually active, and I wasn’t, so said no. He still gave me the heads up that it might make my birth control ineffective, ya know, just in case I was lying. I saw him one time after I had lost my virginity for antibotics and lied because I already knew the info. So here are my general takeaways:

1) Try to see a general health doctor that you didn’t see as a child and who isn’t also your father’s doctor. 
2) Just be 100% honest with your gyno, what is going on with your lady parts is their specialty and you shouldn’t feel embarrassed or ashamed. Especially considering how “up in there” they get.
3) Patient shouldn’t feel insulted if a doctor questions your honesty, it is just professional skepticism. But there obviously is a line between doing your job and just being rude. If some of the accounts were true about doctors scoffing or rolling theirs eyes or blatantly calling the patient a liar (like the above pictured Dr.House), then that is crossing the line.

Sidenote, though. I do wonder what relevance the number has. I would think “have you had any new sexual partners since your last STD test/gyno visit?” and “are you in a monogamous relationship?” should cover it. 

Also, I still to this day am confused how my gyno knew I have had 3 sexual partners in my life since I don’t remember telling her, and last time I saw it was one. She just said “You’ve had 3 sexual partners, correct?” I think my gyno is a sexual psyhic. 

Honestly…I think if a woman is 18+ what she says to her OB/GYN should be taken by her doctor with a little more credence. That’s not to say 15-17 year olds are all liars about their sexual histories & whatnot..but it’s understandable that that age range may not always be forthcoming or truthful about their sexual past. Doctors are to a degree, trained to be somewhat skeptical of what you say – since some patients lie or are mistaken about things – for whatever reasons. 

HOWEVER – that does NOT give them the right to have snippy/rude/complete disregard to what you say attitudes. She/he should politely & respectfully question you if they feel there’s discrepancy issues. 
For example: I had the misfortune to have not one, but two lady doctors be completely rude to me about my sexual history. The first time I was nineteen & still a virgin. I went in for a physical & when asked about my past sexual conquests, I informed her there was none. This was met with a snort of disbelief & a roll of her eyes! I couldn’t believe how rude she was! She then went behind MY back & called my mother to ask HER if I was telling the truth about being a virgin! I was completely shocked. It wasn’t until later after an exam she half-heartedly apologized after realizing my hymen was, in fact still intact.  Needless to say, I NEVER went back to see her again! 
The second time it was a Nurse Practitioner & when I told her I was being sexually active at this point, she wanted me to have a very through gyno exam. When I expressed my discomfort with the spectrum..because I was unsure of how it would feel. [My last doctor hadn't used one on me for some reason] I was told rather coldly “That if I was having sex with people, this wouldn’t be any big deal.” When I told her that “Actually it is a big deal, when I am having sex..it’s with someone I love, feel comfy around & I am naturally wet & not being forced open by a mental object” she just glared at me. Instead of offering soothing words of advice or telling me it was okay, she basically implied that I was having multiple sex partners [I wasn't] & that due to that erroneous thought process that meant I should be a 100% fine with the exam. Again, needless to say I got out of there quick & got a much better doctor who understood my needs.

My doctor accuses me of taking birth control pills =.=

Is it really that hard that a teenager decides to be a celibate =/

@ashleya - Where did you go? My doctor was in Warsaw – Dr. Lyons, I think her name was. I HATED visiting her – she always made me feel like shit.

@chicbananas@xanga - I went in Dansville. Thankfully that doctor doesn’t work there anymore either. 

A while back I went to get x rays done of my wisdom teeth (because I was about to get them removed), and the lady that was about to take them asked me if there is any possibility that I may be pregnant, I replied with no, she turned around then turned towards me again and asked again I replied with no, I’m a virgin, I’m only 16. And she said “In today’s generation most 16 year olds have kids, are you sure you’re not pregnant?” I felt insulted but managed to get the x rays done and exit the room calmly. I have no clue why people find it hard to believe that I’m a virgin. I’m not your typical teenager; I’ve got too much going for me to fuck up my life by having a kid. Especially at 16, that’s just dumb.

I’m 25 and when I went to see this new gyno (I just moved) and he asked how many partners I’ve had. I said 0 (yes, I’m still a virgin); he proceeded to tell me a story about a girl who lied about being a virgin and refused certain tests and ended up discovering she had cervical cancer 6 months later. I said: “um. ok, but I am a virgin. I’ve never had a sexual partner; be it intercourse or oral” He laughed and said “ok, have it your way.” I went there to check my ovaries (I’ve had some pain in these areas for months) and he literally wanted to finger me even though I had made an appointment for a sonogram.

I was so pissed I told him that I wasn’t going to need to see him anymore and walked out of my visit. These are the kind of people that make girls hate saying that they are virgins.