Lovelyish

My boyfriend is all about gaming. I try to remind myself that we have our whole lives together so if he wants to spend a lot of time gaming, it’s pretty okay with me. Sometimes I’ll sit on his lap and he will have his arms around me while he plays or something so he incorporates me into his game playing. He always offers for me to play with him. When I want him to spend time with me, I just ask him. I mention that he’s been playing for a really long time and I would like to just spend some time with him. He never has a problem with getting off of the game, he just always needs to finish his match haha. I think just talking it out with him would be just fine! :]

Man do I know. Don’t get me wrong, I very much love playing games myself, but I seriously can’t wrap my head around anyone who can play Starcraft II as much as my boyfriend does. The only time it really gets on my nerves is when I’m trying to ask him something or talk to him just for a minute or two and he absolutely cannot put it down for that little amount of time. He also tends to blow things off and push back time we had planned together to “finish this last game” or whatever. We’ve talked about it before and he gets better about it for a little bit, but then just kind of reverts. I honestly wish he’d just uninstall it, at least he’d be more productive. T_T

Dealin’ with this right now! My boyfriend lives at home and commutes to school and so when I’m away at college we have to keep in contact via technology – mostly texting. Lately, it’s been very inconsistant - I’ll maybe get a text or two per hour, and a phone call maybe 1 or 2 a week. I’m okay with not talking all the time, and it’s understandable that work and school come before me, but it’s frustrating when I can’t even get him to focus on me when he’s on his downtime because he’s too busy gaming!

My way of dealing with it was to ask for an hour of his night tonight to skype, and he agreed, but now got called into work. Again, understandable, but frustrating. >.< Truthfully, I think I am just being overbearing and need to take a step back and take it for what it is.

But, like yours, our relationship is very strong and this is only a very minor setback – more of an annoyance – so I’m very lucky, and I get to see him every other week. Good luck to you!:)

I’m the gamer in my relationship.  I would rather play Skyrim or Zelda or something than do anything else.  Sometimes I even choose to game instead of talking with my boyfriend (we’re long distance)!  But he appreciates my hobby and is happy that I’m still my own person.  He doesn’t complain because I still devote hours to him on skype. 

If you’re really unhappy with the situation, stop trying to make small talk while he’s gaming.  That seems like the worst time to talk to someone!  Make it a point to be completely absent more often and he’ll start calling you (if he misses you.  If he doesn’t miss you … well, that’s your answer).  The more I’m gaming and doing other things, the more my boyfriend calls me and wants to see me (on skype).  You need to get your own hobbies and friends.  And definitely talk to him about all this, too.  That’s a key element in this.  Some people don’t even realize their partner is suffering unless the partner speaks up.

Withdraw sex, and demand he grow up and stop choosing games over you.

People have hobbies. You will have hobbies, and so will he. It’s normal. What is NOT normal is choosing said hobby over the folks you love, constantly.

Had the same problem, only his addiction was blogs. I gave him a taste of his own medicine and started ignoring him for my Kindle. Worked wonders.

If he loves and cares for you as much as  you have stated, then just talk to him about it, and he’ll make it happen. 
I would advise you not be passive aggressive about this (withholding sex, or ignoring him, etc.)….it will only make things worse. Thing is, if he is truly invested in the relationship, he will make that change…and it sounds like he is!

Good luck!

my boyfriend cuddles with me while he games, but I just end up falling asleep if I don’t play with him

My boyfriend games and so do I, but it isn’t a problem for us. We’re long distance right now, and he actually gave me his XBOX 360 to hold on to, because he only has one tv at his house and his parents are always using it.

Where we have this problem is television. My boyfriend watches WAY too much TV. I love TV myself, I have several favorite shows, but with my boyfriend, there’s ALWAYS something on. He gets annoyed sometimes if I try to talk to him while he’s watching something, and then I have to point out to him that he’s ALWAYS watching something. lol. When we finally move in together, I think I am going to try getting Tivo to help solve this problem – that way he can always watch something later if there’s something else to do while its on.

Withholding sex wouldn’t go over well with my guy. Every time one of our friends says she’s going to do that, my guy chimes in telling her boyfriend, “Who cares? That’s what porn is for, right?” Or he will say, “Any girl that uses sex to get what she wants is not a girl I’d ever want.” Maybe he just bluffs here but he definitely refuses to have that “omg she won’t have sex with me!” attitude.

As for my advice, I have a gaming bf and I just save the important chit chat for when he is not distracted. So you could try to just wait until either before or after he is gaming to talk about the stuff you need his full attention on, and then see if you have anything you need to get done while you have the free time of him not in your hair.

PULL A LYSISTRATA ;D

Didn’t read, don’t care, but that picture is adorable!

Don’t talk online. Ask for a phone call. Even if he is playing a game, it’s easier to talk on the phone while you play than type while you play.

Also, if withholding sex is an option for anyone, you might want to reevaluate how good your sex life is.

In my relationship, if we are chatting via text, its okay to look at other websites, videos, or even play games and alt + tab back to check on the conversation.  But if its a time when either one of us really wants to talk and we arent close enough to each other to hang out:  it’s skype time.   having that face to face really helps focus on the convo  ANNND  skype is a big enough program to where any game would lag if they were both open. =D   I mean, you can still look at other things or pictures, even chat with someone else with text, thats fine. but atleast your convo becomes the biggest priority. 

With holding sex? Really guys? I’m not sure what kind of relationship you guys are having, but withholding sex from my husband just seems like a very very immature move, & wouldn’t fix anything! Luckily when my husband is playing his games that’s when I do my own hobbies. Just because you are in a relationship with someone doesn’t mean you need to be spending time with them 24/7. Having your “me” time is good! 

I say just suck it up, & find something to do while he is gaming. Don’t be a nag & whine about him not talking to you while he plays his game. That’s just childish in my opinion. 

My fiancée and I are both gamers. She’s in to Starcraft II, I’m in to WoW. I game a lot more than she does, but she’s trying her best to get in to WoW, as I did my best to immerse myself in her interests (kpop, specifically snsd). We’re trying to budget in both of us having WoW subscriptions just now, as well as her Starcraft sub.

She claims she’s fascinated by watching me play games, haha. I can’t see why she would be, as it’s just me shouting at a screen and furiously smashing buttons. I’ve told her plenty though that if she wants me to take a few hours off when she’s here to spend time with her then that’s fine, unless I’ve informed her in advance that I have an event scheduled in-game that I can’t really abandon. One example of that was recently when my guild did a run of ICC, which I absolutely love, but she sat next to me with a couple of beers and asked a big bunch of questions about the spells I was using and the lore. Afterwards we watched Dangerous Boys (an snsd show) for a few hours and I asked a big bunch of equally interesting questions to her about the show and about Korean culture.

Her and I have a good balance in terms of gaming and other interests.

As for advice, I’d recommend that you find something to do while he games. It sounds like he is not ignoring you simply to play games; it is just one of his interests and honestly that should be respected. Maybe you should try the games he plays, and perhaps you could play them with him! That’s why my fiancée is trying to get in to WoW; we can chat to each other in-game and we can impress each other with our respective 1337ness.

I’m really hoping we can work out a budget for both of us to have subscriptions… so we could have a LAN party! We could spend time together while doing something fun that is usually considered a solo experience. It’d be heaps of fun! ^^

Having a hobby isn’t bad. If you tell him he should stop bc you want more time, he might feel  controlled.

The problem aren’t the games (he could as well be reading books or studying or chatting with more than one person at a time…and you know it bc you play too) it’s the way he communicates with you, and that is what you should tell him. Lovelyish is giving quite good advice here in my opinion.

He can do whatever he wants to, nd maybe he needs time for his hobby too but he shouldn’t mix it up, and do so during conversations.
I don’t know if you play together, and chat IN the game or something(the post seems a little confusing there), that might be a problem if he takes it very seriously and you want to talk…in that case you should seperate it.  In general maybe an idea would be to talk on the phone/video chat more, in my expirience ppl are usually not as distracted then. When you chat it takes some time until the other one replies so most ppl do other things simultaneously.

Boyfriend and I are gamers. I was a gamer way before we were together so we understand boundaries. It’s pretty clear cut, don’t fuck with us while we’re gaming. Although females are somewhat rare in the hardcore gamer scene, I don’t want to exclude them from this generalization: When a gamer is in their zone that’s all they’re focused on, withdrawing sex won’t help..it’ll only make us play more.

We are both gamers and we often don’t play games together. I have my own set of clan mates that I’ve been with for years and we hop on different games together. I have a separate ventrilo that I hang out in. But we do sometimes play together and it’s good bonding lol. Until we start arguing about something one of us did within the game (part of the reason we don’t play together often)

ANYWAY MY POINT: If he’s serious about gaming, let him have his time. Talking while playing is a distraction and it could even get annoying or become a turn off. Understand his hobbies. People invest time and money into their hobbies. Believe me, a lot of us do know and value what’s important in life as much as it seems like we place a little more priority than we should on games. 

ALSO. It depends on how much it matters to him. I’ve had friends walk out on their gfs bc they didn’t understand. I’ve had friends lose their gfs and not care bc they really did value gaming a lot. I’ve also had friends learn to balance both, or make compromises. If he’s just a ‘casual gamer’…then it shouldn’t matter so much and perhaps you can coerce him to cut back. But if he’s serious…then let him be.

ask for a phone call, even if its just a half hour a half hour on the phone is worth more than an online conversation, in my opinion.

and then you can continue talking online if you want, but that half hour uninterrupted by games phone call will be good for your relationship, I think.

My boyfriend is a gamer, and come to think of it so am I…and to be truly honest you should be okay when he’s on his gamer mode.  Give him space to do his thing and do your own thing as well.  You don’t have to be constantly talking to him throughout the day and shit.  If you keep trying to talk to him and keep getting frustrated because he’s playing video games, then stop.  Let him play.  Just because he’s playing video games and talking to you doesn’t mean he’s ignoring you.  Just give him time to do shit he likes.

Get a cat to lay on his controller

I’m a gamer girl dating a gamer guy. I’ve been gaming long before I knew him. I’ve never had a problem getting attention or conversation from him. Maybe you should try playing with him in person instead of online or going out on a physical date away from games?

Don’t expect him to focus on online chats. If you want his attention – call him, or go to his house and spend time with him. If you’re long distance, there’s always Skype – it’s free and if he’s online anyway, he has no reason to say no to a Skype chat. If you arrange a time every night (or every other night) to Skype/call for a little bit, then he can game before/afterwards but you can still chat to him properly