A Highland Park High School senior went out to celebrate New Year’s Eve at a concert where British DJ Rusko took the stage. She probably added something sparkly and a little extra mascara to her going out ensemble. She probably made a few New Year’s resolutions earlier that day and texted friends about her plans for the night. She probably switched purses in a last-minute decision, because she didn’t have her ID when she left that night. A seemingly small mistake that ended up having a much larger impact following the horrible events only hours later.
When the 18-year-old woman arrived at the Congress Theater for the concert, she was turned away because she didn’t have her ID. Security cameras show that she went inside a nearby restaurant, where she met up with six young men. An employee of the restaurant saw them leave together. They weren’t gone long before some of the boys returned to the restaurant to report that a girl was lying naked on the sidewalk. The restaurant employee noticed blood stains on their jeans.
The employee went outside and called security guards, presumably from the nearby concert, to grab the boys. Three of the six were found and taken into questioning. No charges were filed. Strangely, the woman’s purse was found in the driveway of Chicago’s Cook County assistant public defender.
At 9:30 p.m., the woman was found, naked, beaten and bleeding and, on Sunday morning, was listed in critical condition and in a coma. Because she had forgotten her ID at home, the woman was not identified by her family until the following day. [via Chicago-Sun Times]
Please remember that this woman was not attacked because of something she wore or because she went out at night. Countless women wore and did exactly what they wanted on New Year’s Eve and were not harassed or attacked. The only way to prevent sexual assault is to not commit sexual assault.
The Lovelyish family’s thoughts are with the victim and her loved ones.
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did she even know who these guys were before leaving a public place with them? i’m against victim blaming, but women need to learn that they HAVE to make smarter choices. i never, NEVER, go anywhere alone with strangers. it’s just flat out stupid.
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - I agree. What happened is horrible, but it makes you wonder if she kindof had it coming. As you said, it’s flat out stupid to go someone with strangers.
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I hate people.
cherry blossom / 44 posts
That’s just sad…
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@maymichellexo@xanga - exactly. i just cannot feel sympathy for victims who made dumb choices. just like i have no sympathy for car crash victims who weren’t wearing seat belts, and could have survived if they had.
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - That is a horrible thing to say and you should be ashamed of yourself. We don’t know if she knew the guys, but it doesn’t matter if she did THEY attacked HER. Sure, it might not have been wise to leave with them, but that does not mean she deserved to be attacked. This girl and her family are going through hell right now and for you to say that you can’t sympathize is just awful. Some thoughts you should really keep to yourself.
I’m pretty sure that not every single choice in your life has been stellar, so I suggest you stop throwing stones from your glass palace.
sunflower / 413 posts
Maybe she did know the guys. Just because you know someone doesn’t mean they won’t harm you. I feel so bad for this girl. No one deserves this. People need to get over themselves.
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@emptyabyss@xanga -
“ That is a horrible thing to say and you should be ashamed of yourself.”
why? i’d rather save my sympathies for victims who are kidnapped from the safety of their homes, victims who are raped by people who they know and trust deeply, victims raped by people in positions of authority over them. a majority of rapes are committed by people whom the victims know personally. so why are we focusing so much on a situation that could have been prevented?
“ Sure, it might not have been wise to leave with them, but that does not mean she deserved to be attacked.”
where did i say she deserved it? i’m merely talking about action/consequence. if you do stupid stuff, bad things happen to you. that doesn’t mean you deserve it. only a person incapable of taking responsibility for their own actions would interpret being told what they could have done better as being issued blame.
“I’m pretty sure that not every single choice in your life has been stellar”
exactly. and i don’t expect people to feel sorry for me when i make dumb decisions and suffer the consequences. i was sexually assaulted once, according to some people’s definitions. according to mine, i got super wasted, made a bad choice (if i had any choice in the matter at all), and woke up next to someone whose name i didn’t know. am i a victim? no. do you feel sorry for me? i hope not.
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - @maymichellexo@xanga - yes but how do you know that she wasn’t forced to go with them? A group of six guys, I don’t think someone would normally do that..it isn’t a smart thing to do but it doesn’t make sense either. They could have threatened her. Think before you say things like that.
peony / 1 posts
All of these people victim blaming are just exhibiting a cognitive bias called “belief in a just world” or the “just-world hypothesis.” Basically, people believe they live in a world where their choices have predictable and logical consequences. They want to believe that as long as they make “smart” choices, nothing bad like this could ever happen to them. In the grand scheme of things we all know this isn’t true. Despite how scary it is, as long as men think it’s ok to commit sexual assault, it could happen to ANYONE.
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Ladies, carry a gun in your purse. We all know that you can’t change men, and you can’t rehabilitate sex offenders.
Poor girl.
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@Peppermint__Kisses@xanga - True. But, considering it was New Years… people probably do things they wouldn’t normally do. What happened is terrible, there’s no questioning that. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
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As horrible as these events are, I’m very glad it didn’t end with her being killed. Hopefully she might take some lessons away from it all. It really sucks she didn’t have a friend or anybody she knew with her that night. :/
@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - Hahaha… Good thing no one gives a shit about your sympathies, or lack thereof…
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@trustsocialpsych - Definitely agree with you.
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I certainly hope those, who have no sympathy for her, never find themselves making a “questionable” choice and getting in harms way. You may think you’re too good for it, but you’re not. Learn some compassion.
orchid / 128 posts
Everyone has personal responsibilities, but failure to adhere to them does not make anyone lose their right to not be assaulted. Not being assaulted is a right, not a privilege granted to those who make flawless decisions.
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@WaitingToShrug@xanga - In the City of Chicago it is illegal to carry a weapon… Other wise I would have myself growing up. More like Ladies, take self defense classes…
I grew up in the city and as a young preteen and was almost snatched, more then once… Thank GOD for boxing and me carrying my master lock on a chain… Not to mention my fast ass running…
General comment****
This happened while I was in 8th grade getting out of volleyball practice once… I wasn’t dressed inappropriate and my place was just 3 blocks from the School Gym. During Daylight with people around. I was fallowed by this guy.
It doesn’t matter the situation it can happen to anyone… Even with the smartest choices made…
That’s fine if you don’t feel sorry for the person but don’t blame them for some one else’s sick ass mind and actions. Not everyone grows up being taught to fear the damn world! Even though it’s a fact that the peopl in this world are potentially dangerouse, doesn’t mean we should all be closed off and in fear!
By anyone saying the girl had it coming is basically telling the attackers it isn’t their fault and they shouldn’t be responsible for their actions. In their heads they see it as… She shouldn’t have been teasing me…
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga -
“why? i’d rather save my sympathies for victims who are kidnapped from the safety of their homes, victims who are raped by people who they know and trust deeply, victims raped by people in positions of authority over them.”
First off, a rapist is always in a position of authority. Without it they wouldn’t be a rapist. Second, your sympathies are not limited. You don’t have to “save” them. You can have them for all rape victims, because all rape victims have gone through something terrible.
If we want to put blame on victims and say things like “it was because of the decisions she/he made” then why not take it further? If you’re ever alone in a room with someone again, that’s your decision and if they decide to rape you then we don’t care. You made the call. Because you know that according to studies, around one in five men admit that they would rape someone if they could get away with it, given that the word “rape” is never used in the questions.
Back to the point though. Your sympathy is not limited and not being sorry for someone who has gone through terrible things kind of makes you a terrible person.
Also, if your assault didn’t have any effect on you emotionally and if you’re fine with it, well then no, I don’t feel sorry for you. However, given the same circumstance only you felt terrible, yes I would. You can’t just trivialize sexual assault because it happened to you and you didn’t mind.
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Why are we feeling sorry for the chick? We should definitely be sorry for the guys who potentially gang raped her because SHE was obviously asking for it, and so it should be acceptable.
Get real you inconsiderate ass-holes.
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Bad people exist, ladies. YES this can happen to anyone… but 75% of the assault/rape cases I’ve heard about in the last year have started with the ‘victim’ placing themselves in a stupid/dangerous situation. (Not an actual statistic… please note that I said “that I’ve heard about”) There are people every day kidnapped out of their homes, assaulted walking home from work, kids taken from playgrounds… the danger is real and we hear about it every day… so WHY put yourself in situations where they can do bad things to you without even having to put in any effort?
DON’T leave places with strangers, or wander around with large groups of men alone, or agree to go into the other room “to talk” with the guy at a party who has made it clear he wants to fuck you. Seriously. Ladies. Exercise common sense.
It’s not a guarantee you won’t get raped. But at least you’re not putting yourself in a situation that obviously screams ‘I am dumb, please rape me.’
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - It could have very well been guys she knew. Most people are attacked by people they know.
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@Peppermint__Kisses@xanga - well, that’s why i asked. if she was forced, then i would perceive her as more of a victim of someone else’s actions.
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@trustsocialpsych - just because it could happen to anyone at any time, that doesn’t mean you should feel free to make dumb choices without thinking of the consequences. i could die at any second from a heart attack, whether or not i’m overweight. that doesn’t mean i’m going to let myself become unhealthy.
the bottom line is: if you make responsible choices, your chances of NOT having terrible things happen to you increase. lock your doors, carry pepper spray, always walk home with a friend, keep an eye on your drink, etc.
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@blackspiders@xanga - if that were true, people wouldn’t be throwing fits about what i said.
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@emptyabyss@xanga -
“If we want to put blame on victims and say things like “it was because of the decisions she/he made” then why not take it further?”
you’re the one who is interpreting my statements as blaming… not me. if you have trouble with expecting women to make intelligent decisions and protect themselves, and see that as blame, then you have serious issues.
“You can’t just trivialize sexual assault because it happened to you and you didn’t mind.”
where did i say i didn’t mind? it was a life-changing experience. but i wasn’t a victim.
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@Megabyyte@xanga - too late, it already happened to me. you could say i was sexually assaulted, years ago. that’s part of why i don’t have sympathy. the only thing i was a victim of was my own dumb decision. i’m not a victim, and i’d be insulted if anyone saw me as such.
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - but we don’t know do we? SHE IS IN A COMA!!! Using your brain-you’re doing it wrong.
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Well, this is tragic.
But can somebody help me out … I don’t understand why people are assuming that she didn’t know these guys. All of the details in this story seem pretty vague to me, and it seems possible that she may have known them in at least some context? Maybe I’m missing something though.
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I feel something is missing from this story? Why would the same guys who sexually assaulted her go back and say the girl they beat up is lying on the floor and why did she met up with these 6 guys and left with them? did she know them? I mean these are 6 guys..its dangerous to go with 1..but 6?
orchid / 211 posts
“The only way to prevent sexual assault is to not commit sexual assault.”
Okay, I’m sorry, but I really do not get this. If I never sexually assault someone, that prevents me from being sexually assaulted? If only it were that easy for women everywhere.
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@Peppermint__Kisses@xanga - she’s not the only source of information we have. looks like you should try using your brain, too.
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - yea but she is probably the only one who can tell us why she went with them isn’t she? Or the one who would tell the real story anyway. I doubt those guys will be telling the truth anytime soon, if ever. And even if she was being a ‘risk-taker’ and freely went with guys she didn’t know (maybe she did know them, that’s another issue altogether) it is not right to go about saying that she deserved to be (most likely) raped then beaten into a coma. No one can ever truly know the consequences their actions will bring and it is not for us to judge others especially in these kinds of situations. Your take of not feeling sympathy because there are ‘worse cases’ out there just continues the cycle of victim-blaming and makes you seem callous and as if you feel you are a superior being.
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nobody should be violated because of a bad choice. our society should not make excuses for people with such evil intentions. read a history of rape if you have no empathy for rape victims. k, thanks.
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@too_pretty_to_die@xanga - you can acknowledge that someone perhaps should have made better choices and still have sympathy for them. plenty of people make bad choices and face no consequences. this girl made a questionable decision and may pay the ultimate price, not really because she made a bad decision but because other people made disgusting, violent decisions.
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Tell me you guys havent made a “dumb” choice/mistake before. In her case, she made one at the wrong place and time. This is an unfortunate situation, I hope she gets better soon. But really what makes me wonder is, why would the boys go back with blood on their jeans alerting the employees that shes been attacked? Im guessing maybe only a a few guys from the group attacked her while the other half was disgusted and ran for help? Hmm :S