We’ve never talked or anything. It was that one Wednesday when he came a bit late and ended up seating next to me. At first I didn’t notice him, but I glanced at his way quickly. I turned away quickly to look at the professor who started talking, but something hit me that made me glance at the guy next to me again. A double glance as I would like to call it.
Days passed after that and I’d see him all the time during that period we both have together.
We never got to sit beside each other again since it is a college class and there’s no permanent seating plan assigned. I noticed him more and more, but I thought what I’m having was just another silly little crush. So days went by again and every time he’d come to class, he’d always have my attention. Later that attention grew bigger. I started thinking of him more and more to the point where I feel like my conscious mind just revolves around this unknown guy I know nothing about other than his first name. I don’t know why I like him. I can’t explain it at all.
I’ve had crushes before but it wasn’t like this. This guy seems to be the only one who ever made me feel this way — made me feel so strongly about him. Because of him, I’ve started writing journal so I can write what I go through every time I see him or whenever I think of him. Something that pulls me in to him is the fact that he’s quiet like myself; whenever I see him, he keeps to himself like I do. He’s mysterious and he intrigues me so much.
There’s something special about him because he’s the only one who’s ever have this effect on me. I don’t believe in love in first sight at all. I believe that you can’t fall in love with a person you don’t know, and yet here I am in this situation who seems obsessed with this person. I’ve never been like this and I seriously hate feeling like this but I can’t help it at all. I’ve tried to get rid of whatever I’m feeling. I’ve tried forgetting about him, but whenever I see him its like all my will power goes away and he just keeps luring me into him. I feel like he has a magnet towards me. I hate this feeling; I don’t like it at all. For what I know he could be in a relationship or not.
Sometimes I wonder if he ever thinks of me too or if he ever notices me. I wonder what he thinks of me every time he sees me, every time our eyes lock.
Lovelyish asks: What advice would you give Obsessed?
The book Obsession: A History can be purchased on Amazon.com here.