“This traffic is soooo bad. FML.” “THIS would only happen to me.” “Really, rain? Can’t I catch a break!!!!! FML.” We all have Facebook friends that use the site as a platform to air every single grievance that they experience in a single day— I really mean, every-single-grievance. From the alarm not going off (aren’t you just delaying your morning further by stopping to tell Facebook?) to the clouds naturally expelling raindrops, my news feed is constantly filled with the mundane complaints of my friends. I am stunned to read such trivial complaints from my educated, privileged Facebook friends. According to a new study, complaining on Facebook will actually make your friends like you less.
A new study from Canada’s University of Waterloo explored the role of Facebook in the lives of people with low self-esteem. When asked, people with low self-esteem were more likely to believe that Facebook provided a platform to connect with other people, viewing it as a safe place that reduces the risk of awkward social situations. People with low self-esteem were found more likely to post negative, complaining status updates, which were not received well by viewers.
Researchers asked a group of students for their last 10 status updates, sentences like, “[Name] is lucky to have such terrific friends and is looking forward to a great day tomorrow!” and “[Name] is upset b/c her phone got stolen :@.” Each set of status updates was rated for how positive or negative it was by an undergraduate Facebook user who did not know who wrote the status. Research found that the more negative someone appeared to be on Facebook, the less like-able they were.
People with low self-esteem who produce negative status updates may feel safe revealing their personal grievances on Facebook, but they may be harming themselves at the same time. Amanda Forest, a graduate student at the University of Waterloo who co wrote the new study with her advisor concludes:”If you’re talking to somebody in person and you say something, you might get some indication that they don’t like it, that they’re sick of hearing your negativity…On Facebook, you don’t see most of the reactions.”
So think twice next time you want to complain about the traffic, the weather, or people in general. Your friends may not take your complaining as a relateable topic, but rather an annoyance.
Are you annoyed by complaining status updates? Do you complain on Facebook?
guest
The only reason I get on the internet is to complain.
sunflower / 321 posts
I delete people who complain about crap too much on the Internet. If I could delete them from my real life I would, too.
guest
I’ve tried to tone down the amount of bitching I do online and in real life. Sometimes it’s difficult when someone or something really fucking annoys you and you just have to say it but I go write it out in a journal or vent to anyone willing to hear instead of constantly sounding like a whiny 13 yr old girl to my friends and family. Eventually you realize that most things aren’t even worth venting and are a lot less significant then you thought previously.
rose / 937 posts
A few things to consider about this study:
1) “Group of students,” this has two issues: a. it was likely a small group, meaning that there is far more room for error. b. these are students. Students are not always the best group to do a study on when you want to generalize your findings because it’s a very specific type of group, and specific age range. It would have been better had the subjects been randomly selected to be representative of the entire Canadian population, meaning x number would have to be x ethnicity or x sex, etc.
2) Correlation doesn’t equal causation. What exactly are the “not likeable” measures here? Does the number of “likes” equate to a higher level of approval for an individual? If a negative status gets fewer thumbs up than something positive, that doesn’t mean that that negative status update caused people to dislike you.
3) Were the students aware of what these people were studying? If so, they could have been trying to “please” the experimenters by providing them with data that they were wanting, even if they weren’t completely aware of it.
I dunno, not sure how much I’m loving how much the study is wanting to emphasize causation here. Seems far more correlational than anything, and so I’m not sure how comfortable I feel with the results. I’d prefer to see some more studies. I’ve had plenty of people like my negative statuses as much as my positive ones. I’ve had times where no one liked any of my positive statuses. I often see more people getting more likes for negative statuses actually than I do for the average positive ones, unless it’s like “omg big life-changing news.”
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@kackie - Are you complaining about complainers?
sunflower / 321 posts
@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - um, nope. just my two cents.
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@kackie -
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Lol bitching about life is for Twitter….I try to keep everything I post on facebook positive.
guest
My favorite is when people complain about Facebook itself. I’m terribly sorry you believe whoever created the idea of timeline should be shot and thrown in the ocean, but shut up or go to twitter.
guest
I hope I am not complaining too much, because it really annoys me when I see people complaining all the time. I try to keep most of updates positive, or at least entertaining (like when I observe something funny) and never anything that is too personal. Save your personal musings and complaints for your real friends (in person or on the phone), or rant about it your blog. I see Facebook as a forum to keep in touch with people in a friendly environment. As a general notion, I find it more productive to find solutions rather than just complaining all day (and not just on Facebook, in real life, too). Of course, that’s not to say I never complain, because I do. However, I do try to keep it to a minimal.
@kackie - I like to hide the posts from people who complain too much, or people who general post unsavory things.
sunflower / 321 posts
@babybug329@xanga - oh, true. people who post nothing but radical political stuff get hidden. hahaha
guest
I complain about as much as I please on my Facebook. I don’t really have friends to vent to, and I’m not close at all with my family so I need to vent somewhere before I have a mental breakdown.
I delete people who annoy me on a daily basis. For example, I delete most of those on my friends list who post too many pictures of their kids or pregnant stomach. Or girls who talk post about their boyfriends too much. People are welcome to do the same to me.
guest
It seems like the point of Facebook is to add people you hate and then make fun of them. Facebook is a “place for frenemies.”
Honestly, the survey seems very incomplete. By “not likeable,” did the students think it meant “I wouldn’t LIKE this to happen to me// that sucks.”
Honestly, I love to brag about myself on my Facebook, because I got a reputation to live up to.
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - I SAID MAKE ME A SAMMICH BITCH
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Not as mad about it as you seem to be. It’s the fucking internet. If you don’t like what people post on facebook, LEAVE FACEBOOK. Or get rid of your so-called ‘friends’ since all they do is make you mad.
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I try not to complain a lot on Facebook, but if something is pissing me of and I need to vent I should be able to do so on Facebook. I’m not friends with people on Facebook who I don’t genuinely like. Therefore, I feel comfortable saying whatever the hell I want. If people think I complain too much, they can delete me.
One thing that pisses me off is people who complain about Facebook every time it’s mentioned. If you don’t like it, don’t use it. Some of us like seeing whats going on in the lives of people we can’t see in person.
daisy / 505 posts
I think I complain an average amount on Facebook, but I don’t want to bother people. If something is really significant, or kind of funny-bad, I might post it. If I want to complain, I come here. That is what this website is built for and has been built for since 2005 for me.
guest
Unless that person is a constant whiner in person and on FB or they go on and on about something trivial, I don’t care. Annoying things happen, and letting it out is better than keeping it in. I would also hope my true friends base their opinion of me on more than just what I post on FB.
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@ShimmerBodyCream@xanga - Darn. I thought your reason for interneting was to brighten everyone’s day!
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Yup, ditch ‘em.
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i just HIDE the complainers & get on with my life.
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I complain sometimes, but try to keep it to myself because who really gives a shit if I’m having a bad day or why? I think it’s funny sometimes, reading things that people complain about on fb.
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the negative statuses I write are the only ones that get attention. I guess I’m funnier when my life sucks.
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There’s this one friend of mine, who ALL it is is her complaining about one thing or another. She does it in person too…a lot. I mean, she’s nice and all, and I DO understand she’s had a rough life, gone through lots of trauma and all that, etc etc….but really? Can’t you think of ONE good thing instead of complaining all the time?
Granted, I’ll complain sometimes too, but I try to keep it to a minimum. Cause honestly, if I need to complain or vent, I know which of my friends will make me laugh. SO I just text those few friends, they make me laugh, and we’re back on happy times
guest
This post makes me want to complain about posts that are complaining about people complaining on the interwebernet, but I can’t because my wife just left me, my dog died, I lost my keys last night and I just stubbed my toe so I have to go update facebook.
guest
*shrugs* I don’t really care.
But I would advice anyone to never complain EVER because there are always some retarded fucks who complain about complainers because they are so much better. Wait wasn’t that called playing the victim?…blah fuck people.
you see I have a very positive nature.
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I stopped using and posting on Facebook months ago, also Twitter.
I keep on Xanga and subsites only now (might blog on Blogger later)
peony / 1 posts
Complaining has it’s benefits as does sending messages to lovers and friends. You have to stop yourself ask ask the question as to too much when you consider your day to day. If you are more likely to say negative things or complain each day then you must consider the ppl you call you friends and what they are willing to accept from you each day….