Lovelyish

i think it should be accepted because it is true that if its two adults who know what they are doing , then who are we to tell them not to be together? 

but also, they have to know the possible consequences that come with it if one day they decide to have children. 
I wouldn’t personally do it because I don’t think i’ll ever like my cousins. but if thats for you go for it. 

I can see the similarity, in regards to tolerance, but it still comes down to marry someone with similar DNA and marrying someone your are not related too.

Whatever floats your boat is my response. As long as everyone consents then go get married.

I don’t know what the law is around marrying your cousin is in Canada (where I’m from) but now I’m curious. Gay marriage is legal all across Canada and is seen as a right that cannot be taken away.

If we have opposite sex marriage, same sex marriage and people wanting an incest marriage (for lack of a better word) then I think we need to reevaluate polygamy (which Canada did recently but kept it illegal which I disagreed with for reasons that would take up too much space here).

The moral of this whole story is consent. 

forget the cousin thing…. is it alright to sleep with your sister was the first one to pop up on googles auto guess…. EW 

@kaybaby666@xanga - Loved your reply! I’m also Canadian. I too am now extremely fascinated as to find out what the law is in Canada regarding the marriage of (first or otherwise) cousins…

Personally, I’m all for gay marriage, marriage between cousins, or even polygamy. Would I have any of these types of marriages myself? No. But

I think those who want to be involved in these types of commitments should be legally entitled to do so. I’m not going to put my beliefs above anyone elses. Who am I (or any of you readers) out there to tell someone who they can and cannot have a commitment to or who they can love? 

Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. If you think gay or cousin marriage is evil, wrong, or gross, then that’s your thought process. Please don’t respond to me trying to change my beliefs. I have my beliefs and you have yours. Just wanted to provide some feedback for the author and others. It’s interesting to see the varying perspectives on hot issues like this!
Props to the writer. I think that this was a well-written, interesting article & it is sure to spawn a lot of attention! 

i think they are both wrong. society has allowed the gay marriage movement which is now giving rise to to other pervertedness, because now people think that “anything goes”. 

Whats next? marrying your siblings?

I don’t give a shit. I don’t think incest should be illegal. I don’t carry if you want to marry a distant cousin or your sibling or parent. What consenting adults do is their business and their business alone, and the government shouldn’t have a say in it. 

I also support the legalization of polygamy/polyandry and same sex marriage as well. Again, as long as all parties consent, I think they should have legal protection just as monogamous straight couples. 

@freebirdheart@xanga - Give me a legitimate secular (i.e. non-religous) reason against either one, and maybe I’ll buy into it, but you can’t, so there are no good reasons to. 

Once again, we see why religion is a mental illness. 

I just don’t give a shit about the sexual preferences of the general public. As long as it doesn’t involve animals or children I could care less about what you do in the bedroom. 

These are two completely different issues. There’s nothing wrong with being gay and same sex marriage. Incest on the other hand is just gross. There are enough people in the world that you should be able to meet someone you like outside of your family. I can’t believe more sates allow cousins to marry than sam sex couples, that’s just sad.

@kissmycouturex@xanga - Well thank you! It is indeed a hot debate and I definitely hear your response and totally relate. I do believe everyone is entitled to do what they’d like, but it’s interesting that these images pop up and are placed in comparison to one another on maps such as these, one is viewed as good or bad, different or the same, comparable to the other or not, I’m interested to hear everyone’s thoughts. 

wow its legal to marry your first cousin in my state…I wouldn’t!!

@kissmycouturex@xanga - I agree! You basically said everything I was thinking of. In the case of polygamy, as long as it was clear to everyone getting into it. Also I agree that there’s no point in disputing over personal believes over the internet. People have their reasons and arguments and everyone’s entitled to it. 

Personally though I still find incest on a different level than gay marriage. I can’t explain it and i’m not trying to argue it, but it just seems different. 

I don’t know that I have strong feelings about gay marriage.  My opinion has always been that I don’t feel that I have the right to say that two people of the same sex should or should not marry.  That is a choice that they can make. 

In the case of incest, there is a reason it is deemed inappropriate.  There is a high risk of birth defects when people of the same gene pool procreate. This is why a lot of royals in history had hemophilia.  They tried to keep the line to the throne in the family, and if both people had recessive genes, the disease would manifest itself.  The odds of two unrelated people having that gene is much lower.  But I digress.  I think there are clearer arguments against incest.

In short, no, they are not equal.

Firstly, sleeping with your cousin is not incest. Having a child with your cousin is really not the worst thing ever. There are countries where marrying your cousin is still completely normal. I really don’t see the stigma. I DO see the stigma of actual incest, sleeping with a brother, sister, parent, or child. But I’m gonna honest, if a brother and sister are both adults, and want to get it on, want to get married, then…I guess that is there business. They probably shouldn’t have children together though…

I think it would make me a hypocrite to be fully in support of legal marriage for people of the same sex and not other people just because they share relatives. Any competent adult should be able to marry any other willing, competent adult under the law.

@freebirdheart@xanga - Yes. Because at the end of the day, what does it matter to you besides going against your “morals”? I think incest is disgusting and wrong, and they are being irresponsible if they have children together (but not any more irresponsible than a couple with a history of mental illness or other stuff in their family) but that is MY opinion and I’m not going to limit the legal rights of two adults who want to be legally married just because they are gay, cousins, or siblings. You don’t have to like these people, you don’t have to be their friend, but you shouldn’t impose on their legal rights when they aren’t imposing on yours.

Scientifically, it’s not recommended

@kissmycouturex@xanga - According to the Marriage act (http://laws.justice.gc.ca/eng/acts/M-2.1/page-1.html) in Canada you can’t marry anyone you could be related too….I just can’t find the subsections on this website to get the finer details.

Part of whether or not society believes any thing should be legal to happen is based off of how it’s portrayed to us. Gay marriage is bad when we believe that gay individuals are perverts and sexual predators, polygamy is bad when we only hear about in the context of the FLDS and their underage marriage/sexual abuse and incest is bad when we hear it being done by relatives to a young child in the form of abuse. I feel very confident that I could say every time of relationship imaginable is out there and for some people working just as well as a monogamous opposite sex marriage is SUPPOSED to work. It’s not like “traditional” marriage is perfect!  

@Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - My understanding is it is all types of multiple partner marriages. Polygamy is the umbrella term for all group marriages. Polygyny is 1 man and multiple women and polyandry, which you mentioned, is 1 woman and multiple men.

This confuses me because there are couples out there that we would call “swingers” that do have multiple partners but as soon as you say, “I’m MARRIED to this person, and this person and this person etc” suddenly it becomes illegal. People can have multiple “uncommitted” relationships at one time but not multiple committed marriages? 

@PsychedelicaMF@xanga - actually, studies have shown that the biological child of first cousins is just as likely to have birth defects as the child for a forty year old woman. you wouldn’t stop her reproducing,, so why stop the cousins doing so?

See http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/12/cousinmarriage/ and http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/theres-nothing-wrong-with-cousins-getting-married-scientists-say-1210072.html as a couple of sources supporting this.

@Digital_Angel21@xanga - I agree with you completely.

Not to get all semantics on you but incest refers to first degree familial relationships only like your mother, father, sister, brother… someone with whom you have a considerable amount of shared DNA. You share half your DNA with each parent, that’s incest. Siblings, assuming they’re from the same parents as you are half. Half-siblings and children of your full-blooded sibling are a fourth. 

Your closest cousin only shares 1/8 of your DNA. 

The only reason I could see why not is because any children born of them could have genetic abnormalities. I do think that is usually a product of brother sister incest and not cousin incest. As far as the actual love, sex, and marriage aspect; well that’s really not any of my business. I’m also OK with polygamy. As long as all these adults are consenting there should be no issues.

Once my guy cousin and I were talking in a room and the door was closed. I havent seen him in forever so we talked for awhile. My aunt went to the room and opened the door. Both of us were confused so he went to ask “why open the door?” He got the answer “So I wont think it is ok to be alone with a boy… that things might happen.” blah blah blah. Both of us laughed and we started saying “Lets hurry up and make out now before they suspect anything future!” HAHAHA We are cousins, I dont think “I’ll learn a lesson” from not being able to talk with him alone. The naughty business with my bf happened while my mom was still at school (she’s a teacher) or bored fun when my friends took me from my house to hang out.lol. I just though it was so stupid. I may have a kid now but its not from talking behind closed doors. Im raising my 3 year old and going through college so who is the mislead one now? I’ll have a job that I love and a Kindergartener while my other cousin’s ”acceptable situations to have children” are still trying to figure out diaper costs and daycare.

AAaaahhh!!! I can not wrap my head around incest. That is just too weird to me. I really am not sure if I would want marriage of it legal/illegal, I’ll vote when the time comes. 

incest=increased chance of getting a handicapped or retarded baby

@freebirdheart@xanga - You know what else has helped society become more perverted? Porn, Photoshop, reality shows, certain types of music… yet we don’t make those illegal.

I think if your hands are calloused then you’re definitely doing it wrong.

If everyone is saying “Love is love,” let the gays marry, but then say that being married to your first cousin is wrong, then that’s just being a hypocrite. I believe ANYONE should be allowed to get married, because at the end of the day, who’s business is it of mine to judge someone who they love? It’s not me that is doing it, so why would I want to say, “No, don’t do that, that’s not right!” I call bullshit.

& I’ve read studies where a person who has a baby with their first cousin, has the same risks of having a baby with down syndrome the same percent as a woman who has a baby over her 30′s. So the whole debate of having deformities/ down syndrome is just an old wives tale.

I know someone who is married to their first cousin, and I see nothing wrong it, plus they are probably one of the best couple I know.

@JanEdichotoMY@xanga - That may be true if you have a baby with your brother or sister. But for a cousin? You only share 1/8 DNA with your closest. So I suggest you have support with you claim, instead of just an old wives tale that you’ve heard about.

@Mrs_FoodLover@xanga - Well, also consider THIS –

About a hundred years ago (maybea a tad more) EVERYONE married their first cousins. Like, HELLO who else saw “Gone with the Wind” ? (Ashley, married to his FIRST cousin anyone?)

And now, I’m curious (this is to you personally) if say- a father and DAUGHTER want to marry, do you think that would be okay too? Would you recognize them as man and wife (I’m not trying to bait you here, I really just want to know)

If we’re going to ban incest on the basis that it is potentially harmful to the child, then we should do the same for anyone who has genetic illnesses that can be passed on to the children. It’s not as simple as what people are making it out to be. 

Well, what’s next?  We can marry dogs!!  For shame!

No, seriously.  The issue here is one of what society deems acceptable.  And since society is constantly morphing, gay marriage has gone from something “unheard of” to something that more and more people in society are accepting.  It is inevitable.  The fact that you can still marry your cousin in some states is more a byproduct of older generations then some kind of new awareness about the beauty of true love.  Heck, my great-grandparents were first cousins… (one child was deaf, one child was blind and one was my grandfather… not good odds there.) 

Absolutely, nothing wrong with letting some aspects of our culture to define what we deem acceptable in America.  Otherwise, technically we’d have to let all consenting adults marry whoever they want and that would include teachers marrying their students or something.  Is it really infringing on most American’s rights to marry their cousins?  Probably not.  Is it infringing on most gay couples rights to marry… well, yeah. 

@LKJSlain@xanga - Was browsing through and saw this. If the daughter is 18 or older, then the answer is yes. Legally you should have a right to marry your grandmother if you wanted. It’s about consenting adults. We might be personally disgusted by it (Hell, I’m disgusted with the fact that my parents pork it but I have no moral qualms with it), but that doesn’t make it morally wrong. 

what about marrying a cousin of the same sex

@LKJSlain@xanga - If it’s father & daughter, I don’t think that’s right. To me that is incest because he obviously produced her,raised her while she was little, & so on, so falling in love with… It doesn’t seem right. I think love is love regardless, but when I think of that situation, I couldn’t imagine myself falling in love with my Dad, or knowing someone that did, & being okay with it. It’s not my business, but I would just find it weird. But if it happened I can’t say how I would react. Maybe I’d agree with it. *shrug* As for cousins getting in a relationship, I would accept it, because they only share 1/8 DNA while a father & daughter share WAY more than that. There would be high chances of having a child & it coming down with downs syndrome because their blood lines are so close… But if they decided not to have kids, well then I would think it’s okay. I try not to be judgmental as much as I can. I may be calling myself a hypocrite here while I say that, but that’s just what I think. 

Also, I must point out that it is ILLEGAL to get married to your cousin in Texas, so that map is wrong.

i don’t get the big deal… if two cousins want to get married, let them. they’re consenting adults. ditto gay people. it isn’t my place to judge anyone. 

in regards to the polygamy/andry conversations people are having here… i don’t really oppose it either. my only wonder is, should that become legal, how in the world do insurance companies tackle that? can you all have a joint bank account? etc

That is a shitty ad board and incorrect, at that! It is not legal to marry your first cousin in Texas. Or most states. This is useless propaganda.

I don’t see how these are comparable at all!!  Gay marriage doesn’t harm anyone!  Cousins getting married and having babies can have terrible ramifications on the health of the child.  Then those mutations can be passed on to their children and so on.

While I don’t believe the government should have the right to tell ANYONE who they can/cant marry or have children with…. I completely disagree with close cousins procreating.

As long as they are both two consenting adults then we have no right to obstruct their love. People who don’t support one or the other sicken me, love is love, keep your Bible out of everyone’s faces.

@wretched_epiphany@xanga - 

Using that logic, gay people can’t even reproduce on their own, one step below the incest causing “major” genetic problems, thus they shouldn’t be allowed to be together either. You support gay marriage? Looks like your logic against incest is contradictory, you would have to be against gay marriage and the global population’s reproduction if you followed your thought process correctly.  
This genetic talk is idiotic. EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD has hundreds of genetic mutations. You support gay marriage yet can’t get over the idea of incest, because it causes genetic mutations? LOL WHOOPS, THE ENTIRE WORLD IS ONE BIG MUTATION.

We need to start giving out biology and logic lessons here…

“we’re not speaking of people with an exclusive preference for ones own cousins or other relatives”…that’s exactly the point. I don’t know if it’s “right” or “wrong…but by that logic, why no do it wih siblings and parents as well? Either there is a law that resricts who you can marry or not. Thinking about it I am all for liberty. Some people fall in love with an older person, and the offspring i at a higher risk of genetical ‘dysfunctions’, but it is widely accepted.

I think maybe the state goes so far in deciding who is gettig supported in having kids by being allowed marriage( I think that is the main argument) and who isn’t…but maybe the incest laws do more good than harm, and are not damaging for the individual for the reason mentioned above.

I am not a scientist, but I would simply not recommend having kids with a relative. I think for that reason most people aren’t attracted to their reatives. Love however is a different thing.  If you think about it, it is weird that the law reguates our reationsips in any way anyway.

@JanEdichotoMY@xanga - actually, see some previous links I posted. The baby of a forty year old woman is JUST as likely to have birth defects as the baby of two first cousins. Are we going to tell 40 year olds that they’re not allowed children now?

Let gay people join in a union with the same legal laws as our but call it something OTHER than “marriage”

As for the incest thing, I don’t have any cousins so I am having a hard time passing judgement on this, part of me wants to just roll my eyes and say whatever but the other part of me fears for their offspring and their own mental health.

@haltija@xanga - Your points about polygamy are legitimate. I think allowing it would be legally confusing. I don’t care if they have multiple wives, but it would cause all sort of issues if more than one was a legal wife. There could be a limit, but it would have to be arbitrary. 

I think they are two different things. I think gay marriage should be legal, most definitely, but I’d feel a bit awkward about it if they were gay cousins for example.
I feel like the cousin thing should be legal…based on circumstances. I think it’s wrong if you spend you whole life knowing someone is your cousin and want to bang them, but I feel like it’s different if you’re like… adopted or something, start dating someone and find out you’re related later on, after your committed.

I don’t care if two first cousins want to marry. It doesn’t affect me. But they should adopt to avoid any genetic disorders in their children– even though that’s actually pretty unlikely between cousins.

To tell the truth, you can’t really choose who you’re in love with, so in a sense both are right. I think we really have a freedom to choose who we’re in love with, and most of all who we’re going to marry. 

I understand why some countries (or places) ban marriage between cousins, and if I’m not mistaken it has something to do with the DNA you share with your cousin; if you have sex with your cousin and are pregnant because of that, the lack of variety of breeding creates a higher chance of genetic disease (according to Darwin’s theory). [I'm not 100% sure, but if the fact is oppose to this, please tell me and I apologize in advance.]
Though I don’t understand at all why countries ban marriage of gay couples – I mean, you can’t get pregnant from that, can you?! So if genetics and diseases are not a problem, then why not?
And well, marrying doesn’t mean having sex and not marrying doesn’t mean not having sex. Hmm… Hard question XD

@written_conversations@xanga - my sister did.  SHe was like “mom, i don’t get pregnant because I don’t want a retarded brother or sister, but if you want another you can adopt”

I agree with my sister 100%.  After 40 you should adopt.

Well if you want to have a logical argument, if you’re accepting of gay marriage you should be accepting of any consenting adults marrying.

People have been marrying their cousins since the beginning of time. We might not do it ourselves, but it’s never impacted my life. It would be hypocritical to ban something that’s been legal for so long while claiming similar arguments for gay marriage. I am 100% for gay marriage and obviously my initial reaction to cousin marriage was, “Ew!” but, we were reading Jude the Obscure and people in my class from other cultures started talking about how cousin marriage was normal where they were from, and I started to reconsider.

@freebirdheart@xanga - 
“giving rise to to other pervertedness”

…so what are examples of this “pervertedness”?

Im all for expressing ones self and all that comes with it, and ai have blatent problems with stigmas that are attatched to certainlabels.

However, the results (as in offspring that have a much higher chance of having extreme physical and mental problems) of incest push me towards an anti-stance where i think it is utterly wrong to have sexual realtins, let alone marry one’s immediate family, first, second, third or fourth cousin.  I think it is a stong cultural social issue that has to be dealt with which is why other countries are accepting of such marriages.  The socialization process during secondary socialization should be aimed at internalizing that intimate love is different than familiar love and thus should be projected on those outside of the immediate family (because primary socialization includes a period of eros where the child falls inlove with the parent of the same sex).

On the other hand, I am openly Lesbian, thus I obviously support homosexual marriagge, seeing as if i didn’t want to live a life of constant hardship and hate crimes i would have chose the “easier” route – to be a “normal” striaght white woman. I don’t feel as thought I had a choice to fall in love with my partner who happens to be an amazing woman.

The same, I am in favour of consenting adults who have chosen their faith and converted and agree with polygamy, whether polyandy or polygyny! So long as we do not confuse Polgygamy with the cult of the FLDS and others alike, where incest is prelevent and children and women alike are done harm.

In all, I don’t feel that these two issues are on equal grounds. 

-Joy