Lovelyish

Right. And when I run for President of the United States journalist won’t even have to make anything up because it’s already been published on Lovelyish.

My most embarrassing moment is a result of a double wardrobe malfunction five years ago while umpiring a varsity high school softball game. 

I was the home plate umpire and all was well after three innings. Nothing unusual happened, no controversial calls, no nothing. It was smooth sailing. The start of the fourth inning would bring about disaster, however. As the pitcher wound up and I dropped to the set position, I heard a very loud “RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!” After I called the pitch I looked down to find out that my pants had ripped from the ass all the way to the crotch! Embarrassed, I called time, went to the locker room, and changed into a new pair of pants. 

The very next pitch, I shit you not, I drop to the set position and again I heard a loud “RRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!” I just shook my head in disbelief and initially thought someone was probably playing a trick on me. I looked down, and sure enough it was no trick. That was two pairs of pants I’d split on two consecutive pitches. Not having any other pairs of pants, I took my uniform jacket off and tied it around my waist to hide it, but I was left freezing cold as a result as it was barely above freezing that day. 

The story does have a happy ending, however. I contacted the vendor (a specialty clothing store for sports officials) and they exchanged the pants for me, saying that the particular batch of pants that came from had faulty stitches that were ripping on everyone. I got two new pairs of pants and a letter of apology from the company over the embarrassing ordeal. 

Murphy’s law is a bitch sometimes. 

I have so many embarrassing moments! One in particular was when I was in high school on Valentine’s Day. It was the first (and still so far only) time I celebrated the day. My boyfriend at the time gave me a big bag full of gifts, and took me out to an expensive restaurant. I told him we weren’t doing anything an I just wanted to spend the day with him, but he didn’t listen. I felt bad from the start because I didn’t get him anything, since I thought we were just skipping it. Then after dinner we went back to his house to watch a movie in his room. About 10 minutes into the movie my stomach starts to hurt. I sat up from my cuddled up position and suddenly, I puked. Everywhere. I flew off of the bed not wanting to get it on there (and failed). I ended up on the floor, covered in my own vomit, in disbelief. We broke up a week later.

Okay.  This is a long one. 

One time, I was eight years old at Super Valu (a grocery store) with my mom and brother.  I really wanted a dog at the time and didn’t have one yet, so I would play in Critter World, the pet food aisle.  Well, my brother (who was four at the time) had to use the bathroom.  My mom took him to the bathroom and left me in Critter World.  I was having a grand old time, playing in the dog beds and stuff.  
Suddenly, I had an uncomfortable sensation and I realised that I HAD to go to the bathroom and FAST.  So I went to the back of the store, where I thought the bathroom was.  Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t there.  I went back to the pet food aisle, praying that my mom was back.  She wasn’t.  It was becoming dire.  It was coming, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it.  
It order to try to hold it in, I put my hands on my butt to keep it in.  That didn’t work, obviously.  Suddenly, it all just exploded and I had diarrhoea.  Also, my hands were pasted to my butt with crap from where I tried to physically hold it in.  
It gets worse.  I pressed myself into a corner while waiting for my mom to come back.  Suddenly, these two men who work at Super Valu come up.  One of them laughs and asks if I’m hiding.  I don’t say anything.  I just stand there, hands pasted to my butt with crap.  One of them starts sniffing and says, “Do you smell that?  I think it’s the cat food.  It must have rotted.  We should come back and check it later.”  So they mark it down to come back later.  
Then I hear my name.  It isn’t my mom.  I look over, and these two girls from school are waving at me.  I try to smile and yell “Hey!” back over to them.  I couldn’t very well wave, since my hands were covered in poop.  I prayed that they wouldn’t come over.  If God smiled upon me at all that day, it was in that moment, because they didn’t.  
Finally, my mom came back with my brother.  She said, “Sorry, Haley, you’re brother was constipated!”  I turned around to show her that I was covered in poop.  She just laughed.  Then she went and got a grocery cart and filled it with the free newspapers from the front of the store and stuck me in it.  I was eight years old, being wheeled out in a grocery cart, covered in poop.  
THEN, we see the song leader from church.  As I’m being wheeled out of the store.  Covered in poop.  We said “Hi” and exchanged pleasantries, all while the reek of my own waste fills everyone’s nostrils.  Later, my mom said, “Well, your brother couldn’t get it out, and you couldn’t keep it in!” 

@HaleyHailstorm - Best. Story. Ever. My roommate and I just laughed until we cried. Great story!

@HaleyHailstorm - omg. I totally died reading this. I feel so sorry for your poor eight year old self. Thanks for sharing!

I was in Wal-Mart one time and was at the cash register paying for my stuff. I finished paying for it and started to walk out, not realizing I had forgotten my bag! I was walking toward the door when suddenly I heard this loud voice yell, “Ma’am, you forgot your bag! Miss, you forgot your bag!” I quickly turned around and headed back to the cash register, and passed a little boy and his mom, and I heard the boy laugh and say, “she forgot her bag.” Ufff.  Another time I was behind someone and was waiting to pay, and the person in front of me forgot her bags, and the cashier said, “She’ll come back when she realizes she forgot her bags.” Why couldn’t I have had THAT cashier? Of course I had to have one who broadcasted it to the whole store.

Now the question is, did she buy them specifically for you or are they her leftovers?

I was in 3rd grade. The teacher had enough of everyone wanting to leave to go to the bathroom or else we’d get into trouble. I wanted to be a good girl and follow the rules, except this one time, I really had to pee. I didn’t want to get in trouble but I couldn’t hold it anymore. I was sitting down then all of a sudden all my tensions in my bladder were being released and everything was trickling down onto the floor. Someone eventually noticed and alerted the teacher. Mrs. O saw it and was really puzzled as to why there was liquid beneath me. She then called over another teacher to investigate, “Maybe it’s liquid from the radiator and the sun dried out its path then the liquid pooled underneath her?” While I was sitting down marinating in my own urine, a classmate came by to glance at what had happened. She pokes her finger through my mess, sniffs it and takes a lick.

At that moment I just died of embarrassment. Eventually the teacher pulled me aside and sent me home. She told everyone that I had a stomach ache.

My crush spent the night at my apartment. It was a last minute thing, and I am usually not the world’s best housekeeper, but this time, I could honestly congratulate myself on how clean it was when he just happened to be there. After he left in the morning, I was in the bathroom and noticed that my reusable feminine products were hanging out to dry in plain view. He had used my bathroom, and to make matters worse, washable pads are pretty much unheard of in his culture.

First some background information: I come from a highly conservative country baptist family, and the older my family members are the more strict and bible thumper-ish they become.

I had just reveled that I was sexually active to my mom (not married btw) due to the fact my ex was going to black mail me with the information. Anyways, shortly after that we go to my grandmother’s house(which is a VERY small house full of people all of the time). In the middle of the dinning room my mom starts asking questions getting louder and louder as she asks them.
First it starts out with, “Have you been feeling sick in the mornings?”… “did you use protection”… “Have you had… desires?” … “Have you ever had a orgasm?” “Do I need to buy you a dildo???“
I was like WTF, out of all places to ask that you chose my grandmothers house to ask that? I honestly think she did that to scare me out of having sex again… something about feeling shame or something.

We will not share our stories. If you’re running out, hire more competent workers.

It was my senior year of high school and my class had been in the library the previous week. I was already at the library for another class and I asked the librarian if my class was still in there. She told me “no,” so I rushed to the 3rd floor on  the other side of the building and there was a sign on the door saying that we were still in the library.

I had one minute to spare so I walked as fast as I could. Before you knew it, I slipped on the stairs and I landed right on my butt on the marble floor in front of everyone. My purse spilled (which had tampons in it) and there were papers all over the place. I had a scrape on my arm and a huge bruise on my left butt cheek to remember the incident for weeks to come, but the trauma still lives on even to this day.

I have one, at my job I was wearing khaki colored dress pants and it was that time of the month (bad idea). I work in an office with mostly guys and one of them says loudly, did you sit in red paint.   

@sometimestheycomebackanyway@xanga - When are you running? I just want to know how long I must suffer in turmoil until real hope and change gets on the ballot.

@EccentricSiren@xanga - My most embaressing storie is when ..well one of them is when i was in a movie theater with my friend.She reely wanted me to see this long movie. i had gotten a big soda and after i finished it i reely had to pee.I said i was going to go to the potty reel kwik and i would be back soon.But she thought ijust didnt want to see the movie that she chose,but so there was no argument i stayed.I was holding my self in the seet and thought i could make it.well this sounds dumb but i thought if i let some trikle out id feel a liitle better.So i peed a small bit and it made it worse.i got up and said i had to go still she didnt beilive me.So infront of everyone (the theater lights were now on) it was to late and in my white jeans pee came out of my jeans and down my legs.And to make it worse when we were trying to leev i didnt want people to see but my friend yelled out”she peed herself dont laugh”. i was sooo mad

Here is a new emberrasing storie. So last year i was playing outside.(truth or dare) Then i realized i was having my period.so i went to the bathroom to put on a pad.While i was gone my friend told the boys what it was and i was taking care of it in the restroom.When i came back the boys caugt me off gaurd and puuled down my pants and undies. iwas sure my pad was still in my undies but it was reely stuck to my… privats.The boys got a cik out of it.I tried to pul my pants up but then they took them and i was there with a pad stuck to my area in front of everyone.I put my hand over my privat part and butt and ran away. Why do boys think its funny girls go through this.