I love bargains, so it follows that I adore Groupon and similar sites. I have an entire folder in my email dedicated to coupons I’ve amassed, and date night is usually spent at whichever restaurant had a deal that week. But every once in a while I’ll find a ridiculous offer in my inbox. Here are some odd goods, services and horror stories from the world of online coupons.
1. $35 for caffeine-infused weight loss bodysuit ($74.99 value). So apparently the caffeine in this thing is supposed to minimize cellulite? And it’s supposed to help you lose weight? Can someone with a science degree tell me how they expect anyone in the whole wide world to believe that? [via KGB Deals]
2. $599 for a Seven-Hour Dream Car Rally Driving Experience ($1,200 value). So I can pay 600 bones to drive a car around that will just make me feel bad about my real-life ride? I’d rather just put the money towards a mechanic. [via Living Social]
3. $1,900 for Lasik Surgery ($2,800 Value). This one just reminds me of Dr. Nick from The Simpsons. I suppose if you do your research on the optometrist you’ll probably be fine, but it just feels inherently wrong to use a coupon on major eye surgery. [via Groupon]
4. $30 for an Incredibly Creepy Massage ($60 value). Usually Groupon’s massage deals are pretty good, and my friend Sarah decided to buy this one. Luckily she had the smarts to check out the masseuse’s reviews before she went. Check these out:
I came across Mr. Dillard’s services via a FaceBook deal…[His] website portrayed a very nice, clean studio and I was excited about getting a massage. When I purchased the FB deal, however, the coupon indicated a different address. Further, when I made the appointment for the massage I was sent an email confirmation with still a THIRD address for the Mr. Dillard.
A few days before the appointment, Mr. Dillard sent me a friend request via FB. I should’ve canceled the appointment right then and there. Why do I want some random guy, whom I’ve never met and who was going to see me practically naked during my massage to be my FB friend?
When I arrived for the appointment, I discovered that the “massage studio” was simply an unfurnished room inside of an auto insurance office!! I thought this weird. The door to the insurance office was locked. The insurance agent was in the office and he opened the door to let me in. While I sat and waited for Mr. Dillard, I asked the insurance agent if it was common practice to keep the office door locked while customers were in the building, and he stated this was not the case. I still found it odd that two grown men needed to keep the door locked on a Sunday afternoon. My anxiety went sky high. I immediately had thoughts that there would be creepy webcams in the massage room.
There was inadequate privacy for customers receiving massage as when the door to the “massage room” was opened, the insurance agent could clearly see into the room, including the massage table, where the massage was to be performed.
As a woman, I felt incredibly unsafe and uncomfortable to be in a locked building with two men and would be mostly undressed for the massage. Needless to say, I bailed on the massage.
And one more:
I didn’t even get to experience my massage, because Rafael asked me out on a date via text the day before my appointment. I’m dead serious.
We have never met or seen one another face to face, only had one phone conversation a few days prior because he had to reschedule. When we talked a second time to confirm my appointment for the next day, it was via text and he asked me out for a drink – I still have the texts to prove it, in case anyone is curious to see. To make matters worse, after I told him I was married, he told me “don’t tell your hubby I hit on you. Please!” Um, seriously?
Needless to say, this was extremely unprofessional and creeped me out. I did not go to my appointment, there was no way I could get undressed in front of this guy and let him put his hands on me. Beware! Rafael is looking for a date more than he’s looking to help people with massage!
And that, folks, is why I love Yelp.
What’s the weirdest coupon deal you’ve ever seen?