A Lovely asks:

I usually have mild PMS every month, as in, just a modicum of cramps or bloating. But this month, OMG: this whole week has been insane. For a decent 5 days now I’ve been cranky as hell, eating everything in sight, bloated, sluggish and generally no fun.

Help! Is this normal, or am I just being a total d-bag and I shouldn’t blame it on my period?

Oh, girl. You know there are going to be a lot of ladies willing to empathize with you on this one. I always say, “I’m not going to let it get the best of me this month. I’m going to be ready, and I’ll just keep my mouth shut.” But the fatal flaw of this well-meaning plan is that the fundamental result of PMS is that it robs you of the energy, confidence, and mental fortitude to overcome the short-tempered snaps and the OMGIMGONNAKILLEVRY1 moments. It’s a snake eating its tail. So, now that you know that you’re not alone, here are some things to think about if you’re wondering if you’re normal, or if something is wrong.

1. What’s changed recently? Did you switch birth control, vitamins, diet or any other medication or habit? Are you outside of your comfort zone? I was PMSing while at home for Christmas and I just had to come clean to my family. I remember saying, “I’m going to claw my skin off I’m PMSing so bad,” to which my mom replied by pouring me a glass of wine and telling me to sit down. My mom is a smart lady. But the bottom line is — is anything else setting you off? Because the combination of the two could be the straw breaking your camel’s back, not a PMDD condition asking to be diagnosed.

2. Are you supremely stressed? Finals, boyfriend troubles, chores stacking up? Everything feels like an insurmountable obstacle when your essence has been drained, Dark Crystal-style, the way a nasty bout of PMS can do. In these cases it’s important to sit down and really think what’s bringing on the anger and/or impatience and really prioritize the stress. An abundance of stress on top of PMS is a recipe for a meltdown, so taking proactive steps to organize your thoughts could be a great exercise to keep you sane.

3. Are there other symptoms that aren’t usually associated with a period? I’m no doctor, but taking inventory of everything going on in your body might clarify what is PMS and what might be something bigger. If you’re just a total femme-nightmare and you recognize the feeling as just a magnification of the usual, you might just chalk it up to a bad month. We all have them. Cut yourself some slack in that case and just try to minimize how many people you inflict yourself on. But if you’re noticing other things like serious depression, changes in your sleep pattern, or bouts of totally uncontrollable crying out of nowhere, it might be best to just talk to a doctor [via NCBI].


Sometimes, you just have to let yourself off the hook. Eat some bon-bons, cry to The Notebook, (I’m a big fan of watching Netflix while taking a bath… safely), and tell everyone you’re taking a mental health vacation. Everybody has a bad month, and moreover, they get that you’re PMSing, and that you’re not just, you know, crazy. So inform your loved ones when you’re having a particularly bad time so they can stay out of your way, pour yourself a glass of red and let yourself brood. Being a girl can be so stupid sometimes, but you’ve got all of us out here who feel yah, girl. Solidarity.

Lovelies, what do you do about bad PMS months? How often do they occur for you?

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