My mother instilled in me a few things: a taste for hot sauce, a spotty sense of smell and a weak bladder. It’s because of the latter two that I am able to brave even the gnarliest of public pee-pee houses.
I have to urinate almost as much during the day as a nine-month pregnant woman. This unyielding frequency forces me to not be too picky. I’m always the first in a roadtripping caravan to request the bathroom key with the monkey wrench key-chain and the least likely to much question it. When I have to go, I will… no matter how gnarly the circumstance.
Many women get grossed out at the idea of relieving themselves in all-access squat complexes. Sure, even with my degenerating olfactory I can acknowledge the foul odor at times, but really, how long do you need to get the job done? Three minutes? Five? Maybe 10 in case of emergencies, but I can’t see developing a norm of more than that — wouldn’t want to distress co-workers about your incessant disappearing act or worse, your health.
I hear a lot of people fret over the squillions of germs sure to be rollerskating all over the toilet seat. It’s not uncommon to have a few notorious little critters like staphylococcus, E. coli and some STDs do frequent public restrooms. But you’re likely not in real danger of contracting anything. Toilet seats themselves usually don’t boast much of an infection-toting crime scene, according to Web MD. The digital doctor also said that as long as you have a decent immune system, continue the practice of post-pee handwashing and refrain from grinding your genitals on the toilet seat, you should be in good shape.
If the toilet scene is beyond heinous and I have no other options — not to brag — but I’m pretty ace at hovering relatively mess-free. I have years of outdoor peeing practice under my belt (shout out, North Florida upbringing) and also perfected my crouch with all the squat toilets in Thailand during my month there. Practice does make near-perfect, Lovelies. And if your practice is not perfect and your hover job leaves a light spray on the seat, be a dear and wipe it up. It’s not that hard.
Do you fear public restrooms? Were you too grossed out to read my whole post? Am I gross for feeling this way?