Lovelyish

My wedding (when/if I get married someday lol) will be incredibly traditional and formal. That’s just who I am when it comes to big life events.

Why does the title mention 10 wedding rules while the actual post only has 8?

My wife and I didn’t have a traditional ceremony because neither of us are religious.  It was special to us and apparently not too bad since my catholic grandma didn’t have a heart attack.

Idc I want to look like a princess at my wedding. Not sure if I want a large crowd, though…I handle those REALLY well when I’m drunk, not so much sober.

@Cestovatelka@xanga - Oh please dont get me wrong, I LOVE formal weddings! I just hate when people are pressured into them from family. All that matters is what the couple wants to do, so if you wanna go traditional, I say rock it!

@xsimplepleasuresx@xanga - haha, that’s good! Yeah when religion is put into play, people will make a show at weddings. Sadly I’ve seen it. I’m bracing myself for jokes/insults from family when they find out I’m getting married on Halloween.

@LightBlue21@xanga - You’ll be a beautiful princess bride! I dont want a large wedding either. When my fiance started talking about marriage, the first thing he said was “I dont want to stand around shaking hands with people I have to wonder where in six hells I know them from”. LOL. A wedding shouldnt morph into a family reunion. The people who hold a special place in your heart should be there. I already know there will be “hurt feelings” in my family because I’m not inviting everyone. I use quote marks because I either dont get along with some people or I havent seen many of them in umpteenth years. But seriously why should I invite some 2nd cousins I havent seen since I was like 4 or 5 who’s names I dont know because they’re part of my dad’s family. That’s how weddings get expensive. We plan to have at most 70 people. I already have several plans in place to avoid crashers. XD

There’s nothing wrong with wanting a traditional wedding. That’s what I want. And there is also nothing wrong with wanting a nontraditional wedding, like what my sister wants.

To you, these are the rules that must be broken, but not for someone else. Why? Because NO ONE has the same style.
One rule I’m breaking is the must had alcohol rule (I don’t think it’s an actual rule, but there have been a lot of people who have told me that I have to serve alcohol at my wedding for the people who like to drink). Well, that’s not going to happen because I know plenty of people coming to my wedding who would over do it and get drunk. There are also some recovering alcoholics in my family too, and what kind of relative would I be if I invited them to something knowing there would be alcohol there?

My fiance and I are getting married on the 32rd of this month (!!!!!). My mother is all for the “traditional” stuff. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the phrase “you HAVE to do that for the wedding because that’s the ‘rule’!” -__- My mom has ALWAYS dreamt of making my wedding dress (she’s super in to sewing), I found one that was a 2 piece that I really liked. I tried convincing her to let me wear just the top and jeans. She said she wouldn’t make it if I did XD

There are some rules I’m breaking though

1. I’m wearing white stilletto boots that go up to my knee. I wanted boots, mom said I had to wear heals…I got boots with heals

2. My dog is the ring bearer. I even bought him a suit with a top hat.  I’m sure I’ll hear about it from my family, especially considering he’s a 80lb pit bull.

3. We aren’t having a flower girl. Mostly because there are literally no children in either of our families.

my husband and I just got married in november last year, and it definitely wasn’t traditional. I showed off my back which is covered in tattoos, and my arms. We did not get married in a church, and we didn’t do traditional music. We walked down aisle to red hot chili peppers hard to concentrate and it was more than perfect for us. About 3/4 of the way through the reception I put my hair up, and changed into uggs, sweats, and a tie dye baggy hoodie..wouldn’t have had it any other way

My boyfriend’s family is super Catholic and super traditional. His sister is getting married in August and they’re more than likely going to abide by all the “rules” minus the tattoo one since she doesn’t have any.

However, I have no problem showing off my ink and I would rather play music I like over traditional music when I eventually get married.

I showed my tattoo, AND wore cowboy boots! Man, you would not believe how many compliments I got on them. I should break them out and start wearing them. They are gorgeous handmade Lucchesi’s.

I think also, veils should be a broken tradition. Headbands, hair combs, so many cute alternatives.

I disagree on the pet thing. I don’t want to worry about an animal crapping everywhere.

I’m having a pretty non-traditional wedding. No veil, short dress that’s not white, not big, not inviting everyone I know.

I have nothing against people who like to go all crazy for their weddings, but it’s not for me. I’m still a few years away, but I want a traditional ceremony. Maybe I’ll make the reception a little funkier, but the actual ceremony I want to be traditional. Because honestly, I don’t care if others remember our wedding, or if it “sticks out”, my husband and I always will remember it. . 

If it were my wedding I’d enforce the “No Pets” rule too. It’s not so much about breaking rules as having your own preferences. I like formal wedding invitations and white dresses. It’s not that I’m following tradition because I think it’s taboo to deviate, I just happen to want those things.

I’ve seen many brides with non-white dresses and piercings and tattoos. I don’t think wedding rules stick to people as much anymore, at least not in first world societies.

If I ever get married, I am definitely not wearing a white dress. I don’t like what it used to stand for.

@Rebekka Holman@facebook - alot of eastern cultures wear red wedding dresses because it symbolizes goodluck. In fact some cultures wear white to funerals so to wear a wedding dress in white would be quite inappropriate! So rock that crimson dress

@xhalesx@revelife - I know not everyone has the same style, that’s why I wrote this. I love traditional weddings, I go to them all them all the time but I hate when girls are forced to have them. It’s happened to me already. I tell people I’m engaged & they go “oh you HAVE to do this!”, “Dont do that!”, “It’s always been done this way, you cant change it”. I didnt say you have to do what I said either, I gave suggestions as to what you can do if you dont like something you heard. Wedding in general are becoming more personal & open minded but not everyone knows that yet.

@davesprettylady@xanga - Congrats!!! Stiletto boots are awesome! <3

@voodoo_flower_child@xanga - You go girl! I’m not sure how my reception will be yet but I have time for that. I’m focusing on little things to get out the way first so I have time to decide on that. Like the sites, save the date cards & location. Once you have the date & the venue, things fall into place.

@Rebekka Holman@facebook - We’re gonna get tattoos also! He wants the important dates tattooed on his arm (as a joke he said it’s so he wont forget. lol). I dont know what I’m gonna do yet but It’ll probably be a quote of sometime with the wedding date & the date we started going out. And a red wedding dress sounds epic! I’d love to see a pic of it! <3

@ask_ashleyyy@xanga - Some people dont play traditional music at all but pop music is becoming huge (as seen in the JK wedding dance). Some people would just play classical or a string version of their favorite song.

@WaitingToShrug@xanga - They sound beautiful! Glad you had fun at your wedding!

@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - I want a fascinator or a little hat at my wedding. Veils to me make me think of when I had a wedding barbie & she had so much tulle on her head, she looked like a soft serve cone! LMAO!

@Katy326 - That’s a good way to think about it!

@aznbunny604@xanga - If people want a white wedding, I’m all for it if that’s what they want. I’ve heard so many wedding regret stories because people did things to make the family happy. I hate wedding hijackers, especially the ones who offer suggestions but no money. If you want a wedding a certain way, get (re)married & have it. Dont take over someone else’s, you know? You’re supposed to look back on your wedding day with love & pride, not regret because you wore a dress you hated/had a bitch in your wedding party/spent a fortune because you invited 37 people you dont know but your mom insisted on.

@EccentricSiren@xanga - I understand that too. I hate when people try to be cute & ask “So, can you wear WHITE?!”. That’s an ancient custom but really I wonder where it came from? Queen Victoria wore a white wedding dress because she wanted her wedding to be about her & Albert, not because she was a reigning monarch. They wanted her to wear her coronation robes & she was like “why? it’s my wedding, not a state affair”. Then brides after her copied.

@davesprettylady@xanga - 32nd? lol there is no such date but congrats!

@JRJust@xanga - lol 23. whoops XD

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - Yeah it really is amazing when during the wedding planning process people tell you what to do, what to wear, what to serve, who to invite without even considering the fact that maybe you want to plan your own wedding without their input. More power to the offbeat bride, that day should be as personal as possible not some carbon copy of a davids bridal commercial =)

@davesprettylady@xanga - haha that’s what i figured. just had to make sure

I’ll be wearing black on my wedding day I look awful in white. 

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - I didn’t realize that. Cool bit of history there. I guess I was always told that white was for virginity…and then wondered why the groom then wore black.

@Rebekka Holman@facebook - You sound awesome!

I prefer many formal aspects of weddings and I imagine should I ever get married my wedding will be traditional and elegant, because that is just who I am.

White wedding dresses haven’t always been around.

If I happen to like a white dress fine, if it’s not white, fine, but I imagine it will be white or off white or cream.

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - 

My SO and I couldn’t remember our anniversary so we made one up, he wanted Halloween I compromised on the 30th, but it’s worked out really well because it’s easier to get reservations at places because it’s by a large adult-party holiday!

He always talks about getting married on the 31st, I have no idea why, he is the most girly boy I’ve ever met, not into Halloween at all. I want it on the 30th so it’s only one date to remember lol.

Actually, weddings at 2 pm are supposed to be more formal that evening weddings. 

And you want to throw tradition out the window?  Go for it.  But don’t complain that people want traditions.  They are around for a reason.

I’m wearing white for purity.  I’ve waited this long, after all.

@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - I like black wedding dresses. I’m looking at Champagne & purple though. I might add a black sash though!

@NightCometh@xanga - Do *I* (as in myself) want to do without certain traditions? Yes. I didnt say people had to do what I said, I was just offering suggestions in a non-threatening way (like OMG you should see how people ambush some poor girls. I was like “yeah that wont be me”. lol).

As I stated in above comments several times I’m not against traditional weddings IF that’s what you want. If you dont want to, why should you have a wedding to please other people? It’s not their day, it belongs to bride & groom. I tell people if you want a wedding with this, that & the third, get (re)married & do it. Dont expect others to like what you want at your thing. I’ll be a virgin at my wedding but I refuse to wear white because the color doesnt look good on me. None of the white shades do. I think it’s sad a bride looks back on her wedding day with regrets because they did so much for other people that they didnt have their wedding. I mean reasonable accomodations like veggie meal options for vegetarians or a choice of 2 meats is one thing but to overhaul the menu because your future inlaws hate your taste? That’s a bit much. OR seeing a girl bullied into wearing a certain dress style for her mother & seeing her so unhappy in pictures.

As for other things, they will be traditional in a sense. I do want a church wedding (that’s the one thing I refused to go without) but we’ll have our own vows & I’m not forcing ugly dresses on my wedding party if I choose to have one. I’ll tell them to get whatever color I pick (I’m still choosing) in whatever dress style they want & I’ll buy the coordinating sash. I found a good one at David’s Bridal & they’re like $30 some each.

I think you should do whatever you want at your wedding when it affects only you. I say “when it affects only you” because I’ve known some people that are like “No! It’s my wedding. I don’t care if you need a wheelchair ramp. It won’t look good at my wedding.”

Also, I disagree with number 6. I think that people rely way too much on not talking to people except for through text message and email. Send a real invitation. If you are worried about cost, then either make the invitations yourself or invite less people. Honestly, I don’t check my email enough and my friends know that about me, so I would end up not going to a friend’s wedding if they sent me an email invitation because I wouldn’t get it. Unless you’re eloping or something, sending me an email or text to invite me to your wedding is kind of just cold. Somehow, when you know that someone just had to hit the “reply all” button, an invite doesn’t feel as special.

i wouldn’t mind a civil wedding. all you have to do is sign the papers and it’s done!

#9 your wedding dress should be extremely unique, expensive and of a certain material.

I do like sticking to some traditions…for example I would love a white dress. But I want something that looks light and happy…a simple white summer dess. Nothing that looks as if it was pressing my body in form or as if the evening was ruinied if it gets dirty.
I don’t want the guests to dress very formally either because I associate that with stiffness and not happiness, love and trust.

I only disagree with number 6.  You must definitely should send out official paper invitations.  They don’t have to be expensive or fancy or professional.  It is without a doubt tacky to do so even in this superamped computer age.  Sending out formal invitations doesn’t mean you can’t also set something up online.  But dang, the computer age is killing some common decency.  Show people that if they are important enough to show up to your wedding and give you a gift, they are important enough to be invited in a more formal, more personal fashion.

@TiredSoVeryTired@xanga - @Ms_Lola_Mae@xanga - I’m not against paper invites. I’m just a big supporter of the green movement (BEFORE it was popular! LOL) & saving money. Now you can do it yourself (I didt mention that) but even then you may end up spending alot of money. Also not everyone is computer savvy but you can find someone for that. For happy news, I dont think it’s bad sending it over the phone or computer but I do send cards, letters & stuff when I’m able). BAD NEWS should be given in person or at least by a phone call. Last summer I was going to break in the middle of school & my aunt sent me a text saying “good morning, letting you know your grandfather just passed away” & I got it 2 hours after it was sent!! I broke down in the cafeteria. I knew it was coming because he was end stage but that’s a horrible fucking way to tell somebody! The shitty excuse I got was they wanted to let everyone know at once. That’s what you have a phone chain for! It didnt help I couldnt leave school to go to the funeral & I didnt have the money to spare to begin with. My older sister went to represent us & I sent a letter to be read at the funeral. I mean I dont feel too terrible about it all because they all understood & told me I had to finish.

But anyway, if you feel better sending a paper invite then adding the link to the site, that’s great too. I’m having a small wedding (idealy 70 or below) so I was gonna make a cute save the date card to mail at the end of the summer & include the wedding site on there.

As for accomodating guest, yes REASONABLE requests are fine. I wouldnt worry so much about disabled guests because that’s a federal law that all places have to be accessable. If the person has never been there before, you may have to tell them where to go or find someone who can assist them throughout the day. Or as I said in another comment having a veggie meal for guests who dont eat meat isnt unreasonable. In fact many places offer that at no extra charge to people who request it.

@islandgypsygirl@xanga - Yeah & depending on where you live, it’s cheaper! In New York, the license is like $25 then if you get married in City Hall it’s like nothing. I know many people who dressed up for that, took pics around the city then had a nice dinner with a close group of friends.

Also, in Central Park you need a permit for a gathering of 25 people or more but if you have less than that you have have a wedding on the DL!

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - If you want to be green, tell people not to buy you a gift or not to wrap to it.  But out of respect for your guests, send them a real paper invite made out of recycled paper.  It’s the proper thing to do for such an occasion.  I have received invites to weddings online and I didn’t go to them, because if I’m not important enough for a real invite, I’m not important enough to show up with a gift.  Good luck!

or you can just elope and don’t worry about it at all

Can I add that we should break the rule of saving the top tier of your wedding cake for your 1 year anniversary? I’m sorry, but that’s just gross. 

@Winter__Raven@xanga - ew… I had never heard of that :s

I won’t wear a garter and I seriously do not want anyone to take a plus one (unless they’re already married or in a serious relationship). I want my friends (and family) to look at the photos of our wedding and be glad for the memories, instead of being angry at the man/woman standing next to them.
I am going to wear a white dress because I actually like it… but I will make sure that absolutely no one even thinks of wearing a white dress to our wedding. I will have her escorted out because I’m just mean and selfish when it comes to that haha
Last but not least, I don’t want flower girls… I don’t want ring bearers… I do not want one single kid at our wedding. If the kid were to start to cry all of a sudden for whatever reason, I would be super annoyed.

To each their own. Follow your bliss, lovelies.

The only thing I don’t want from a traditional wedding is for it to be in a church. Just no way.

I think traditional weddings are so beautiful! There are ways you can be creative and stay on a budget while still holding tradition. But hey, if that’s not your thing, then more power to you! I’m definitely going to be having a traditional Indian wedding, just to feel like a complete princess for a day

@Winter__Raven@xanga - Well yeah….That kinda is! Especially since people dont preserve them properly. My sister had so much leftover cake it was the top tier & a few others!! All in our freezer…

@not3000@xanga - I can understand all that but seriously the garter & bouquet thing is all in good fun now. People who act bitter & jealous are the last ones that need to be married. LOL. Besides, how many actual couples come out of those things? When my sister got married, the people who caught both were already in relationships & married their respective partners!

@spentandsickk@xanga - I LOVE Indians weddings!!! They’ve very colorful & festive. There was one featured in the latest issue of Brides magazine!! Dont they usually last more than one day though? heehee!

@Shinbi_Belldandy@xanga - I’m kind of hopeless haha
The reason I don’t want the garter, is because my dad’s family is very prudish, so I feel like some of them would have a heart attack if they knew that my boyfriend (well, then husband) was sticking his hand underneath my dress. They really go by the adage that says that ignorance is bliss.
As for the bouquet… ahh, I wouldn’t want to throw a bouquet that wasn’t the one I had while walking down the aisle, I just have never been a fan of throwing a second random one… but I, obviously, want to keep the first one as a keepsake. Oh well… we’ll see what happens when the time comes

Wow..to all you people so against this blog & her eight things..what is wrong with you?! This is HER PERSONAL view on certain wedding functions! Nowhere has she said anything even remotely like “This is how ALL weddings should be!” or “If you adhere to the formal weddings you suck!” Or even “Formal weddings are terrible!” In fact she’s said quite the opposite! That “there’s nothing wrong with formal or traditional weddings!” She seems like a completely open & honest girl in views of weddings! 

I agree with her entire outlook on these things! A wedding is YOUR day, well you & your soon-to-be-husbands but really it’s usually about the ladies ;] [Or if your gay/lesbian/bi & you're marrying the same sex] Point being! Some of the wedding ‘laws’ are a tad ridiculous. Does that mean they should all be nixed & denounced? NO. To each their own. A wedding is for however you wish to present it & I am quite frankly sad to see so many people comment & try to paint this blog as an “anti-formal/traditional wedding” one. It’s not. This is just her outlook & commentary on it. Brav-o to this wonderful post & bringing to light that you don’t have to follow all the wedding rules [if you don't want to] in order to have a fun, fancy, amazing wedding!

1.) I agree with you. I want a white dress personally but I don’t hold it against anyone for having a different color dress. It’s just a western thing too. My best friend’s boyfriend is Indian and she wants a traditional Indian wedding. I’m the type that wants to change in the middle of my reception into a cute dress. 

2.) I have short hair and I always will from this point on. I want my hair to be like Adele’s at the Grammys for my wedding. 
3.) I don’t agree with this one really. I think it’s because of my Catholic upbringing but churches and tattoos don’t mix. If you’re not getting married in a church, I guess it’s fine.
4.) Agreed. I’m wearing “fancy” flip flops no matter what time of day my wedding is or a pair of  white crocheted Toms (since my boyfriend/future husband’s name is Tom). Whatever I wear, they won’t be heels and they’ll be something I can dance the night away in. 
5.) I’d personally never do this (probably because my dog is crazy), but I’ve seen other people do it and it’s super cute. 
6.) I have a graphic design background, so I’ll probably channel my crafty side make my own invites (and some of my wedding decorations). I don’t like the online thing though; a lot of my family isn’t into the whole web thing. I just think it’s more proper to send paper invites out just in case some one doesn’t get the message.
7.) I want my baby cousins to be my flower girls (though they’ll be on the border age when I get married). I don’t think I’ll have a ring bearer though. A lot of my family didn’t have ring bearers. One of my favorite techniques is having the maid of honor have his ring and and the best man have her ring and hand it off to each other. 
When I’m leaving the wedding, I want my guests to throw glitter or release butterflies. 
8.) I love those down the aisle routines. As traditional as I am, I love the idea of this. I’ve always been a performer.