In the new year, our resolutions run the gamut from breaking a bad habit to fitting into last year’s jeans. We all want to feel that punctuation, though, a sense of renewal. I know I want that. You might be familiar with my affinity for juicing. So, I decided to embark on a juice cleanse to kick off the new year. Mine isn’t very drastic, but it did pique my interest to see what other cleanses are out there.
I had a few reasons to give this juice cleanse a whirl: One was that I happen to have a few days off of work in a row, so I won’t be inflicting myself on a lot of strangers (just in case the lack of solid food makes me irritable); another was that my boyfriend is out of town, so he won’t have to put up with me much either; and third, I ate… um, a lot over Christmas with my family. There was more wine and calories than I’ve had in a long time, but they were mighty delicious. So, the idea of the cleanse for me isn’t to lose weight. I’m happy with my weight and I also run fairly frequently. I don’t intend to starve myself. But I do feel sort of listless and out of my routine, so I figured I’d just take three days to reboot by drinking only fresh, raw juice. So far, everything smells like food, juicing cilantro makes me crave phô and watching Epic Meal Time was a colossal error. But at 5-foot-8 and 110 pounds, I’m a small person. If my vision starts going wobbly or I can’t think straight, I’ll probably cave.
However, there are some much more challenging cleanses out there. I have a friend who did the Master Cleanse which I’m sure you’ve heard about in one way or another (I think Kat Von D attempted it briefly on her show a few years back), and she did it lock, stock and barrel. She had the pamphlet detailing the benefits and how-to (pictured above), drank the salt water every morning and loaded up on nothing but the detoxifying lemonade/cayenne/maple syrup mixture all day for 10 days. She was a wreck, but she said she enjoyed it overall. I’ve seen some terrifying pictures on Google (search the term “master cleanse poop” at your own risk — you’ve been warned), but I’ve heard of people doing it more than once, so it has to at least feel like it’s worth it. I feel like it’s a little over my head.
Enzymatic cleanses have been popping up at my supermarket and health food store lately, so I read up. Apparently they are designed to be “gentle” in that they use a combination of fiber for your stomach, milk thistle for your liver and bile, and a natural laxative to get rid of everything. It takes two weeks, and best I can tell it’s recommended that this accompany a whole food diet, so it’s not a fast. I don’t know anyone who’s tried it, but if you have, leave a comment below and tell us how it went. I’d like to know if it really is as gentle as it says. My experience with herbal stimulants like Senna tea were, um, uncomfortable. Effective but uncomfortable. So do tell!
And since it appears the pricey holistic services of the upper classes in Hollywood and elsewhere have trickled down to us simple (read: hippy) folk in Austin, I can’t mention a cleanse around friends or clients without hearing the word “colonic.” It’s a process where a hose stimulates your colon with warm water to make you pass all your waste all at once. It sounds like I’d leave feeling empty, naturally, but like someone took something from me. Perhaps that’s the point. I can’t speak from experience, but a client of mine attended a “life mastery” seminar for a week a few years back and subsisted on a liquid diet and as many colonics as she wanted. She said she did five while she was there and left feeling like she was 18 again. She was 38. So, I can’t speak for its daintiness or comfort; it’s definitely not a pedicure. But it does seem to have the appeal of a true cleanse, whether we need that or not I don’t know.
There are tons of spins on these out there, too. Some people go juice and broth, some people really go for the weight-loss angle and that’s a whole other conversation. But I can say, a day into my cleanse I’m already designing my meals for when I get done. It’s mind over matter, and it’s a healthy exercise. But I think three days will be just enough, if for no other reason than it’s boring.
Have you done any type of cleanse, light or intense? Are you for or against the idea?
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I try to fast once in a while as a cleanse with only water but it’s really difficult and I usually end up eating something like raisins or a banana.
The one time I was successful (and it ended up being 36 hours, not 24) I woke up in the morning sweating profusely with a rapid heartbeat, nausea and severe dizziness because my blood pressure had dropped really low.
Ever since then I’m very careful about fasting – I tried last Monday but ended up eating at around 5:30pm because I was feeling a little woozy. I think fasts and cleanses are fine as long as you take care of your body’s needs should something not feel right. Also, make sure you do them at good intervals and not all of the time.
orchid / 217 posts
Master Cleanse. 14 days. Completely awesome. Really, if you can get past Day 3, cravings and ‘feeling hungry’ completely disappears. It’s actually one of the things that some doctor’s encourage cancer patients to do because it gets rid of all toxins in your body and allows your digestive tract to rest, meaning you can fight disease/infections that much better.
You get plenty of calories from the syrup in the lemonade, plus most people are drinking more water each day than they ever had before. It is not a starvation fast, it is not intended to lose weight – yes, you lose weight as a side effect, but if you don’t watch exactly what you put in your mouth, you gain everything right back when you come off the fast.
I know someone who did it for 52 days and claimed to have never felt better in her life.
If you do the Master Cleanse, get that book and follow it. The biggest things I can say about doing the MC is drink the salt water every day, shower every day, and get some form of exercise every day – even if it’s just vacuuming the house or playing with the dog. You will feel amazing if you can stick with it. And having someone to do it with makes it that much easier to stay on it. I’m actually thinking about doing it for Lent. Good luck!
rose / 937 posts
@sorority_girl86@xanga - I do not at all ever recommend drinking salt water. This is not healthy to do. In some cases consuming more salt will be ideal in terms of electrolytes, but drinking salt water on a regular basis (unless your doctor recommended it) is not something anyone should ever do.
rose / 937 posts
Unless supervised and recommended by a doctor, no. Especially since a lot of these can actually be quite unhealthy. The body detoxes itself just fine; if you aren’t putting crap in your body while on a cleanse, then of course there will be less to be detoxed. So the simple solution would just be to clean up your diet more as opposed to fasting/cleansing. Your body will adjust to the diet, and I think it’s a safer alternative to fasting/cleansing because it’s a far more gradual process. You are still providing your body with much-needed fats, sugars, proteins, etc etc, and so you will not suffer the terrible grogginess, hunger pains, and cognitive issues that you’ll get when you don’t eat.
Also, the colon is actually clean. There’s nothing in there to be flushed out. Did you know that simply taking more fibre into your diet will have the same (if not more positive) effect that a marketed colon cleanse product will have at a much much cheaper price? If you want to feel 18 again, just eat a diet that allows for your bowel movements to be far more regular. Seriously, when I was taking Metamucil every day and was on a very consistent defecation schedule, I felt great! Even when I had stopped exercising (although exercise obviously helped me feel even better overall). Keep a healthy (or healthier) diet, drink enough water, increase fibre, exercise, and.. that’s about it
Also, a video about cleanses and such: http://www.cbc.ca/marketplace/2009/how_not_to_win_500000/busted.html
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When my body needs a detox, I simply eat nothing but rice with butter and salt for a day or two, and then slowly re-add various fruits and vegetables to the diet (i.e., tomatoes, cucumbers, avocado, bananas). It’s also a great way to figure out if you’re allergic to something.
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@ashleynicole - Yeah, I thought the salt water solution was only to be drunk before a colonoscopy? I didn’t know people drank it to detox their bodies. I can’t imagine it being healthy over any course of time. -_-
orchid / 217 posts
@ashleynicole - Yes, salt water, without any non-saline type of water, is bad for the body… if you are trying to use it to hydrate yourself. This salt water is so concentrated that it is virtually impossible for your body to absorb any of the salt and instead it forces your intestines to contract and expel the salt water and other solids from the small and large intestine.
While I can understand that you should not do this just for the hell of doing it, unless you are on a cleanse, I have had multiple doctors tell me that when used in conjunction with a fast or in the case of constipation, consuming salt water in order to flush the body is an appropriate option.
rose / 937 posts
@sorority_girl86@xanga - I personally don’t recommend drinking salt water at all, even if some doctors say that it’s okay. Salt is a solute, so it will suck in water. This is why it’s advised to gargle with salt water when you are sick, as the salty solution will draw out the water from bacteria cells through osmosis, helping to kill the bacteria. So if you are fasting and drinking salt water, then the salt will draw out water from your body, causing you to feel even more thirsty. Becoming more thirsty isn’t a problem, but the problem lies in drinking too much water, as that can actually lead to serious health risks, and possibly even death in extreme circumstances. And if you are drinking a salty solution, I can easily see the possibility of drinking far too much water in an attempt to both flush the system out more efficiently while fasting and to quench that thirst. While it’s a lot easier to monitor your salt water versus normal water intake, combining it with a fast just seems to be far too risky, especially when one takes into account the impaired cognitive abilities that occur when one goes without food for a good while.
If the goal is to “flush out” the system, then a far safer and healthier alternative would be to simply consume more fibre along with appropriate water intake for the amount of fibre being ingested. And I can say from experience, increased fibre will definitely have an impact on your bowels; come pomegranate season, I can easily down 2-3 in a day, and I can easily have to defecate a few times a day because of it.
orchid / 217 posts
@ashleynicole - So, I take it that you have tried the Master Cleanse before, and that is why you recommend against it then?
rose / 937 posts
@DrakonFyre@xanga - I’ve never heard of people just eating rice for a few days. I know that that would likely cause me a lot of gas and bloating; as much as I love rice, I have to be sure I don’t stuff my face with it (while also making sure to eat it slowly) otherwise I experience temporary stomach issues! But yes, an elimination diet while eating a few non-problematic items can definitely help you to determine what specifically is causing any stomach/bowel problems. When I was sick in 2010, I was barely able to eat, but when I could eat I’d only be able to keep down chicken, yogurt, and fruit. And I definitely do think that my stomach was happier for it (in spite of what was making me sick of course).
rose / 937 posts
@sorority_girl86@xanga - No. I recommend against cleanses and fasts simply based on past research and anecdotal evidence I’ve looked through, and it’s my personal choice that a detox, cleanse, or fast does not actually benefit the body any more than simply changing one’s diet and activity, with the former having more negative side-effects. And with salt-water intake, that’s simply a matter of looking at the science behind it and deciding that science is right in advising against salt water consumption unless a doctor has been consulted and it is shown to be something that will be okay to do for a short time. There have been times when I’ve gone without food for some time without the intent of fasting (such as being sick or just being too preoccupied in other stuff to want to bother), and there really were no positive effects. The only time I saw positive effects from barely eating was last year when I was hospitalized, in which I lost some weight. But that weight came right back when I ate normally again. At that time I was also given a good dozen litres or so of saline through IV drips because of how dehydrated my body was, and all that extra water in my system just made me want to pee every 10 minutes.
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@ashleynicole - Well I think extreme detoxes are to be treated carefully no matter what kind we use. What I like about the rice diet is that it absorbs a lot of the acid in my stomach, and it is extremely rare for anyone to be allergic to rice. Usually if I feel that I need a detox I simply stick to absolute basics. Rice, veggies, fruit, maybe a little fried meat in olive oil to add some protein. I only go to the extreme when I am trying to detect a possible allergy.
orchid / 217 posts
@ashleynicole - Ah, okay then. Thanks for clearing that up for me. I wasn’t sure if you had any personal experience with a fast or cleanse, but now I understand.
rose / 937 posts
@DrakonFyre@xanga - The difference with your approach though is that you are still eating. Albeit not a variety, but you aren’t going days or weeks eating just rice, you are still incorporating pretty basic/bland and thus more neutral foods that don’t really negatively impact your body. And keeping that food intake (especially fats and sugars) is something that the brain relies heavily on. So out of all these different approaches, I’d only advocate yours, of course with the individual customizing it to find their main base food item if rice is problematic for them (I think that rice, like gluten, can be a bit iffy for some). A nice, lean protein like chicken or turkey would be a good choice. Personally I’d probably stuff my face with potatoes, as I think they are probably one of my fave foods lol.
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@ashleynicole - omg I am obsessed with potatoes! They are usually the first thing I re-introduce to my diet after a detox. I love them boiled, baked, mashed, sliced, fried, stuffed… they are always delicious and there are so many different ways to eat them.
rose / 937 posts
@ivarahBharavi@xanga - I experienced this same issue when I was sick in 2010 and was unable to eat (while experiencing some throwing up and diarrhea - I know, TMI!), it was horrible. And I also had a similar experience when I was working at Chuck E Cheese and the managers would not let me take a break during my 8 hour shift or to eat despite my asking repeatedly; it was only 8 hours, but I had not eaten since breakfast and my shift ended near supper, so that combined with a LOT of running around and sweating/overheating, I felt like garbage, and by the time I was able to go home my stomach was so sore and my head was pounding so much that I couldn’t even eat! I have a feeling that regular cleanses could even potentially lead to anorexic behaviour for some, especially if they continue being active (known as activity anorexia), so this is definitely something I feel needs to be looked at with a lot of caution and watching-over.
rose / 937 posts
@DrakonFyre@xanga - OH my God, drool-worthy lol. I sometimes only eat potatoes for supper, just a huge plate of fork-mashed boiled potatoes with butter and ketchup. I really want potatoes now, dammit!
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Whether or not enzymatic/herbal cleanses and the like are actually ‘gentle’… it varies from person to person. You used senna tea as an example… I could literally drink it every day because it’s so easy on my system… but I’ve head of people who say it causes them naught but discomfort and pain. It’s the same with this type of cleanse.
rose / 834 posts
Master cleanse: 6 cups of coffee every morning.
Voila. Cheap. Easy. MakesYouHyperandSuperProductive.
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it’s phở, not phô.
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These things are stupid and I wouldn’t trust them with my body. Water is a great cleanser and so is a high fiber diet. You’re pretty dumb if you think this will make you healthier…
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Why do you need to do a cleanse? The body is designed to cleanse itself… simply clean up your diet, eat plenty of fiber and drink plenty of water. Just as effective, if not more, than a “cleanse”.
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I am CONSIDERING doing the Veggie/ Fruit Juice 10 day Cleanse.
But, it is still in the consideration stage. I might try a three day first and then move to a 10 day if I can manage. I don’t know yet, I have mixed feelings about it.
Which Juicer are you using? That is currently what I am researching.
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Nope. I like food that I can eat with my face.
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It works and is worth it. Low calorie for a year and I went from 190 lbs to 145 lbs.
orchid / 169 posts
I have done the master cleanse and I have friends who have done it, they do it like twice years…its actually something their whole family does. it helped me with my allergies and to slim down bloating i had and swelling in my ankles. i think i will do it once or twice a year like them. so far i have only done it once. occasionally i fast on water or juice or milk for a couple days…
orchid / 169 posts
@MaidenOfTheFae@xanga - Good for your girl!
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I’ve done a one-day cleanse before, called the Blue Print Cleanse. It’s a juice cleanse, and it has enough calories to sustain you. Plus I thought they were really good tasting.
I don’t know if I actually needed it though. Really, I just like to try things and I was curious.