My mom and aunt used to have matching Christmas sweaters they wore every year, without fail, to our annual neighborhood Christmas party. The sweater boasted many, many wreaths with these horrible pom-poms hanging from them, an offensive red scalloped trim and bells. Actual bells. That rang. It was a very unfortunate situation for my young, budding fashion psyche.
But, while Christmas themed sweaters have maintained their reputation of general offensiveness with the world at large, they have made a comeback of sorts, albeit bathed in irony.
Within the past few years, it seems, ugly sweater parties have become a holiday staple. You know, have a few alcoholic beverages with your friends in your finest wool/angora blend sweater with the almost life-sized penguin on the front, who happens to be jointly ice skating on one flipper(?), holding a candy cane and drinking hot chocolate during what appears to be a blizzard. Get wild.
The idea should sound unappealing to me. It doesn’t, though. It sounds fun. It sounds awful. And the marriage of those two adjectives usually breeds an unforgettable time.
And so, I provide some inspiration? Entertainment? I’m not sure which — but here’s some of the worst (or most creative? So many mixed emotions!) Christmas sweater ideas of the season.
1. The DIY sweater. Dissect your favorite stuffed animal, limb by limb, and attach it to the front of a sweater. Creepy, yet effective.
2. The “it’s so bad it’s good” sweater. Pink fur. A maybe seductive snowman. The most scant Christmas trees ever, paired with the most rotund snowflakes ever. Ugly sweater criteria trifecta.
3. The all-in-one vest. The vest that says everything without really saying… anything. And since when do peace signs precipitate?
4. The sweater that makes a not Christmas-y situation… Christmas-y sweater. I understand that warm places need to create their own Christmas cheer without the help of snow, sleds and warm winter jackets. But plopping two flamingos in Santa outfits while they appear to eat Christmas stockings amid some grass-like plants is just a whole new level. Plus the fur collar. Come on.
Are you planning or attending an ugly Christmas sweater party this holiday season? If so, share your sweaters!