Lovelyish

Totally agree with you! I think its the media always hyping up there personal life to get people into there drama

If you think people should ‘get over it’ and that ‘it’s not a big deal’, then go ahead and tell that to the women who have died from domestic violence. No one should be praised after what he did. Rihanna shouldn’t be doing what she’s doing. She’s teaching girls that it’s okay to get back with someone who beats you. 

She can do whatever she wants, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.  Domestic, or any kind of abuse, is NEVER okay & I would never put up with it, nor do I think anyone else should.  But I guess it shows that celebs are human too (since many people seem to forget this) ’cause a lot of abuse victims go back to the abuser.  :/  

I think that one of the main things keeping people from forgiving him is that Chris Brown hasn’t shown any remorse for what he has done. He’s made light of the situation, and has acted as if he’s the one who has been victimized by the public. If he had a different attitude, and had shown that he’s made an effort to change, it would be fair to eventually forgive him, but he hasn’t.

@inthemillions@xanga - OMFG THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You hit the nail on the head with a gold hammer! This is my gripe with him & many others feel the same way. He thinks people pick on him. If anyone is keeping his past in the news, it’s him. Rihanna only spoke about it publically one with Diana Sawyer. Every time Chris throws a tantrum, it shows he hasnt changed a bit. He got off eat with his sentence because of who he was. He thinks his talent is enough to skate by on. The one public apology he gave was horribly staged.

@heythereJOANN@xanga - You said it right too. Even though by the time the incident happened, I wasnt a fan of his stuff anymore, he still shouldnt get any praise. Not only for what he did but his behavior afterwards. He should be banned from twitter since all he does is stick his foot in his mouth when he talks.

@heythereJOANN@xanga - Agreed!

Even though it is a bad example for younger girls that don’t understand, I think she’s being the bigger person by forgiving him (if she has/does). If she gives him a second chance and he changes, then good for them. But if he doesn’t… well Rihanna has already shown what that can do to his career and name. I think she taught him a lesson by exposing him when he did it to her the first time (if it was the first time) so maybe seeing himself like how the media has shown him will open his own eyes to what he did. People make mistakes. But unfortunately it was a terrible one that Chris made. I hope he has changed.

Huh totally didn’t know you could use comments people leave in a post like this without their consent, but I guess it’s your property if I’m commenting on your site. Weird. 

The fact of the matter is yes, they are real, fallible human beings with their own personal lives, and when it comes down to those personal lives, both of their actions are completely up to them. This is just the plain old truth.

However, both of these real, fallible human beings also happen to be social leaders, which is something that they knew would happen when entering the music business. Another fact of this whole matter is that despite whatever utopia some people live in where it’s only Rihanna and Chris’s private lives and no one else should be looking at them to lead by example, people still do. Looking up to celebrities and into their private lives will never change, and they need to accommodate for that.

We as a society can’t just sit silently watching while the lessons that these two celebrities are forcing into our youth’s minds. If we don’t speak up about it, it will be seen as okay and normal to beat a woman into unconsciousness.

On another note, shouldn’t Rihanna be the only individual with the right to forgive
him? We, as a society, weren’t beaten by Chris Brown, and therefore
cannot forgive him for that. 

I personally cannot forgive him for what he
DID do to society. That is: normalize violence towards women. No matter
how “remorseful” he appears to be, nothing but society’s attention to the matter will undo the damage that he has already done.

Also, who here has read the police report without shedding a single tear? I couldn’t do it. (The description of what happened starts about two thirds down the file.) http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/2009/images/03/05/brown.warrant.pdf

In the “real” world, people aren’t hired for jobs if their “personal lives” include domestic violence and beating people’s faces to the point where they’re unrecognisable. Why should Chris Brown be treated differently from anyone else? 

I speak as someone who escaped a violent relationship – I still haven’t forgiven the “man” who did it to me, even though I got out and haven’t spoken to him in three years. He never got charged or sent down, he got a “police caution”. Society needs to start taking domestic violence seriously – Chris Brown should still be in jail for what he did to Rihanna, not free to go to awards ceremonies and claim to be the victim. 

It is a big deal because domestic violence is never okay but it’s RiRi’s life and if she’s willing to forgive him then that’s her businessl. As long as Chris Brown doesn’t repeat the same offense again, I think the world should give him a second chance.

you could just see from the expression on her face in that picture that she really loved/love him

I wouldn’t say it’s not a big deal, but it’s her life. I was in an abusive relationship, and I still stayed with him for quite awhile after it started. I was brainwashed by him and his “love” for me. All he had to do was say sorry and I believed him. It’s not as black and white as it seems…it’s not just as easy as walking away. Rihanna is a smart girl, and she now knows the danger of being with him. If she chooses to take that gamble, and get that close to him again, then that’s her business. I don’t think it’s necessarily sending a message that it’s okay to get back with an abuser; I just think it’s showing her making what could be a poor decision. Who are we to tell her what to do? If she forgives him, and believes that it will never happen again, then that’s her life. None of us know either of them personally, so what do we know about their relationship? Can’t always go by what you hear in the media…

“What if you were told you wouldn’t get hired because of your personal life? Most job applications

do

 ask about criminal offenses and/or felonies and take that into consideration in the hiring process. 

Firstly we have to remember that the are two human beings. I do not in anyway promote, support, or condone domestic violence. I think that what he did to her was terrible.

I’d like to say that if I were in her position (or any victim’s of domestic violence position) that I would not have done the same thing, but I have never been in her position. So I can be furious and throw around “I would NEVER” statements, nor can I judge her for something I have not experienced.

These two individuals have are public figures. Everything they do is magnified at such a huge scale. Before you judge Rihanna, think about the decisions you have made. How would you appear to millions of people you have never met if every detail of your personal life was scrutinized. You’d probably be judged by your decisions as well.

At the end of they day they are still people, they are young, and ultimately it’s their decision. Just because they are celebrities does not mean that they have to live their lives being public figures for the rest of world.

Should you make good decisions when you have younger fans? Maybe.

Should you COMPLETELY sacrifice your personal life and your feelings just because you’re face. Who is to say?

Domestic violence victims returning to their abuser is a part of the domestic violence cycle. So no one can say they didn’t see this coming. For heavens sake they are people like you and me. Money, fame, power,  or whatever changes people. Definitely. But they are still people.

I am not saying that just because Rihanna has forgiven Chris that everyone else should, but at the end of the day they are going to do whatever they want to do.

I think all we can do is wish them the best and hope that it will never happen again. Which may seem unlikely to many.

Who are we to judge?

The thing that keeps bothering me is the fact that it doesn’t seem like anyone is trying to help Rihanna. Where are her friends? Her family? Her manager and those who work with her? They may not be able to force her to stop loving Chris, but she obviously needs psychological help. I’m not saying she is crazy, but it’s certainly not always easy to let go of someone you love that isn’t good for you. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like a punching bag, and she also doesn’t deserve criticism from the public or the media. I also think the media needs to make it more about Rihanna getting help rather than the immature shit Chris is doing. Naturally that doesn’t make good news stories, but still…

Have you seen Chris Brown really being remorseful about what he did to Rihanna? And as a matter of fact his attitude completely has been very arrogant, even breaking the window at GMA’s! Yes that does bother many people, that when these people are two leaders, who should be setting a better example out of life, instead is behaving badly. Rihanna should realize that she is setting a bad example. There are thousands of women who have been killed by going back to their abuser or living with one. 

It’s a big deal, yeah. Domestic violence is not okay. I would never forgive someone for doing something like that to me or someone I care about. 

It’s not a big deal. They are both adults who had a situation 3 freaking year ago that had nothing to do with any of us, and after that decent chunk of time, she forgave him for it. If they’ve worked some things out and repaired a broken relationship, who the hell are you all to think your two cents matters? Shoot, my two cents right here doesn’t even matter! Leave them alone and take all your “DV this, DV that” somewhere else. Are we really going to judge someone for the rest of their life for mistakes in the past?

@Rebekka Holman@facebook - I’ll start doing that when the women who cut the penises off of men stop being applauded and given book deals.

i think that it’s been 3 years; he’s had time to change. i’m not saying he has, but we don’t know him personally. we should trust that rihanna knows him well enough to know that he won’t do it again. if she got back with him after 2 months, it would be a different story entirely, but it’s been 3 years; he could be a much better person now.

My opinion?  They never truly broke up in the first place. Both of them were responsible for the incident, although I NEVER think there is a right situation to be violent towards a woman in any way.  (Save, of course, the extreme situation where she is about to end your life or something.)  She hit his head up against the glass while they were driving, kept locking the car, took the car keys from him, and basically wouldn’t let him leave.  If she would have just let him get the hell out of the car, she wouldn’t have gotten beaten up.  Period.  Obviously, she knew what buttons to push.  I’m not saying he was right at all, but she wasn’t exactly an angel in that car, either.

In any event, like I said, I don’t think they ever truly broke up in the first place.  Their PR people did what they had to do to clean up a mess.  I don’t think either of them really had a say in what happened after that incident, and them getting “back together” was inevitable.  Chris did what he had to do in terms of serving his probation and stuff like that.  (Props to him for his ability to man up and take responsibility.) They even got into new “relationships” in the mean time.  They avoided contact like the court order said, and when it was lifted, they went straight back to Tweeting and texting and calling each other.

I guarantee if they weren’t famous, people wouldn’t be talking about it like they are.  In reality, every day women go back to their “abusers,”, and most of their abusers don’t even get help or acknowledge their wrongdoing.  Chris and Rihanna are young, in love, and (as Wendy Williams likes to say) “Dumb 25.”  I think people need to just let it go.  Chris made a mistake, like any other human does, and Rihanna obviously forgave him, so the public should as well.  I hope they get it together, whether it be together or apart.  If he does it again, then she (or whoever he is with at the time) should deal accordingly. 

I really believe it is their business.  People think she’s sending a bad message, but it’s up to the parents to teach their children that this behaviour is not okay, and build up their self esteem so they don’t get into situations of domestic violence.  People are soo quick to put the blame on celebrities but they need to just worry about themselves and their own children.

@Rebekka Holman@facebook - I never said nor did I imply that you were either of those things. Those are your words. But you say “man who beat a woman” and “people who beat women” as if that’s somehow worse or something. At least that how I perceive it. You say that “obviously all abuse and violence are wrong” but your word choice does not show that.

It’s not. No one gives a shit.

@inthemillions@xanga –

I agree with your assertion. In one of my college classes we got to talking about the incident once, and I’ll never forget my professor saying, “When I read what happened and saw how brutally he had beaten her, I knew instantly that he had grown up in a home where a man abused his wife. The woman has become a personal affront to the man when he can do something so cruel and so callously. I know because I saw my father do it to my mother, and because of that, I will never have kids. I don’t want to risk becoming my father.” Chris Brown’s attitude about the whole thing only strengthens the argument. He doesn’t see it as a big deal. Violence needs to stop before it starts. If this stuff makes it into the news, it needs to be condemned publicly or the vicious cycle will only be repeated.

I’m on the fence. There’s valid points in each argument.

the title of this post should have been “everyone repeat the comments you made on the last chris brown post.”

“What if you were told you wouldn’t get hired because of your personal life?” The fact is, one’s personal life DOES affect one’s career. Let’s go with a notorious example: Bill Clinton. EXCELLENT presidential career, and he upheld many of his important campaign promises. How his presidency affected the economy and criminal justice system marks history…but you know what? He was impeached because he committed immoral acts. Cheating on one’s spouse? Beating one’s significant other? It’s DISGUSTING. Believe me, it’s OKAY to be great at what you do, but no matter what…no one’s going to “back off” on their judgement and belief. 

Oh and..Yes, I enjoy Chris Brown’s music and find him talented. I won’t go boycotting him. But I don’t like him for character after what he did. Rihanna is more than just a ‘person’, she’s a public figure that women of all ages look up to. I understand the concept of forgiveness and I also understand that one cannot help who they love. If they’re going to get back together, BOTH need to prove that they’re no longer toxic to one another, that they got some real help, and that their ‘love’ truly conquered all. It’s not okay to just arbitrarily get back together without setting things right for the people that look onto them. Ditto-ing @inthemillions@xanga

I’m with the latter

Of course this is a big deal. The people who claim that this is a personal matter that Chris Brown shouldn’t be judged for don’t seem to understand the weight of the situation. This isn’t an embarrassing birthmark or a weird fetish; this is a matter of life and death. So, fuck yes, I’m going to judge him.

Well I’ll never be able to look at him the same way but what Rihanna choses to do is her business.

@heythereJOANN@xanga - This. 

The way I see it, Chris Brown and Rihanna are in the media — therefore they are a possible role models for anyone really. Even we want to take the approach the that ‘It’s her life. Leave her the fuck alone.’ then what is that teaching everyone who looks up to Rihanna.That it’s okay to crawl back to her abuser?What’s it teaching people who look up to Chris Brown. It’s okay to beat up on women because they’ll crawl back to you? What people need to understand is that these two people are famous. It may not be our business how Rihanna and Chris Brown live their lives, but since they live it the media it inevitably becomes our business.

@skinny__latte@xanga - Children are impressionable and will listen to whoever they want. Many kids don’t care what their parents think and what they ‘teach’ goes in one ear and out another. They’re just being ‘my stupid parents’. In my experience–that’s not always the parents’ fault.

Oh it’s a HUGE deal. I can’t believe so many people are like “It’s their business, it was over three years ago he assaulted her, live & let live etc” Look, I am all for live & let live & yeah, I get it. Rihanna & Chris Brown have NO clue we, as general population are even alive. Which is why so many people are like “what do you care?” about it. 

I’ll tell you why I care.
Because he battered the crap out of Rihanna & both are PUBLIC figures. Which means, thousands if not millions of young, impressionable teens & kids are watching, reading & hearing about that. The fact Chris Brown did that to her in the first place..was disgusting & I don’t believe for a second he’s “changed” maybe gotten smarter about where to hit or how to abuse her..so that the public isn’t privy to it but he hasn’t changed. He’s a low life who thinks he can “own” women by physical force. 
As for Rihanna..I have lost a massive amount of respect for her in taking him back..because whether SHE likes it or not, or YOU like it or not, SHE is in the public eye! She has a duty [yes, a DUTY, it comes with being in the public eye, regardless of if she wants the duty or not] to when something like that happens to her & she has a chance to escape & does..that she stay her ground. She is a vibrant young beautiful & FAMOUS woman..she should be using her star power to say domestic abuse is NOT okay & the act of her going back to her abuser..is the saying the direct opposite…to millions of young girls & women. This isn’t some housewife who is for whatever reason making the choice to stay & it’s not affecting mass millions of people [unfortunately, if it did maybe she'd get more help] this is a woman in the public eye 24/7 & she should really be setting an example.Not only that, but it’s a slap in the fact to every woman & girl who is a survivor of domestic abuse & has done everything in their power to stay away from their abuser. It’s NOT easy..the hold & power so many abusers have over the victim is astronomical. Rihanna never should have gone back to Chris Brown. End of story. She is a public figure & has a duty to stand up to this type of shit, get it in the public more & say NO. This is NOT okay & I will NOT stand for it..& YOU if you are in a situation like I was in.. YOU don’t have to stand for it either. 

Celebrities aren’t only paid for their musical talent, they’re paid to be role models and in the spotlight. I’m not saying they don’t have the right to privacy, but if a public relationship goes wrong/right, they can’t just tell everybody that its their own business and they can do what they want. And if you disagree with that, there’s also the fact that

both

 of them spoke about their past relationship to the press, which means THEY chose to make their relationship public.

Role models aren’t supposed to be “forgiving,” towards those who hurt them; they’re supposed to be strong and independent and do the thing that they want the thousands of fans/followers to do. Think of the message it sends towards teen/preteen girls who will face an abusive relationship?And you can’t use the “he’s changed” excuse either, seeing as it doesn’t look that way after his whole Tweet after the Grammies. Just throwing that out there as well.

I used to work for a crisis hotline.
We used to get calls form battered women all the time.
The sad part is that they never understood that by being complicit in their abuse (by refusing to leave their abusers) they were in fact teaching their children that it was both ok, and normal.

She is a celebrity.
She will make a living offering herself as an example of a successful, talented woman.
Sorry…but I think that should include better choices.
Do we really want a woman as a hero who doesn’t understand that she influences so many?

That’s what the “big deal” is.

Not sincere.  People can move on from a celebrity being an abuser.  And people have. Many times.  But till this day, 3 years later, Chris Brown still acts like an asshole in the eyes of the media.  Not smart.  If you can’t truly be sincere, at least be smart about what you say so you don’t rile us up any further.

On the flip side, I’d never wish to end the career of a past abuser, unless they murder someone.  And I don’t really have an opinion on Rihanna getting back with Chris because I don’t know their whole story.

@GingerAvenger@xanga - I don’t think it’s ALWAYS the parents fault, however it’s not the media’s fault that children would rather follow it than their own parents.  Schools also teach children about domestic abuse.  The information for both sides is there.  The media says one thing and schools/parents say another.  Whoever that child ends up listening to is neither parties fault.  Parents can also make an effort to shelter young children so that when their presented with this kind of behaviour they can realize it’s wrong and not run out and get a boyfriend who abuses them.

@heythereJOANN@xanga - When she said get over it and it’s no big deal she was referring specifically to Chris Brown and Rihanna and their relationship. Not to victims of domestic violence.

Both of their music sucks and the people who love them are tasteless mother fuckers.

Whatever Rihanna does is her own business, however, she should remember that she’s in the public eye. When abused women see Rihanna going back to her abuser, what kind of example does that set for young women?

@heythereJOANN@xanga - Couldn’t have said better myself. 

i just believe it’s her own business. and i don’t listen to music because i like the person singing, i listen to the music for the music. when i hear a good song i don’t think “hmm, i wonder if he beats his girlfriend”. i’m sure there’s celebs out there who have done way worse and we don’t even know it. and like the writer of this article says, what if you weren’t hired because of your personal life? everyone has done wrong in their life and i’m sure they wouldn’t want to be judged forever over it. chris admitted fault, he did his community service, he went to counseling, and as far as we know in the past 3 years he has done pretty well with women. (except recently it seems his temper has come back.. but then again those are rumors and i’d be upset too if people who constantly stalking me). 

but i don’t know.. i’m 100% against domestic violence and i’m a strong believer that NO man deserves a second chance.. but that doesn’t mean they can’t make up and be friends, it’s healthy to work it out and move on.. it’d be worse for her to hold on to that horrible time in her life for so long, she’d never be able to trust anyone or live her life.

@skinny__latte@xanga - I would have to disagree and say that it is the partially media’s fault. The media can frame content to appear in any way. Parents can do the same. Public schools have to stay within certain boundaries by law. Who the child listens to is up to them, but when the child grows up and falls in love with an abuser that’s when it gets complicated. You can’t help who you love, and that is what is nobody’s fault. It’s up to a community to teach a child/person how to deal with the situation appropriately in case it does happen.

@Rebekka Holman@facebook - well if you include any other situation, you’re really not sticking to the topic…if you’re going to being in any generalizations, you should probably not sound like women are the only ones being abused.

sorry.  and way to poorly react to a reply, when did we go from being adults to children?@Kazydai@mancouch never said you were “fucking stupid.”  way to take someone’s words and twist them to make them sound horrible.
i wouldn’t have even commented supporting them unless you came at their throat with all this 15 year old bullshit.

@GingerAvenger@xanga - Oh definitely.  I’ve seen what happens when someone falls in love with an abuser and no matter what you say to them, they just don’t get it.  You can’t help who you fall in love with but if they’ve been taught that this isn’t acceptable and have a strong enough support system sometimes they can get away.  I think you misunderstood what I said.  The media is definitely partially at fault.  I don’t think one party is fully to blame, rather a variety of factors.  The argument against Chris Brown and Rihanna seemed to me like “omg a couple in the media is doing it, now a bunch of girls are going to get abused” rather than acknowledging it has influence, but so do a lot of other factors.

Wow, so you think domestic violence isn’t a “big deal”? You people make me vomit. Humanity is hopeless.