Lovelyish

lol but didnt they get back together. call me crazy, but if you get back with someone who beats you YOU have problems

I think they started talking again. If she can find it in her to forgive him, that’s cool. But I feel like they only started following each other on Twitter again because it looked bad on him if he wasn’t trying to make an effort. But, it’s hard for me to forgive a public figure who has done something like that and displayed absolutely no remorse.

@haleymroach@xanga - What exactly is your point?

Amen. He is a woman-beater. I don’t care that she supposedly “forgave him” – that doesn’t make what he did cool or acceptable all of a sudden. He should still be in jail for what he did to her.

Agreed. And you better believe that if he hadn’t been a celebrity, his ass would be rotting in jail right now – at least if he was from where I’m from. 

I can’t believe no one commented on the tweet that is shown above. That is ridiculous that people even say things like that. One of my followers on twitter was asking when people are going to “get over” what Chris Brown did. That isn’t something you just get over. Abuse to your significant other is not okay, especially if it’s a man beating on a woman. He will forever be thought of as a woman beater by a lot of people. 

Oh, there were more. “I’d let Chris Brown beat me up,” “Chris Brown..please beat me:),” “Chris Brown could beat me up all he wants,” “I’d let Chris Brown punch me in the face,” “Everyone shut up about Chris Brown being a woman beater..Shiiitt he can beat me up all night if he wants.” etc. 

Here’s a link of them: 
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/horrible-reactions-to-chris-brown-at-the-grammys

@haleymroach@xanga - then you clearly don’t understand the dynamics of domestic abuse at all.

@haleymroach@xanga - One of the most common strategies abusers employ is to make the victim feel as if they are unable to live, especially long term, without the abuser. 

@haleymroach@xanga - my thoughts exactly.

I agree with you 100% on this post. I understand that entertaining is his job, it’s literally his profession and that’s how it is, but I HATE that he can still be treated like a good guy when he really is just another thug.

@voicimessecrets@xanga - Okay, yes, you have a point. it’s not EASY for a woman to leave an abusive man, but it’s not impossible. And with Rihanna’s means, she can find the help to stay away from him. She’s in the public eye. She’s a role model. She can overcome him and his mindwashing. You may disagree but it’s a lot easier for her to do it than a housewife.

“Being one of those women, I don’t believe that any woman deserves to have hands laid on her by a man.”

then men don’t deserve to be hit by women.
see, this is one of the problems some women have with true gender equality:  they still want to inequality when it benefits them.  but i have news for you:  if you’re equal to a man, you’re equal in every sense.  which means, if you throw a punch, he has every right to hit back.  

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - And, you have to think about his history. He’s clearly extremely volatile and short-tempered..so for all we know, she could have mouthed off and that’s how he reacted. 

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Yes, but no one knows if she threw the first punch or if she fought back at all. That was all speculation. The only proven facts were that she was beaten. I’m all about gender equality. The only reason I didn’t take the “gender equality” approach to this was because there was nothing showing that she did anything. If she punched him first, I totally agree that he had the right to defend himself..but, if she had thrown a punch, I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that he didn’t feel so threatened that he had to beat her to that extent. 

I am not advocating him to be a role model whatsoever, but let’s also keep in mind that we all make mistakes and people can change.  I’m not saying he has; it’s pretty obvious that he still has some anger issues that he needs  to work on.

I heard this sweet song one time where the refrain was “Chris Brown should get his ass kicked”

@jesshinson - true.  it just annoys me when we go off on guys like Chris Brown for doing what may women would love to do to any man who has ever hurt us.  i don’t think violence is justified in any instance.  but, that being said, i think that if you choose to be violent, you should go all the way with it.  

This is just terrible! I can not believe that any woman would ever say “I would let so-and-so beat me any day!” No one, especially women, should be condoning this behavior in any way. Ugh, just makes me sick to even think about.

@jesshinson - So ill tempered people have an excuse to hit others? Thank god my normally pissed off nature is good for somethin’.

Sorry…but men who are violent don’t change…not easily.
He is in a position where he is emulated by his male fans, and as if there wasn’t enough “on your knees biotch” messages in music, his behavior is unacceptable.

Honestly, I was more appalled by the amount of rage that was aimed at HER, after the incident.

“Well we don’t know why he did it.”
STUPID.
We do know she spent three DAYS in the hospital afterward…and he did not.
Unless she stabbed him, what he did was out of control BULLSHIT.

So…if it costs him in the long run, I’m ok with it. Then the message becomes “Beat the crap out of your girlfriend and LOSE big.”

Just my two cents….

@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - I didn’t say it was an excuse. This post is all about the fact that he SHOULDN’T be excused for his behavior. All I said was that with his short fuse and seeing how he acts, she could have said one tiny thing and set him off..He threw a chair through a window because someone asked him about the situation, for God’s sake. That should show you right there that he gets violent over small things. 

@galadrial@xanga - YES! And the message that he and his PR are relaying is, “You can beat up your girlfriend and go on to be a global superstar and make millions!” But that won’t happen. There are too many little girls who would “let him beat them anytime”. 

“i would let him beat me up any day” ….

clearly, this person has NEVER actually been in that kind of situation. and i hope his/her life stays on that path….but i also hope s/he learns some compassion.

and common sense.

@crazypassions@xanga - Besides the fact that she loved him and probably believed him when he said he changed. It’s easy to make decisions objectively as an outsider who isn’t subject to the manipulation and emotional abuse. She shouldn’t need to prove herself as a role model by leaving; he should have to prove himself by not hitting her. 

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I don’t think anyone should hit anyone, but when it comes to domestic abuse, it doesn’t do the subject justice to talk about it as if it is interspersed over both genders equally.

An abusive significant other is an abusive significant other.  Where there happens to be proof of him beating the SHIT out of her, there isn’t proof of her beating him or abusing him at all.  I think having both of them on stages is a disgusting, disrespectful thing to do.  How do you keep someone dangerous from abusing you again?  She was probably on eggshells, placating to him.  She is already in a submissive role to him based on the media’s portrayal and acceptance of his actions. 

I don’t accept it, and I think he should be brought to justice.

This may be old, but for those who haven’t seen it, this says all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOjUKwoHUyw

I can’t help but wonder how everyone would have reacted if he had beaten a dog instead. PETA definitely would’ve been at the grammy’s this year, ready with red paint and protester’s. Sad world we live in.

@Peppermint__Kisses@xanga - Just look at Michael Vick.

@SasGal@xanga - ugh. People are shit.

I honestly can’t name one Chris Brown song. To me, he’s just ‘that guy who beat up his girlfriend.’ That’s about all I need to know to know I don’t like him. 

@Shytooth@xanga - I saw that. “A felony.” Possibly my favourite Fox News moment ever.

Abusing women is never okay. Chris Brown might be alright now, but karma will pull him down quickly.

And as to those who have issues with his victim…you know…the woman he beat the crap out of?

She not only had to endure the physical pain, and the emotional trauma…but several companies canceled her contracts with them. No one wants a battered woman for their spokesperson…so he actually cost her a fortune on top of it.  Maybe you can all “forgive and forget”, but I think he got off with a wrist slap.

Whether she forgive him or not or if she dealt the first punch you don’t make it fucking worse by hitting her back. I don’t think the man needs to be hanged but he should be getting help for the obvious anger issues he has. A sad person like this should never be glorified. 

@MoonFaeEyryan@xanga - thank you.  my thoughts exactly.

plus, @haleymroach@xanga - this whole blaming the victim thing…not really working for me.  it’s just like saying “she was asking for it” about rape victims.  sure, there are behaviors girls engage in (i.e., getting drunk) that can make them more susceptible to rape, but the person truly at fault for a rape is ALWAYS the rapist.  and the person truly at fault for abuse is ALWAYS the abuser.

@galadrial@xanga - YES.

I hate the jerkoff.  He should have done jail time and I hope his reputation is forever tarnished by what he did.  I don’t care even if she did throw the first punch.  He shouldn’t have hit her back.  Instead, her face looked like it was hit by a car. 

I hate that he just goes on like nothing is wrong, and how at least a year ago, he was whining about how people wouldn’t let his image go back to normal.  Are you KIDDING me?  How dare he ever dream the thought of it being normal.  What he did was HORRIBLE and he is a HORRIBLE person.  I would never want to date a guy who did that to someone else, someone he claimed to love.  Forget that.  I hope his life continues to be difficult.  I will not support him.  I will shit on his name, forever.  I don’t care.

@voicimessecrets@xanga - i don’t that has any relevance.  whether or not something is wrong has nothing to do with how often it happens.  if you think it’s more acceptable for women to hit men because it doesn’t happen as often, that’s your prerogative. 

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - No offense, but he doesn’t.  Even if someone throws a punch at you, are you any better by punching them  back?  By behaving the way they are?  Self defense is one thing, but beating the shit out of someone else is another.  If SHE threw the first punch, SHE is in the wrong, but if HE was a good guy, he would have walked it off and done nothing back to her.  He didn’t.  He beat the shit out of her face. 

Equal or not, you shouldn’t answer violence with violence.

@corporatecrow@xanga - 

“this whole blaming the victim thing…not really working for me.”
at some point, you stop being a victim if you aren’t willing to take the necessary steps to protect yourself.  being a victim means that things are happening to you against your will.  
  and being a victim doesn’t absolve you of your own irresponsibility.  

@asrial86@xanga - 

“ Even if someone throws a punch at you, are you any better by punching them  back?  By behaving the way they are?”
i’m not really sure what you’re getting at.  i’m a moral relativist.  i was simply stating that, if you’re going to condone violence in any form to/from any gender, the only logical move is to take it to the extreme.  i think that once the line is crossed, there aren’t degrees of severity.  either you’re a violent person, or you aren’t.  

Bitch should have listened the first time!

Someone I got into a debate with brought up the fact that the public is starting to embrace Michael Vick despite what he’s done. It’s true, what Michael Vick did was wrong, but he has repented, spent time in jail, and many people still hate him and associate him with his crime. Chris Brown has not repented. Chris Brown avoided jail time. In my opinion, Chris Brown does not fully realize that what he did was wrong.

Women saying that they’d let Chris Brown beat them is sickening. Absolutely sickening. I’ve never been involved in an abusive relationship, but I lost a very good friend of mine after her abusive partner knocked her up and forced her to move away from her family and friends so they could raise the baby “happily and alone.”
*lost a friend in that I don’t know what happened to her after she moved away. Her phone was cut off shortly after she moved and she’s made no attempt to contact me or anyone else in our circle of friends.

With all this coverage on him, I’m starting to feel nosy just wondering what it was they were fighting about. I know Chris Brown has kind of a temper going on (my understanding is that he went through some anger management), but how long are they just going to peg a guy a “woman beater”? The guy knows he was in the wrong and he paid his debt for it. I’d probably wind up smashing some studio glass, too, if all you ever had to talk about was that incident. If Rhianna herself can try and move on from all this, why can’t we? 

And he was never seen as a role model. Not everyone who is in the public eye does it to be anyone’s role model. The sooner we embrace this very fact, the sooner we can start understanding the reality of celebrity life.

beating someone up (unless in self defense) is always wrong, no matter the gender of the people involved.

Holy bajezus, the man wins best R&B album and suddenly everyone thinks that the people running the Grammys are supporting the abuse of women.  Is the man not entitled to make a comeback?!  For crying out loud, ENOUGH of this!  No one is “worshiping” him and praising the abuse of women!  SO many artists have done fucked up things to themselves and others, yet all I seem to hear is how everyone wants to see Chris Brown get his head chopped off.  MOVE ON. 

BTW- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vepQV0b6I2Y

Rihanna has clearly done well since what happened and is a strong
woman.  She’s still coming out with great music and is as gorgeous as
ever.  So don’t worry about her, worry about your own selves.

He made a mistake. Get the hell over it. He’s moved on with his life and is moving forward with his career. I still like him.

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - While I generally agree that women shouldn’t hit men and there have been some instances where I’ve witnessed a woman hitting a man to the degree that no one would have faulted him for hitting her back…there is no excuse for what Chris Brown did to Rihanna.  That wasn’t self-defense or even tick-for-tack, that was rage.

@merquryd@xanga - i’m not interested in making excuses.  i’m just pointing out what i see as a double standard in society.  if a woman kicks a man in the crotch, it’s funny and usually deserved.  if a man slaps a woman, it’s abuse.  

personally, i think a woman can take a hit as well as any man.  

@Paul_Partisan@xanga - oddly enough, all of my favorite jokes are sexist.  i guess that makes me a horrible woman

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - what is a victim’s “irresponsibility?” The thought boils down to whether you believe freedom from violence is a right or a privilege. Everyone has personal responsibilities to protect themselves, but failure to adhere to those responsibilities does not deny a human’s right to be free from abuse. If you’re blaming the victim for not protecting themselves, you’re asserting that they’ve lost the privilege to not be beat. Being a victim does not mean “things happening against your will,” that’s a pretty offensively incomplete definition.

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - It has everything to do with it. You have to examine all of the contributing factors and dynamics that go into it to figure out how to raise awareness and stop it.

I have absolutely no idea how any of the Chris Brown/Rihanna shit went down, as I avoid celebrity gossip like the plague. But if she was the one who dealt the first punch, then he was the victim. Victims don’t belong in prison. He may have been excessive in his defending of himself, but then again, so was the situation I read of recently of these two kids who were shot and killed for trying to break into someones house to rob it. They were unarmed. It may have been excessive to shoot and kill them, but the kids have to know that something like that is possible if they dare to rob someones house. The man who shot the criminals doesn’t belong in jail, and he isn’t in jail.

Rihanna and other women ought to know that their actions have consequences. These consequences don’t just hold for women, they also hold for short and scrawny men who dare to pick a fight with men much bigger and stronger than themselves. We shouldn’t have a double standard for women in these situations. If you ain’t stronger than the person, then don’t throw a fucking punch at them.

I won’t lie, my father used to beat my mother. I remember the arguments, the fighting, the violence and yet not even once was he really punished. My mother suffered with the consequences and the fear even to this day. She’s forgiven my father because if she didn’t how could she live and move on with her life? Chris Brown got more sentence time than my molester and even my father did, and that is saying something very big.

Hell, my mother even went to jail because the cop wouldn’t let it go and she had a hard time paying it off that bond. It’s ridiculous.

My father like Chris Brown showed no remorse or anything. It’s really sad either way ;( Just thinking about it makes me feel sad and makes me remember how scared I was when they would start. 

@voicimessecrets@xanga - It actually is a 50/50 thing between the genders. So yes, it does do it justice. In fact, it’s been an incredible injustice that society hasn’t recognized men as victims.

@voicimessecrets@xanga - 

“what is a victim’s “irresponsibility?”"
when he or she continuously puts himself/herself in dangerous situations, despite knowing the consequences.
“If you’re blaming the victim for not protecting themselves, you’re asserting that they’ve lost the privilege to not be beat. ”
actually, i’m asserting that one of three things is true:
1. the victim is a moron, and natural selection should take its course2. the victim does, in fact, enjoy being victimized.  in which case, why are we getting upset when they’re getting what they want?3. the victim does not value his or her own life enough to protect himself/herself.  
since when is expecting someone to behave intelligently blaming the victim?  if you go back to an abuser time and time again, you’re no longer a victim.  

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - wow. I don’t even know how to respond other than please don’t share your opinions with any survivors or current victims struggling to get help. 

Maybe that tweeter is a victim herself?

@AmorVomnia7@xanga - Can you find a source to back that up? 85% of victims of domestic violence are women. Most male victims are abused by men. It’s an incredible injustice that society refuses to recognize most victims, male or female, as illustrated by this article. I agree, gender roles prohibit male victims from receiving just support in recovery. At the same time, female victims are equally slighted by victim blaming. Arguing over which victim has it worse will get us nowhere since most victims don’t get the help they need.

http://www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf

@voicimessecrets@xanga - 

A ton of studies are cited in this video: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOu_BszChIE 
The links from that video:

http://ajph.aphapublications.org/doi/abs/10.2105/AJPH.2005.079020

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

http://www.menweb.org/battered/nvawsurv.pdf

I’m sure I could find a million more if you’re really interested.

@voicimessecrets@xanga - then it might shock you to know that i’m a victim myself.  or rather, i would be in your opinion.  in mine, i made bad choices and suffered the consequences.  and my incredibly stupid actions cannot be excused by someone else’s decision to take advantage of them.  my ex was abusive, BUT i was the one who chose to stay with him and hope that things got better.  that made me a willing participant, not a victim.  and, instead of being pitied, someone should have talked some sense into me.  

the simple fact is that, in a terrible situation, you’re either willing to fight for your survival at all costs… or you aren’t.  so i don’t have much sympathy for abused women “struggling” to get help.  help is there and will always be.  it’s just a question of whether she is willing to do what it takes.  receiving help might mean running away while the abuser is at work, leaving behind everything you own.  it might mean signing up for self defense classes.  or it might simply mean calling a friend who will, in turn, call the police.  
i think the reality is that, despite being abused, many women still love their abuser and don’t want to leave them.  they choose that love over their own safety, or even the safety of their children (which is selfish in addition to dumb).  it’s comparable to adults who choose to do dangerous drugs and risk overdosing for the joy of getting high. as adults, that’s their choice to make.  so why are we considering them victims?  

@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I hope you come to peace with your past and stop blaming yourself, because no one deserves abuse. That’s no justification for dehumanizing other victims, though. It’s not comparable to doing dangerous drugs, because drugs are not human and consciously abusing someone. Putting responsibility on the victim is not only damaging to their self-worth, but it also takes responsibility away from the abuser.

@voicimessecrets@xanga - i’m sorry, but where did i say i blamed myself for being abused?  the only blame i can shoulder is letting the abuse continue once it became clear to me how dangerous the situation i was.  THAT was entirely my responsibility, since he didn’t have me under lock and key 24/7.  i could have left and chose not to.  so, while he is entirely responsible for abusing me, i am responsible for not stopping it.  

“That’s no justification for dehumanizing other victims, though.”

i think you’re the one dehumanizing victims.  you want them to believe they were absolutely powerless and helpless in their situations.  how is that more dehumanizing than pointing out what they can do differently to better protect themselves?  if anything, you’re encouraging abuse to continue by making sure women feel incapable in dangerous situations.    

“It’s not comparable to doing dangerous drugs, because drugs are not human and consciously abusing someone.”

i don’t see how that’s relevant.  being abused by a sentient being doesn’t change the fact that STAYING with your abuser is a dumb decision to make.  in other words: someone else’s actions do not negate the consequences of your own.  being a victim doesn’t automatically make your own behavior saint-like and flawless.  

“Putting responsibility on the victim is not only damaging to their self-worth, but it also takes responsibility away from the abuser.

why can’t a victim recognize his or her own actions without being blamed for the actions of others?  an abuser can still be held responsible at the same time the abused individual acknowledges their own mistakes. i’m just not sure why you so desperately need to see this issue in black-and-white terms.  

there is ALWAYS something that can be done to prevent or stop abuse.  pointing those things out is not akin to blaming the victim, unless you’re an individual who prefers to think that everything is out of your control.  but i’d be more offended by someone thinking i was helpless than thinking i was to blame.  

There was an entire collection of tweets like that and it made me want to ram my face into my keyboard. LIKE SERIOUSLY. No, domestic abuse is not joke worthy. And I really don’t see what is so great about Chris Brown anyhow that people can overlook his actions! He seriously needs to be taken down a notch or two and unfortunately he keeps getting put higher and higher on his pedestal >_<

If a girl throws the first punch, it’s her fault, and she is in the wrong. Everyone has the right to defend themselves, even if the altercation doesn’t follow traditional gender roles.

If that’s the case, that she started the fight, then I can understand why he’s throwing hissy fits everywhere. If she started it, and he’s the one who’s getting villianized… well, that would make me mad too.

If she started the fight, then Chris Brown is getting punished for nothing other than being stronger and “winning” the fight.

@AmorVomnia7@xanga - Well said.

It’s because he’s got swaaagg ;p