In college, I dated a man for an estimated two-and-a-half years. I say “estimated” because we broke up about five times during those years. Needless to say, things didn’t work out in the end. But I don’t have to feel too bad about trying and failing, since new evidence shows that we were scientifically doomed, anyways.
I have a general “no contact” policy after a big breakup, and will even block an ex on Facebook and Gchat for a bit, just to let the dust settle. But the aforementioned boyfriend and I lived in a small college town, had the same small group of friends and, uh, worked three different jobs together over the course of our relationship. Even after the numerous breakups. Hindsight is 20/20, but at the time it just seemed too difficult to let things end. But I suppose we should have, since a new study reports that:
Findings showed that couples in a cyclical relationship tended to be more impulsive about major relationship transitions — like moving in together, buying a pet together or having a child together — than those not in a cyclical relationship. As a result, the couples in cyclical relationships tended to be less satisfied with their partner; had worse communication; made more decisions that negatively affected the relationship; had lower self-esteem; and had a higher uncertainty about their future together. [via Gizmodo]
I’m going to file “getting a job (or three) together” under “impulsive major relationship transitions.” But with experience comes wisdom, and hopefully I have the knowledge to make more rational relationship decisions in the future.
What do you think of the study? Have you ever had an on-again, off-again relationship?