Lovelyish

……………this is a joke right

You could always not date someone with a daughter who is almost the same age as you. I mean, I get that love is love but by the time you’re 40 he’s gonna be like on his death bed. I’m operating under the assumption that this is a distinct possibility because you’re both “very much in love.” The two of you can’t even grow old together. I don’t really have any advice for you other than maybe you could just introduce yourself as a 46 year old and hope nobody asks questions. 

pretty sure there was already a post about this.

just be yourself. and ask your boyfriend to broaden the subject first.

don’t try to act older than the kids , (like don’t try to be their mom)

try to be their friends first.

Just be nice. I think that’s really all you can do. People are going to judge your relationship, so don’t give them any more reason to. Dress appropriately, smile and be nice.

@emptyabyss@xanga - Sound advice!

Wasn’t this already posted on Datingish?

I wouldnt know what to say about that. Since your so close to the daughters age… My dads dating a girl like, 5 years older than me and I consider her a slut… Well… Thats because she actually is though lol

Uh, you don’t. They’re going to be pissed no matter what.

All you can do is be nice and hope for the best. Hopefully when they see how happy you make him, they’ll be welcoming to you. I wouldn’t try to be the kids’ mom, and you may end up having to tell them that. Just offer friendship. At some point all relationships are questioned and yours is no different. Good luck!

You allow your boyfriend to make the introductions.  Don’t try to impress them or  be cool, just be yourself.  They are going to have a hard time accepting anyone with their father that is not their mother.  It is going to be even harder if you are almost the same age that they are.  Let them get to know you and hopefully they will let go of any resentment they have toward you.  Maybe with time, they’ll begin to see what their father sees in you.

You realize your closer in age to his daughters than him right? By ALOT. The age difference between his youngest and oldest daughter is the same as the age difference between you and his oldest. It’s creepy. I’m sorry but I doubt they’re ever gonna take you seriously. I’m sure if your dad dated at 25 year old you’d think it’s weird, she’d be more like your peer, which you are towards his girls. Anyways I’m pretty sure you already posted the same thing, so I’m guessing you didn’t like the responses, but I’m sorry, you just gotta face it, it’s weird, if you wanna keep dating him, you just gotta accept it. 

@Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - i totally understand i just mean what right do we have to judge? i mean she’s not really asking for our opinions about her relationship with the guy it’s about meeting the family.

That’s disgusting.
I mean, 10 and 15 is old enough to realize that your dad is dating someone that is not much older than YOU.
What kind of sleazebag is this dude?
He obviously doesn’t care about the impact on his KIDS.
Gross, just gross– I know I’m being judgemental, but if he didn’t have KIDS I wouldn’t care, it’s the fact that he’s dating someone who is young enough to be his daughter and HE HAS daughters!

And there’s nothing this chick can say, unless these 2 kids are dumb as hell, they are going to hate her– and rightfully so! lol!

And agreed with the first person, hopefully this IS some kind of sick joke..

@beca - Quick question for you. I’m interested in maybe submitting a post, but the page that you fill out has a ,,Link to original post” box. Does this mean the post has to be somewhere else as well, or is it just an option?

at least he’s not banging his kids i guess?

I would listen to the girl here whose dad is dating a girl maybe 5 years older than she is, that is a great indication of what the daughters will actually think as well! The girl said that she thinks the woman is a slut…I think that people need to start thinking of the kids in this situation and in all situations. Relationships complicate their lives and they won’t like that. But since this person probably doesn’t care what the daughters think then of course you have to be nice and if anything is said that is bad, you have to take it or get out and not get involved! A father should never choose between some fling and his kids who are his main responsibility!

@emptyabyss@xanga - Hey — can you email me at beca@lovelyish.com? I can explain better then.

Wow, I love all the judgmental, bitchy comments on this post. They are so helpful. 

Like @Erika_Steele@xanga said, allow him to initiate things and don’t try to act like more than you are. Be yourself, be calm, and if you continue to show them that you aren’t feeling weird about it, they eventually won’t, either. The first meeting is going to be very tough, especially since you are young, but you show them what he sees in you and they will eventually see it, too. 

@Ashley Nicole Anders@facebook - I honestly don’t think there’s enough in her paragraph-sized request for anyone to determine her emotional and mental maturity level. We know next to nothing about either one of them. Just because they are going to face judgment elsewhere does not make it OK for us to go ahead and dish out ours, especially when she isn’t asking for it. We don’t know them. We can’t assume they’re doomed or disgusting.

I fail to understand how a 46 years old man has anything in common with a 20 years old?!  But whatever.  To answer your question, I would leave it to your bf to introduce you to his kids.  Just be friendly and cordial.  If his kids throws a tantrum or give you smart remarks, considering that they have every right to (since you’re not that much older than one of them), it is your bf’s responsibility to set them straight.  It’s a tough situation.  Good luck.

Last time I checked, she was asking for advice on meeting her boyfriend’s family, not everyone’s judgement on the age difference in her relationship. And frankly, the people who can’t be mature enough to look past the age gap in a relationship clearly has no business commenting on the maturity of either party in said relationship.

You know, glass houses and all…

To the original poster… Let your boyfriend introduce you. If you’re stressed out about meeting the kids, just be friendly, and try to find something that you have in common with them. Don’t listen to the people who are saying they will automatically hate you because of your age. A lot of kids are more mature than these commenters, and just want their parents to be happy. Good luck!

@Lost_In_Reverie@xanga - I think it’s because he has kids & she’s only five years older than the oldest.  That takes something from, “Ew, 26 years age difference” to “That’s really creepy/gross/disgusting/whatever-it-may-be”.  

Why in the hell would you continue to date a guy that has a daughter that’s ONLY five years younger than you?! Either you’re trolling or you’re just really stupid. That man obviously just wants you for bragging rights, the older you get the worse your self-esteem gets and getting someone that’s in their 20s is a GREAT self-esteem booster. He probably just wants you to be friends with his 15 year old and babysit his 10 year old when the teenager wants to hang with her friends.

@Lost_In_Reverie@xanga - There are exceptions to the rule, but really?  They are 26 years apart and who can look past that?  They are in different stages of their lives and he has a daughter that is five years her junior.  People are going to comment and be judgmental.  It’s the internet and when you decide to post up your personal life in public, you better be ready for everyone to criticize every aspect of it regardless if you ask for it or not.

The fact that you’re old enough to be his daughter is a giveaway not to date him. And the fact that he is shady enough to date and sleep with a girl who is young enough to be his daughter is grounds to leave.

@jeezshoua@xanga - I feel like the “If you post about your life on the internet, you have to expect people to be a dick to you” is very disappointing logic. There’s no need for that. You’re right in the sense that that is what you can expect, I just think that it’s sad that this is the case. And to your original question… I can look past that. I have been in relationships with comparable age differences and it was never because the man was a pedophile, or because I was being taken advantage of, or because I had daddy issues. It was because we were two people who had a lot in common, who were attracted to each other, and who enjoyed spending time together. 

Sometimes.. loves just.. love. 

Who cares about the age difference. I mean damn, you’re not actually his kids age in an illegal relationship. You’re an adult, he’s an adult. Sometimes you can’t help who you fall in love with, it just happens. My mother in law in 16 years younger than my father in law. They had their first child when she was 20 and him 36. At first I was shocked and thought wow, that’s weird but once I met them and got to know them it all changed. They are one of the best couples I have ever met in my life! When any one meets the family of their boyf/girlf they should always be themselves. You can’t force anyone to accept you or like you but you can be the person your boyf/girlf fell in love with and hope they come around. Clearly everyone is going to judge you but if you’re good for/to this man and he’s good for/to you eventually everyone will see that and accept it.

@Lost_In_Reverie@xanga - It’s true.  People are going to be very judgmental and criticize you about it because they don’t know you nor your relationship with whomever.  It sucks, but it happens.. a lot.  You can look past that bc you have a similar situation, but many can’t and they don’t understand it.  But at the end of the day, if you are happy, I think that’s what matter.. and not what everyone says about it.

This is epic.  I have no problem with the age difference (especially since I’ve dated people a decade from my own age), but the fact that you’re 5 years older than one of his kids is just funny.  They’re old enough to know the truth, so just introduce yourself as the hot piece of ass that Daddy left Mommy for because Mommy was getting wrinkles and grey hair.  

But seriously, I’d just go with “Hi, I’m *your name here* – I’m your dad’s girlfriend”.  Unless you have a sense of humor and his kids to too – then I’d go with my above comment.

@AndiBean85@xanga - Great motivation to not have kids, right?