We asked you to send in your most embarrassing stories, and you did!
HaleyHailstorm’s “Super Valu” story jumped out as truly epic. We couldn’t stop laughing here at Lovelyish HQ!
So without further ado:
Super Valu Fiasco
One time, I was eight years old at Super Valu (a grocery store) with my mom and brother. I really wanted a dog at the time and didn’t have one yet, so I would play in Critter World, the pet food aisle. Well, my brother (who was four at the time) had to use the bathroom. My mom took him to the bathroom and left me in Critter World. I was having a grand old time, playing in the dog beds and stuff.
Suddenly, I had an uncomfortable sensation and I realised that I HAD to go to the bathroom and FAST. So I went to the back of the store, where I thought the bathroom was. Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t there. I went back to the pet food aisle, praying that my mom was back. She wasn’t. It was becoming dire. It was coming, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.
In order to try to hold it in, I put my hands on my butt to keep it in. That didn’t work, obviously. Suddenly, it all just exploded and I had diarrhea. Also, my hands were now pasted to my butt with crap from where I tried to physically hold it in.
It gets worse. I pressed myself into a corner while waiting for my mom to come back. Suddenly, these two men who work at Super Valu come up. One of them laughs and asks if I’m hiding. I don’t say anything. I just stand there, hands pasted to my butt with crap. One of them starts sniffing and says, “Do you smell that? I think it’s the cat food. It must have rotted. We should come back and check it later.” So they mark it down to come back later.
Then I hear my name. It isn’t my mom. I look over, and these two girls from school are waving at me. I try to smile and yell “Hey!” back over to them. I couldn’t very well wave, since my hands were covered in poop. I prayed that they wouldn’t come over. If God smiled upon me at all that day, it was in that moment, because they didn’t.
Finally, my mom came back with my brother. She said, “Sorry, Haley, your brother was constipated!” I turned around to show her that I was covered in poop. She just laughed. Then she went and got a grocery cart and filled it with the free newspapers from the front of the store and stuck me in it. I was eight years old, being wheeled out in a grocery cart, covered in poop.
THEN, we see the song leader from church. As I’m being wheeled out of the store. Covered in poop. We said “Hi” and exchanged pleasantries, all while the reek of my own waste filled everyone’s nostrils.
Later, my mom said, “Well, your brother couldn’t get it out, and you couldn’t keep it in!
Thanks for sharing, HaleyHailstorm!
Lovelies, what was your most embarrassing moment ever? Post it in the comments, and we’ll share the best ones on the blog!