To pretend you don’t procrastinate on G-chat semi-regularly is about as believable as pretending that the Kardashians don’t intrigue you in the least (be it for good or bad). So let’s talk about the five people likely pinging from your list right this minute. And spoiler alert: You might fit one or more of the below descriptions.

Of course after some fun, distracting back-and-forth, the convo must end or at least take an extended pause, hence the famous last words section. Which of these types of people with whom do you most often find yourself most conversing?



1. The Cliffhanger. He or she knows how to verbally weave one helluva intriguing story. The setting is relateable, the main characters mystify and the plot thickens. That’s when this person remembers his or her laundry a few blocks away but forgets to drop the “brb” line.
Famous last words: “omg, then get this”

2. The Cuddler. This person has a masterful command on all things cute in video form. Here’s the first person to shoot the soon-to-be viral furry awesome your way but on the same token, the last person to remember that your office computer won’t play sound. The amount of videos can get overwhelming, but The Cuddler’s gift of adorable usually doesn’t go unwelcomed.
Famous last words: “Right?!!!!1 i want one or 7.”

3. The Dramatic. AKA The Whiner, this person wears glasses filtering out seemingly all things posi. He or she is exhausting to talk with and totally unreceptive to advice, cottling, anything helpful. You’re the porous, receiving void and The Dramatic has no issue dumping all emotional baggage at your virtual loading dock. His or her first message can usually be greeted with a defeated sigh.
Famous last words: “i just wonder… UGHH”

4. The Braggart. This person has it all or so he or she would like you to think. The Braggart is a pro at offering examples of impressive self-worth almost always unsolicited. He or she has done everything cool you’d like to do and has no qualms painting ever envy-inducing detail of these endeavors. It’s unclear if The Braggart’s motives include convincing you or himself or herself of his or her coolness.
Famous last words: “but that was before the awards!”

5. The Newshound. The Newshound takes a fine tooth comb to various Twitter lists, RSS feeds and endless blogs on the regular, spitting out highlights (or just randoms) in your direction after. Link after link after link, usually followed by three word reactions. It’s cool to have someone so informed within a pixelated arm’s reach, but sometimes you wonder how much he or she actually consumes or even begins to process before allocating findings.
Famous last words: “http://whatever.com/123456 ha”
Which type do you think you are most like? (I’m No. 5, oops.) What types am I missing? What do you think of Google chat?